shlomo Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 In a divorce if your partner has been at home looking after the Children and having Coffee with the girls in Costa, should she/he get part of your pension, should it be part of the settlement Dividing pensions on divorce or dissolution In divorce or dissolution, the pension can be the biggest asset after the family home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dorkins Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 In Portugal when you get married you tick a box on the form to say whether you are sharing all assets, only sharing assets accumulated during the marriage or remaining financially separate. In the UK you have no choice, if you get married it's all assets and that's that no matter how much each person brought into the marriage, who earned the most during the marriage, how long the marriage lasted etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huggy Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 I voted no, but only due to very specific personal circumstances. She got none of the pension in this case but did get other stuff. In normal circumstances I'd vote yes depending on what She's given up. Only fair. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dugsbody Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 In a divorce if your partner has been at home looking after the Children and having Coffee with the girls in Costa, should she/he get part of your pension, should it be part of the settlement It's a false choice. I'd much rather be at work than looking after children at home. I feel like that is the better part of the bargain. I don't know who these stay-at-home partners are who get to "sip coffee in costa" but life isn't like that with kids. They're awful. Just kidding. (not really kidding, don't have kids) But as for the rest of the process in the UK, it is completely bonkers. If we divorce, she gets half the assets even though I accumulated most of the wealth prior to marriage and she came into the relationship with negative wealth (student debt). Doesn't seem right to me but then my priority would be to make sure my kids have the best life possible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shlomo Posted October 27, 2020 Author Share Posted October 27, 2020 It's a false choice. I'd much rather be at work than looking after children at home. I feel like that is the better part of the bargain. I don't know who these stay-at-home partners are who get to "sip coffee in costa" but life isn't like that with kids. They're awful. Just kidding. (not really kidding, don't have kids) But as for the rest of the process in the UK, it is completely bonkers. If we divorce, she gets half the assets even though I accumulated most of the wealth prior to marriage and she came into the relationship with negative wealth (student debt). Doesn't seem right to me but then my priority would be to make sure my kids have the best life possible. The guy I work with wants to become a house husband after I told him he would be on to a winner, his wife does earn double his salary so it does make financial sense, I said it his life will consist of choosing between Costa and Starbucks and pret dropping his kids off and collecting them from school and hanging around with the yummy mummies I am a bad influence Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dugsbody Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 The guy I work with wants to become a house husband after I told him he would be on to a winner, his wife does earn double his salary so it does make financial sense, I said it his life will consist of choosing between Costa and Starbucks and pret dropping his kids off and collecting them from school and hanging around with the yummy mummies Oh, we're talking about kids of school age? Different then, wouldn't know. But hanging out and entertaining babies and toddlers for 12 hours straight is my idea of hell. Work is bliss in comparison. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottbeard Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 In a divorce if your partner has been at home looking after the Children and having Coffee with the girls in Costa, should she/he get part of your pension, should it be part of the settlement Yes. If your partner has been denied the chance of earning their own pension because they have been looking after YOUR children, why not? If you think your wife isn't pulling her weight in the relationship, when she gets home from "having Coffee with the girls in Costa" maybe that's the time to have a word about it, rather than the divorce courts... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markyh Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 The guy I work with wants to become a house husband after I told him he would be on to a winner, his wife does earn double his salary so it does make financial sense, I said it his life will consist of choosing between Costa and Starbucks and pret dropping his kids off and collecting them from school and hanging around with the yummy mummies I am a bad influence He he, read my post somewhere here a few weeks back about "the long con". 😉 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shlomo Posted October 27, 2020 Author Share Posted October 27, 2020 If you think your wife isn't pulling her weight in the relationship, when she gets home from "having Coffee with the girls in Costa" maybe that's the time to have a word about it, rather than the divorce courts... I do not think having a Coffee at Costa has ever been used as a reason for divorce Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winkie Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 Nobody is forced to get married....many don't, so if do decide to marry you enter into that contract undertaking to share all if the marriage is dissolved....for richer, for poorer, till death or divorce do part. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shlomo Posted October 27, 2020 Author Share Posted October 27, 2020 He he, read my post somewhere here a few weeks back about "the long con". 😉 You cannot be a Yummy mummy and an Alpha male at the same time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
