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I'm thinking of giving up on work


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I truely dont get people who must clean up immediately after making some food prep mess. Fook that, when the wife is at work and kids at school , I do it 15 mins before leaving to pick the kids up, dont bother me one bit. 

I think it's an ex-chef thing, we always had pot washes and kitchen porters to do shit like cleaning up. We just "created" food.

I use to ring my husband before I left work to avoid walking into chaos.  Every now and then, he'd get no warning which was usually such fun to see his reaction.  When the children began to understand the dynamics, they'd would tip him off if they knew I was on my way home. Love their loyalty.

Given you are an ex-chef, I think you can be forgiven for your avoidance tatics.

 

 

It’s probably better than what many have, ungrateful family and crappy wives are all over the place.  I’m off next week to see my buddy who’s just separated, stuck renting while the wife keeps the house and he gets the kids at the weekend while she gets fresh **** no doubt.  

Other than the need for order, I think my husband believes I'm an alright wife.

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I have a house deposit that is large enough to not need to work for about 5 years.

I was in a similar position during the downturn of 2008-2009. While I did not have your complications, I was pretty fed up with the world around me at that time.  I stopped 'working' - i.e. I stopped pursuing the things that would generate short-to-medium-term payments in my direction.  My rationale was that I couldn't see a viable way to buy and pay-off a decent house by any of the avenues I saw as open to me... and I had enough money to do anything else I could imaging wanting to do. Until I could work out how to actually use my earnings, there wasn't much point pushing myself to gently increase my savings... all the while falling further behind being in a position to buy a nice house outright.

I spent about 18 months doing my own research - lots of reading... on many and varied topics.  It was a weird time,  and far from the introvert's utopia one might imagine.  My savings dwindled (paying rent) and, eventually, I convinced myself to do things to pursue earning again.  I wasn't even slightly happy during this period of my life - but I don't think I could have avoided it.  In some sense, for me, it was inevitable... rather than a choice... and it was an experience that helped shape who I am today.

Whatever you choose to do, my main advice would be this:  Don't frame it as a negative. Rather than considering stopping working because working is pointless... ask yourself if you have something better to do with your time than pursuing someone else's objectives.  If you do, perhaps doing it isn't a daft idea?

Edited by A.steve
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I use to ring my husband before I left work to avoid walking into chaos.  Every now and then, he'd get no warning which was usually such fun to see his reaction.  When the children began to understand the dynamics, they'd would tip him off if they knew I was on my way home. Love their loyalty.

Given you are an ex-chef, I think you can be forgiven for your avoidance tatics.

 

Other than the need for order, I think my husband believes I'm an alright wife.

Well it’s good that you care what he thinks, it’s not the case for many of my friends wives.  

Edited by satsuma
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I spent about 18 months doing my own research - lots of reading... on many and varied topics.  It was a weird time,  and far from the introvert's utopia one might imagine. 

This I deem as my most important stage of life. the long period of research. I was very depressed. but now I understand the workings of the world, economics etc. 
 

I wouldn’t want to do it again, but I’m glad I did. It fostered a great character building, a baptism of fire so to speak. 

the knowledge gained from my 18 month period really set me up for life (2012-2013) as along with other things I was at the right time and with enough understanding to really understand the magnitude of bitcoin, and investments in general. 

at one point I quit my job with no plan on where to go next. I was not in the right frame of mind and I reached a point of ‘I can’t keep doing this and reaching the same situation’ it was scary as it was against my character.

a I found myself a few weeks later walking an old dog on the beach out of season, and it was wonderful, good for my soul. 

I figured I needed to throw myself onto the winds of fate, and throw the cards in the air. 

years later after dragging myself out of depression, fighting hard situations, I met the most wonderful person in the world, we have a fantastic house, and plans to clear the mortgage ASAP, and get married soon. 

It was maybe a good 5 year struggle to clear depression and get to the point I could finally say I was happy, but that 18 month period of reading, followed by quitting my job and where I lived, really made my life worth living again. 

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This I deem as my most important stage of life. the long period of research. I was very depressed. but now I understand the workings of the world, economics etc. 
 

I wouldn’t want to do it again, but I’m glad I did. It fostered a great character building, a baptism of fire so to speak. 

the knowledge gained from my 18 month period really set me up for life (2012-2013) as along with other things I was at the right time and with enough understanding to really understand the magnitude of bitcoin, and investments in general. 

at one point I quit my job with no plan on where to go next. I was not in the right frame of mind and I reached a point of ‘I can’t keep doing this and reaching the same situation’ it was scary as it was against my character.

a I found myself a few weeks later walking an old dog on the beach out of season, and it was wonderful, good for my soul. 

I figured I needed to throw myself onto the winds of fate, and throw the cards in the air. 

years later after dragging myself out of depression, fighting hard situations, I met the most wonderful person in the world, we have a fantastic house, and plans to clear the mortgage ASAP, and get married soon. 

It was maybe a good 5 year struggle to clear depression and get to the point I could finally say I was happy, but that 18 month period of reading, followed by quitting my job and where I lived, really made my life worth living again. 

Good for you, it's great to hear positive stories.

