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Goat

Ten Ways To Get On The Property Ladder

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Just seen the TV listing, apparently this includes:

1. Buying a boat (not a bad idea but not exactly suitable for all)

2. Becoming a landlord (FFS, where do I begin!)

3. Buying overseas (and commute to work?)

I think this needs to be preserved as the final stage in the housing madness. Where a supposed "expert" says that the only way for most people to get on the property ladder is to not get on the property ladder after all.

Wonder what the remaining 7 will be?

7. Sleep in a shop doorway for 10 years until you save up enough of a deposit to get on the ladder.

8. If you're female then extra money can be made from prostitution, become a call girl and get a bed for the night thrown in.

9. Murder your parents and use the equity in their house. If you have siblings you might want to consider knocking them off as well, alternatively frame them for the crime so that they can't inherit.

10. Become a government minister and get a grace and favour pad thrown in as well.

:angry: :angry: :angry: :angry: :angry:

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You missed out 4, 5 and 6.

I suspect they may be:

4. Educate the public about the perilous state of the housing market (thereby precipitating its downfall accoring to one Sun reader). This will allow you to get on the ladder quicker. Kirsty will recommend housepricecrash.co.uk as recently featured in the FT.

5. Save, save, save as a rescession is looming

6. Buy a ladder; write "Property" on it in felt tip pen; stand on said ladder.

Edited by newbie

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12) Email this site to as many people as you possibly can to publisise the fact that there are some sensible folks out there who refuse to laden themselves with ridiculous debt to live in chav standard housing just to compete with the next person! This should increase buyer confidence, spread the message and put things in favour of the buyer for a change!! :angry:

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Whats a PROPERTY LADDER? :wacko:

I thought there was 2 tiers. The rich get richer and the ourpriced can fook off!!

There isnt a ladder at all. PLUS. lets not forget folks.

Who will be laffing when the oncoming recession hits hard? THe soft b@stards that have stretched themselves and have a house that is losing £500 a week or the like of us who have NO DEPRECIATING stock and have shit-loads in the bank? :)

TB

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Sadly, it's not THAT Kirsty, but Kirsty Young.

Description of this show in Guardian TV guide starts with:

"As house prices continue to rocket in the UK..."

Anyone wishing to journey in that particular rocket will barely get off the launchpad... ;)

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Sadly, it's not THAT Kirsty, but Kirsty Young.

Oh, so it is. Still likely to be the same VI nonsense, only difference is this time it's presented by someone who knows even less.

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8. If you're female then extra money can be made from prostitution, become a call girl and get a bed for the night thrown in.

8.5 Likewise if you are a man.... :o

:lol:

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Sadly, it's not THAT Kirsty, but Kirsty Young.

Description of this show in Guardian TV guide starts with:

"As house prices continue to rocket in the UK..."

Anyone wishing to journey in that particular rocket will barely get off the launchpad... ;)

That rocket may end up doing what this one did - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nedelin_catastrophe

"The second stage engines fired immediately, the flames cutting into the fuel tanks of the first stage immediately below them. A massive explosion and fires resulted. Film cameras around the launch pad that were set to automatically record the launch were triggered by the ignition of the second stage and captured the horrific scene. Those near the rocket were instantly incinerated, while those further away burned to death or were killed by the resulting toxic gases. Andrei Sakharov reported that he had viewed this film and describes many harrowing details - as soon as the engines had started most of those on the pad had run for the perimeter but were trapped by a security fence and then engulfed in a tidal wave of burning fuel. Nedelin and over 100 others were killed, but ironically, Yangel survived. He had left the area for a smoking break where he was discussing the possibility of abandoning the launch with the chief technicians."

Edited by newbie

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Guest Riser

1. Remove brain - don't think about it too hard, buying a house s a no brainer

2. Listen to parents - property always goes up

3. Listen to girlfriend - we can never be happy without owning our own house

4. Listen to Estate Agents - there has never been a better time to buy

5. Listen to banks - We will do all we can to lend you as much as we can so you can buy the property of your dreams

6. Listen to the BBC - The economy is in great shape and houseprices surged in January buy now or miss the boat

7. Listen to Kirsty - Renting is dead money, its time you grew up and invested in your future

8. Listen to Gordon - We want everyone to own their own homes and we will do everything we can to make that possible

9. Don't expect too much - well what did you think you would get for £150k

10. Don't be difficult - Don't haggle, offer asking price, your lucky to have the opportunity to buy

Edited by Riser

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Guest boredwaiting

1. Remove brain - don't think about it too hard, buying a house s a no brainer

2. Listen to parents - property always goes up

3. Listen to girlfriend - we can never be happy without owning our own house

4. Listen to Estate Agents - there has never been a better time to buy

5. Listen to banks - We will do all we can to lend you as much as we can so you can buy the property of your dreams

6. Listen to the BBC - The economy is in great shape and houseprices surged in January buy now or miss the boat

7. Listen to Kirsty - Renting is dead money, its time you grew up and invested in your future

8. Listen to Gordon - We want everyone to own their own homes and we will do everything we can to make that possible

9. Don't expect too much - well what did you think you would get for £150k

10. Don't be difficult - Don't haggle, offer asking price, your lucky to have the opportunity to buy

Oh! This may be my life....

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Oh, so it is. Still likely to be the same VI nonsense, only difference is this time it's presented by someone who knows even less.

11. Show the same programs time and again to squeeze as much cash from them as possible.

This was on last year.

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That rocket may end up doing what this one did - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nedelin_catastrophe

"The second stage engines fired immediately, the flames cutting into the fuel tanks of the first stage immediately below them. A massive explosion and fires resulted. Film cameras around the launch pad that were set to automatically record the launch were triggered by the ignition of the second stage and captured the horrific scene. Those near the rocket were instantly incinerated, while those further away burned to death or were killed by the resulting toxic gases. Andrei Sakharov reported that he had viewed this film and describes many harrowing details - as soon as the engines had started most of those on the pad had run for the perimeter but were trapped by a security fence and then engulfed in a tidal wave of burning fuel. Nedelin and over 100 others were killed, but ironically, Yangel survived. He had left the area for a smoking break where he was discussing the possibility of abandoning the launch with the chief technicians."

Eek. That's quite disturbing... :blink:

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or 10 ways to RECOGNISE a ladder.

The property world is more like a step now! your either on it or not! :blink:

TB

Was it Simon & Garfunkel who sang "50 ways to leave your lover"?

Perhaps we could do a cover version "50 ways to leave the ladder" :D

Edit: Was trying to reply to W & L but got Teddy instead.

Edited by Young Goat

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  • 301 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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