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My son's partner has just been diagnosed with cancer, as they have 3 children under 6 including a 12 week baby they are asking for help from us. We are in a position to move in or live in our caravan in their garden. We have just been given notice by our landlord so we have to move anyway.

Regarding finance we are self employed and have just come to the end of a job. We get interest from our house sale which would pay for storage and a bit over, so things would be tight.

Questions

They live in a council house is that a problem to move in temporarily (6 months or so while she has chemo)?

We wouldn't have our own address.

Would we be entitled to any benifits?

Anything else we should consider?

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My son's partner has just been diagnosed with cancer, as they have 3 children under 6 including a 12 week baby they are asking for help from us. We are in a position to move in or live in our caravan in their garden. We have just been given notice by our landlord so we have to move anyway.

Regarding finance we are self employed and have just come to the end of a job. We get interest from our house sale which would pay for storage and a bit over, so things would be tight.

Questions

They live in a council house is that a problem to move in temporarily (6 months or so while she has chemo)?

We wouldn't have our own address.

Would we be entitled to any benifits?

Anything else we should consider?

I would advise that there would be no legal problem with moving into your son's council house with them but there would I am sure be an overcrowding issue. I am sorry perhaps I have not fully understood your situation.

Do you live in the same area as your son?

You say you have come to the end of a job but have you another job lined up? Has business been slow? Are you planning to wind up the business or are you approaching retirement? I only ask because all these questions relate to your future income and will affect what benefits are available to you.

Sorry I couldn't help more, I agree that you should talk to your Citizens Advice Bureau but I would also suggest that you talk to your local councillor - either should be able to advise about benefits and help out with providing some options.

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My two cents having looked after my Mum, who is now in hospital very ill, by myself for several years and thinking that I was all alone...

Basically, if you don't ask and try to 'soldier on' by yourselves then the honourable thing you are now aiming to do will become like an enormous weight that you carry upon your shoulders - at first you will not even notice it but eventually, in time, it will wear you down... so you need to get help.

The 'place' that you need to ask for help is the Doctors and Nurses who are treating your son's partner for her cancer. Yes, I know that is perhaps the last place that you would consider asking but basically they will be able to put you in touch with a social worker who will be able to advise on the various care options available, benefits available, etc. Often, the better bet is to go straight to the family GP, who should be aware of the situation, and ask him/her to get a Social Worker involved. - your son and his partner should do this ASAP IMPO.

I had always been brought up to believe that there was something somehow wrong in having any involvement with Social Services but, basically, that is what they are there for and a good Social Worker will not only be able to advise you on benefits but will perhaps be able to push them through quickly also, get help for your son and his partner, for the care of the children, etc, etc. The GP and Social Worker usually work in tandem. They might even be able to get you a nearby Council House or flat when you explain the situation.

If and when you meet any such Social Worker then you need to lay it on with a trowel - i.e. how your son cannot cope without your help as he will be looking after his partner so you are needed for the kids, etc, etc, etc. Also, a bit of advice I was given, was to push at this from two sides.... so get your son and his partner go to their GP and get him/her to get Social Services involved but do the same with the Doctors who are treating her for the cancer...

I would imagine some kind of carers' allowance, for your son's partner, would be in order so you need to ask about that as a priority and possibly child benefit might alter because of the situation.

Apart from that, best of luck to all of you.

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Oh, being self-employed myself the other thing is do not make the mistake of telling anyone that you have come to the end of a job as they - Social Services, Doctors, Nurses, whoever - will hit you with a double whammy. On one hand they will expect you to do the caring for nothing and at the same time you will find that, as you are self-employed who is voluntarilly stopping working that you will be considered as having given up your own jobs and hence not eligible for any benefits...

So the way to play it is to say that you are self-employed, that you have lots of work on but it COULD be possible for you to set X time aside in the coming weeks/months to look after the family IF you have such and such support. Obviously, you will say, you could not do this without some form of carers' allowance, help about where you live locally to your son's family, etc, etc.

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Thanks for all the helpful suggestions.

We are foster carers hence self employed so we can put that on hold. Our present placement is leaving soon so we'll be free and it just would seem wrong to take on more of other peoples children when our own grandchildren need us. Its also very difficult if we take on a new placement as it ties us so much. We can't be spontaneous. Also fostering can be emotionally draining and with all this going on we wouldn't be in the right frame of mind.

At present we live near Bristol my son's family live in the midlands.

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  • 302 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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