Stay humble though, you may not yet understand all the workings of the world, including bitcoin 😉

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On 20/11/2020 at 18:31, phantominvestor said:

I have a house deposit that is large enough to not need to work for about 5 years.

I have schizophrenia so I am quite ill, I'm thinking of jacking in work and just living off benefits when my cash runs out.


What do you think?

I'm a software engineer. I will stay on top of things in the industry.

Don't do it.

Benefits in this country are an absolute pittance for most.

You'll get a bit more (because of the schizophrenia), but it's still only about £17 a day. That's very doable without any other expenses, but you'll need to A) Top up your rent out of that (HB will fall short by at least 25-30%) and B ) Get used to paying top whack for utilities and all the rest. 

It's also not likely to be great for your mental health.

I would honestly go and live abroad somewhere if you can. 

Edited by byron78
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This I deem as my most important stage of life. the long period of research. I was very depressed. but now I understand the workings of the world, economics etc. 
...

really made my life worth living again. 

In 18 months, I taught myself a lot... but I didn't get as far as understanding the workings of the world - that's still a work in progress for me.

Establishing that which can make one's own life worth living has to be one of the most difficult things that any of us face.  For myself, I solved house at the end of 2018 - but not personal relationships.  Of course, the current hysterical environment isn't doing me any favours on that front. Some things, perhaps, are not 'meant to be'... though I remain sceptical that such a spiritual perspective is appropriate for what is blatantly a political issue.

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Could you not buy a place, do your savings don't just get spent on living expenses, then maybe set up an online business from home?  Or just do a very basic job?

 

I totally understand where you are coming from, work wise, I am currently considering taking a paycut, so as to not have to work with complete a hole's, and also get some skills that will be useful in 10 years time.

 

However, I think just doing nothing and living off your savings may be just as bad or even worse for your mental health.

 

(Disclaimer: I am not a mental health expert)

 

 

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Could you not buy a place, do your savings don't just get spent on living expenses, then maybe set up an online business from home?  Or just do a very basic job?

 

I totally understand where you are coming from, work wise, I am currently considering taking a paycut, so as to not have to work with complete a hole's, and also get some skills that will be useful in 10 years time.

 

However, I think just doing nothing and living off your savings may be just as bad or even worse for your mental health.

 

(Disclaimer: I am not a mental health expert)

 

 

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you'll get eff all in benefits if you have over more than 16k ask @longgone

This might be different since you have an illness but you will have to go through an assessment from the DWP and it can take ages for them to assess your claim. Lots of horror stories .  Getting money out of  HMG| even if entitled is like pulling teeth.  

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you'll get eff all in benefits if you have over more than 16k ask @longgone

This might be different since you have an illness but you will have to go through an assessment from the DWP and it can take ages for them to assess your claim. Lots of horror stories .  Getting money out of  HMG| even if entitled is like pulling teeth.  

I plan to run my savings down until at 16k, which is two years of leeway.

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I plan to run my savings down until at 16k, which is two years of leeway.

OK...

This website might help you:

https://www.benefitsandwork.co.uk/

I recommend you become a member it costs like £20 a  year.  They have guides to help you with the DWP forms and sample letters should you need them when dealing  with the process.  Also  they have a forum with experts/ pro's i.e its their job so they know what they're talking about.

As you have an illness you're already entitled to PIP (personal independence payment) which is not means tested and can be claimed even if you work. Once your below 16k you can claim ESA.  All told with various benefits your looking at a grand a month net.  Can you live on that ? 

As for rent you will have to claim HB (now Universal credit). I have no idea about the new system but it is now done based on LHA (local authority) rates which may not cover the full amount of your rent.  It depends on your area  and your situation. I dont know . You need to research this!

Good luck with it

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I plan to run my savings down until at 16k, which is two years of leeway.

My advice (which I wouldn't have given a few years ago), is to run you savings down as fast as possible, preferably while you still have a job, put the money into either something that will be useful long term (like a car) or something that holds value (like gold), or just something you enjoy (night help your MH)

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No disrespect to you but I do not feel that you should be asking this type of advice on this forum. I’d urge you to speak to someone totally independent about your current situation.

 

 

I don't know you but my thoughts are with you. For all the aggression on HPC, there are people who care.

Agree with both - people do care and please seek help.  Do not make any impetuous decisions my friend.  All the best.  

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I plan to run my savings down until at 16k, which is two years of leeway.

If you are budgeting for £8k a year over 5 years, it sounds like you have about £40k savings. That doesn't sound like anywhere near enough to me. If you have low expenses and are forced to economise, I am sure you could survive, but I am not sure what all that scrimping would do to help your mental state. 

Another thing, if you quit working for five years, there's a high chance you will never work again, especially as a software engineer. I know you say you will keep current, but I don't see that making a difference. If you apply for any role after 5 years off, your CV is likely going to be binned straight away.

Surely there are better options for you here. Could you not approach your employer to take some unpaid time off first? If you explain your circumstances, there's a chance they might grant your request. Also, rather than take the nuclear option of not working at all for 5 years, would not not consider maybe taking less time off, maybe go travel, or pursue an interest?

Best of luck with whatever you decide.

 

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  • 444 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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