markyh Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 You cannot be a Yummy mummy and an Alpha male at the same time. No but when my eldest kid was in private primary school, Those yummy mummies where always inviting the "droppers / collecters" (Me) for coffees. I went to several, some really nice places, but man they talk shit, and it's always funny to throw an Alpha Male in a women's coffee morning. Knew all the mums , and a few dads, on first name basis. you got some not hot power working mummies, hot working mummies, and seriously hot trophy wives, the ones who's facebook pages had plenty of photos of them in bikini's at "the other house" , buy the beach, in Panama!! I remember a joint trip to Legoland during the extra private school easter hols (they have 2 exrta weeks so you get to do stuff on the cheap / quite while all the state school kids are still at school). Went with a Divorcee yummy mummy Solicitor , and our kids. That was interesting, as i went to school with her , she was a year above me. Thigh length leather boots didn't seem the right thing for Legoland, but it worked for me , lol. Was no shock when 18 months later it came out she stole the hubby of a new kid who just started that term, his wife was not a looker though, and he had the money / his own business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shlomo Posted October 27, 2020 Author Share Posted October 27, 2020 No but when my eldest kid was in private primary school, Those yummy mummies where always inviting the "droppers / collecters" (Me) for coffees. I went to several, some really nice places, but man they talk shit, and it's always funny to throw an Alpha Male in a women's coffee morning. Knew all the mums , and a few dads, on first name basis. you got some not hot power working mummies, hot working mummies, and seriously hot trophy wives, the ones who's facebook pages had plenty of photos of them in bikini's at "the other house" , buy the beach, in Panama!! I remember a joint trip to Legoland during the extra private school easter hols (they have 2 exrta weeks so you get to do stuff on the cheap / quite while all the state school kids are still at school). Went with a Divorcee yummy mummy Solicitor , and our kids. That was interesting, as i went to school with her , she was a year above me. Thigh length leather boots didn't seem the right thing for Legoland, but it worked for me , lol. Was no shock when 18 months later it came out she stole the hubby of a new kid who just started that term, his wife was not a looker though, and he had the money / his own business. If you had played your cards right you would have been some totty, i bet you have some incredible stories, that you cannot tell your wife, as a Saffa she would cut your balls off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frugal Git Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 It can actually make for a very lucrative work around on the tax system (it's my sick hobby to think about these things), if your relationship is secure. One partner may have a stuffed pension, but in retirement they can only drawdown up to their own personal allowance before paying tax (and NI before state pension age). So if they draw down 25k a year, they’ll be paying tax and NI on 12.5k, which amounts to about 4K. If you divorce at retirement age, and split the pension fund, but continue to live together you can both drawdown that 25k at 12.5k each using both personal allowances, and pay no tax. worth 40k over 10 years in saved tax. I realise how twisted my brain is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shlomo Posted October 27, 2020 Author Share Posted October 27, 2020 It can actually make for a very lucrative work around on the tax system (it's my sick hobby to think about these things), if your relationship is secure. One partner may have a stuffed pension, but in retirement they can only drawdown up to their own personal allowance before paying tax (and NI before state pension age). So if they draw down 25k a year, they’ll be paying tax and NI on 12.5k, which amounts to about 4K. If you divorce at retirement age, and split the pension fund, but continue to live together you can both drawdown that 25k at 12.5k each using both personal allowances, and pay no tax. worth 40k over 10 years in saved tax. I realise how twisted my brain is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frugal Git Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 I missed my calling in life, yes 😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frugal Git Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/pensions/article-7240513/amp/Should-fake-divorce-wife-split-pension.html Good to know I’m not alone though 😂 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shlomo Posted October 27, 2020 Author Share Posted October 27, 2020 https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.thisismoney.co.uk/money/pensions/article-7240513/amp/Should-fake-divorce-wife-split-pension.html Good to know I’m not alone though 😂 I can hear people thinking about what you suggested..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frugal Git Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 I can hear people thinking about what you suggested..... This is HPC, not minority report Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hughjass Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 Frugal Git can you explain about the Ni payable on drawdown? If you are drawing a normal pension you dont pay Ni. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frugal Git Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 Frugal Git can you explain about the Ni payable on drawdown? If you are drawing a normal pension you dont pay Ni. I’m wrong. Good news 😀 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scottbeard Posted October 27, 2020 Share Posted October 27, 2020 I do not think having a Coffee at Costa has ever been used as a reason for divorce Okaaay - so let's go back to your original comment then: In a divorce if your partner has been at home looking after the Children and having Coffee with the girls in Costa, should she/he get part of your pension, should it be part of the settlement. The subtext of that comment is "my wife just drinks coffee whilst the kids play so doesn't deserve any pension in a divorce". Like I said, if you think your wife isn't pulling her weight, have a word. If you think she IS pulling her weight, then she deserves a share of your pension on divorce, no? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
longgone Posted October 28, 2020 Share Posted October 28, 2020 why have an expensive divorce when a Chechen hitman can do the job for the cost of a 1999 ford mondeo more frugality needed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GregBowman Posted October 28, 2020 Share Posted October 28, 2020 Isn’t it up to individual couples how they split their assets ? If you were married I would consider it part of the pot to be split Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BoredByTorque Posted October 28, 2020 Share Posted October 28, 2020 I'm pretty sure she hasn't just been sitting around drinking Costa coffee. Just as you don't just go to work to be social and not deal with the boring relentless cr@p of kid-life. I've done both, and I'd prefer to work. But this is you feeling hard done by and she's probably on MN telling everyone what a knob you are, so swings and roundabouts I guess 🤷 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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