Women Cant Have It All

[slater14]

im single, ive not had a gf since i was 15. Im sure that what you suggest will make her phone up her female friends and tell them all how romantic thier guy is, like i said romantic ideal. Do it for how long .. forever? then miss a week and see what the negative response will be.

Or she will get bored of it and let you know that you are so predictable then f*ck a friend for abit of bad-boy excitement. Of course that wont happen in our romantic world though.

Anyways stop making me reply. Im tierd and i think the meaning to this thread was lost long ago

Chuz,

How old are you Chuz? I know we've chatted for a long time but I cant remember if you've told me your age?

The point of this thread and reason I responded was because Bubb's response seemed wholey wrong IMHO. If you change the word 'woman' for 'Muslim' on his post he would have bee marched off this topic forthwith.

Sweeping generalisations rarely work and I was merely showing another side to the coin. I didnt want this to turn into some sort of dating advice forum...but it does seem some guys need a little bit of education.

Your Miss Right WILL come along and when she does....Bubb's post will seem a little odd to you too.

[Mags]

Chuz,

How old are you Chuz? I know we've chatted for a long time but I cant remember if you've told me your age?

The point of this thread and reason I responded was because Bubb's response seemed wholey wrong IMHO. If you change the word 'woman' for 'Muslim' on his post he would have bee marched off this topic forthwith.

Sweeping generalisations rarely work and I was merely showing another side to the coin. I didnt want this to turn into some sort of dating advice forum...but it does seem some guys need a little bit of education.

Your Miss Right WILL come along and when she does....Bubb's post will seem a little odd to you too.

I've got to say 'thank you'!!

[slater14]

I've got to say 'thank you'!!

Hiya Mags,

slater14 is getting mighty embarrased by these compliments

I think we need a word or two from Charlie the Tramp.....

Charlie's generation didnt see anything unique in my situation indeed, it was the norm.

What changed?

Charlie....any thoughts?

P.S. lets not forget I AM a landlord so must always be hated a little bit....its the rules

[theChuz]

Hiya Chuz,

What were you going to insinuate??? Please do let me know...even if its by PM. I respect your posts so I know it wouldnt hurt me that much - we're all grown ups arent we. I can take it

I couldnt find ways of phrasing stuff in a way that wasnt bang out of order, i was trying to use examples along the lines of ... you've been with your gf since you were 16 and women like the romantic-ness of it but for all they know you could be beating your gf or mentally controlling/abusing her which would kinda destroy the romantism. Of course i dont think that of you at all! but i couldnt find a way of saying it properly without it comming across as some weird type of alligation so i figured what i had to say wasnt worth it if it would be interpreted wronly.

Oh and Mags, im 27

[slater14]

I couldnt find ways of phrasing stuff in a way that wasnt bang out of order, i was trying to use examples along the lines of ... you've been with your gf since you were 16 and women like the romantic-ness of it but for all they know you could be beating your gf or mentally controlling/abusing her which would kinda destroy the romantism. Of course i dont think that of you at all! but i couldnt find a way of saying it properly without it comming across as some weird type of alligation so i figured what i had to say wasnt worth it if it would be interpreted wronly.

Oh and Mags, im 27

No, its a good point to make. I dont beat her and like to think our relationship is fair (apart from I probably hog the TV remote a little bit more than I should) but what you say is totally valid.

Seriously Chuz, when you find Miss Right you'll see what I mean.

Why havent you had a gf since 15? I presume there has been flings or other 'encounters' from 15 to 27?

[miro2021]

A bit of perspective please

I think slaters case is a little atypical he has literally grown up with her and the fortunes he has made he has made whilst being with her and no doubt supported in many ways. Plus as an example if i had 2 million that a woman has helped me achieve by making sacrafices herself then i would happily give her a million. After all she has earnt it along side me and i can quite happily live with *just* a million in the bank.

Its a little different to compare that to a man or woman who has already established themsevles before they even knew thier partner existed.

Absoulutely. And as slater14 said, the kind of relationship where a couple get together young and establish themselves together as a team used to be the norm. Now it's quite usual for couples to get together later in life and as you say one or other may have established themselves long before they met. But in this case the beauty of this 'non-nuptial' agreement is that is needn't be 50/50 like Slater14s arrangement - you can 'make up' your own rules to suit your own circumstances.

[miro2021]

Karen:

Any man to treat me with that much love and respect would get the best loven' I could give (and I mean that both inside and outside the bedroom).

theChuz:

Love and respect defined by the giving of money in a split and of course the obligatory mention of sex as payment for giving of money.

I dont mean to be antagonistic but for me after the conversation had taken 2 steps fowards its now just taken a step back.

I think what Karen was trying to point out was the irony in the situation. By making his partner financially independent of him slater14 has probably done one of the most likely things to make her want to stay forever!

A beautiful example of love and respect which has been inspired instead of demanded. So much more valuable in my opinion.

Only if the partners are independent of each other can you be really certain that what holds them together is love.

[Mags]

A beautiful example of love and respect which has been inspired instead of demanded. So much more valuable in my opinion.

Only if the partners are independent of each other can you be really certain that what holds them together is love.

Absolutely perfectly put

[slater14]

Karen:

theChuz:

I think what Karen was trying to point out was the irony in the situation. By making his partner financially independent of him slater14 has probably done one of the most likely things to make her want to stay forever!

A beautiful example of love and respect which has been inspired instead of demanded. So much more valuable in my opinion.

Only if the partners are independent of each other can you be really certain that what holds them together is love.

I'll be wandering around thinking I'm Bradd Pitt or something from now on

You really did sum it up perfectly. Thats exactly what I mean.

I'd hate to think the only reason a person would want to be around me was because they were (finacially) afraid to leave me. How could I find out if my gf REALLY wanted to be with me?....by opening the financial door and letting her decide if she wanted to fly way or stay.

....I'm happy to say, she wants to stay.

and if she decides at some later stage she doesnt, thats cool as well. I'd rather she was happy with someone else than stay with me and be unhappy.

[Guest Winners and Losers]

Beauty, Intelligence & Heart ....... You are right - I've never met a women who had them all !!

That's because you haven't met WAL.

[Mags]

That's because you haven't met WAL.

[okonu]

I was much better off than my wife when we met.

First thing we did after marriage was put 10k in an account for her - because it is important to have "me" money, so she wouldn't know how much I spent on some things, and vice versa...

After couple of years, we just found it wasn't necessary any more.

First year of marriage was tough - I married late (30) and was used to doing things a certain way. We are from very different cultures (she is javanese muslim albeit educated in Canada, I am public school/ oxbridge)

But, yes, she made me what I am. I knew very soon I would be with her for rest of my life. Only downside is no kids yet, and unlikely to happen for biological reasons. IVF is just too traumatic, so if we have no kids - yes, it will be a blow, I really want them, but am happy anyway. On the bright side - if we don't have children, we'll be able to retire much earlier, and spend more time together.

To be fair, there were 4 other women that I could have married and been happy with. Timing was just wrong - and I have had a very mobile life and career, which is a tough one to share in some ways. Works with her because we are both rootless, half asian and half western in outlook.

[Mags]

I was much better off than my wife when we met.

First thing we did after marriage was put 10k in an account for her - because it is important to have "me" money, so she wouldn't know how much I spent on some things, and vice versa...

After couple of years, we just found it wasn't necessary any more.

First year of marriage was tough - I married late (30) and was used to doing things a certain way. We are from very different cultures (she is javanese muslim albeit educated in Canada, I am public school/ oxbridge)

But, yes, she made me what I am. I knew very soon I would be with her for rest of my life. Only downside is no kids yet, and unlikely to happen for biological reasons. IVF is just too traumatic, so if we have no kids - yes, it will be a blow, I really want them, but am happy anyway. On the bright side - if we don't have children, we'll be able to retire much earlier, and spend more time together.

To be fair, there were 4 other women that I could have married and been happy with. Timing was just wrong - and I have had a very mobile life and career, which is a tough one to share in some ways. Works with her because we are both rootless, half asian and half western in outlook.

I don't mean to offer an opinion when you're not looking for one but... I have two friends who were told that there was nothing that could be done and they would definitely not be able to have children and both of them found an excellent, well-qualified homeopath. Both are now parents. Watching what they went through made me decide that if ever I was in that position I'd use homeopathy as a first, not last resort. I admire you for looking on the bright side though! Lots of luck to you

[Guest Winners and Losers]

I was much better off than my wife when we met.

First thing we did after marriage was put 10k in an account for her - because it is important to have "me" money, so she wouldn't know how much I spent on some things, and vice versa...

After couple of years, we just found it wasn't necessary any more.

First year of marriage was tough - I married late (30) and was used to doing things a certain way. We are from very different cultures (she is javanese muslim albeit educated in Canada, I am public school/ oxbridge)

But, yes, she made me what I am. I knew very soon I would be with her for rest of my life. Only downside is no kids yet, and unlikely to happen for biological reasons. IVF is just too traumatic, so if we have no kids - yes, it will be a blow, I really want them, but am happy anyway. On the bright side - if we don't have children, we'll be able to retire much earlier, and spend more time together.

To be fair, there were 4 other women that I could have married and been happy with. Timing was just wrong - and I have had a very mobile life and career, which is a tough one to share in some ways. Works with her because we are both rootless, half asian and half western in outlook.

I wish someone would give me 10k of 'me' money. :angry:

In relation to IVF, quite often people go through all the trauma and expense of it and still do not have success, only to fall pregnant naturally later on. Keep practising! Human beings are actually quite inefficient reproducers compared to other species. It is alot harder than people realise getting all the right things happening at the right time. Good luck. I hope you come back soon and post that baby Okonu is on the way!

[ʎqɐqɹǝʞɐɥs]

I wish someone would give me 10k of 'me' money. :angry:

In relation to IVF, quite often people go through all the trauma and expense of it and still do not have success, only to fall pregnant naturally later on. Keep practising! Human beings are actually quite inefficient reproducers compared to other species. It is alot harder than people realise getting all the right things happening at the right time. Good luck. I hope you come back soon and post that baby Okonu is on the way!

I'll give to a few big ones

And yes best of luck with Okonu baby.

[Guest Winners and Losers]

I'll give to a few big ones

And yes best of luck with Okonu baby.

I don't want your money honey, I want your love.

[ʎqɐqɹǝʞɐɥs]

I don't want your money honey, I want your love.

Thats what they ALL say.

Have you not read the great philosophies of Bruno

[Guest Winners and Losers]

Thats what they ALL say.

Have you not read the great philosophies of Bruno

He must know you?? "men lust for sex"

Btw - it was Transvision Vamp.

[winkie]

Only if the partners are independent of each other can you be really certain that what holds them together is love.

Why do people need to get married? We are all individuals, and don't need to be owned by one another. A wife isn't a possession and a husband isn't a meal ticket or security blanket. Love and respect hold people together, both equals in a healthy relationship, both supporting each other.

[ʎqɐqɹǝʞɐɥs]

Why do people need to get married? We are all individuals, and don't need to be owned by one another. A wife isn't a possession and a husband isn't a meal ticket or security blanket. Love and respect hold people together, both equals in a healthy relationship, both supporting each other.

Hear hear!

[Guest Winners and Losers]

Why do people need to get married?

I often ask myself the same question.