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Realistbear

Some Builders Practice Deception To Lure Buyers

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http://www.themovechannel.com/News/2006/February/2a.asp

Things must be very very desperate when trying to sell new houses:

Here is a list just some of the tricks NBI advise looking out for:
All the lights will be on to create the impression that there is plenty of natural light
Internal doors are removed to make the house appear bigger
Glass furniture and mirrors are installed to provide the feeling of greater space.
Fitted furniture may only be half the depth you would normally expect and smaller proportioned children’s furniture is commonly installed
Bedrooms may only have a bed and a bed-side table. Items such as chests of drawers and wardrobes may be missing
The fittings will undoubtedly be of a higher quality or not included in the standard specification
The garden will be professionally landscaped, which is either not in the specification, or will be to a far higher standard than the basic turf normally provided
Heaters are constantly on high, not to dry the house out but to lessen the time you will spend there
Receptionists will usually be young with voluptuous figures to entice single males and jaded husbands and are never included in the asking price
Edited by Realistbear

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salespersons are grown like bonsais specifically for the purpose of making the showhome appear larger. corgi cars are left on the drive to give the appearance of a country-residence sized approach road.

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This is another reason why 'lack of land' arguments make no sense. In the near future people will be genetically engineered to be smaller so we can fit more into the same amount of space.

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This is another reason why 'lack of land' arguments make no sense. In the near future people will be genetically engineered to be smaller so we can fit more into the same amount of space.

Ronnie Corbett was an early prototype.

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My other half has connections in the building industry.

One developer he knows of has "special" furniture that is used in the homes he sells. Everything has been made 75% of the real size (beds, tables, dining chairs, sitting room furniture) and is moved from one property to the next as they go on sale.

I had the "pleasure" of attending an opening do for one of these, and didn't notice anything odd until it was pointed out to me. Since the furniture looks very expensive and everyone is taken on a guided tour of the new homes, it is unlikely anyone will try it out!

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Guest Bart of Darkness
Receptionists will usually be young with voluptuous figures to entice single males and jaded husbands and are never included in the asking price

Try to haggle!

salespersons are grown like bonsais specifically for the purpose of making the showhome appear larger. corgi cars are left on the drive to give the appearance of a country-residence sized approach road.

:lol::lol::lol:

Surely some of these tricks must leave you thinking that you're starring in a remake of Attack of the 50 Foot Woman or Village of the Giants (an early role for Ron Howard).

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This is another reason why 'lack of land' arguments make no sense. In the near future people will be genetically engineered to be smaller so we can fit more into the same amount of space.

Reminds me of "Get Em Out By Friday" by Genesis. Some amusing lyrics :-

JOHN PEBBLE OF STYX ENTERPRISES

"Get'em out by Friday!

You don't get paid till the last one's well on his way.

Get'em out by Friday!

It's important that we keep to schedule, there must be no delay."

MARK HALL OF STYX ENTERPRISES

(OTHERWISE KNOWN AS 'THE WINKLER')

"I represent a firm of gentlemen who recently purchased this

house and all the others in the road,

In the interest of humanity we've found a better place for you to go-go-go."

MRS. BARROW (A TENANT)

"Oh, no, this I can't believe,

Oh, Mary, they're asking us to leave."

MR. PEBBLE

"Get'em out by Friday!

I've told you before, 's good many gone if we let them stay.

And if it isn't easy,

You can squeeze a little grease and our troubles will soon run away."

MRS BARROW

"After all this time they ask us to leave,

And I told them we could pay double the rent.

I don't know why it seemed so funny,

Seeing as how they'd take more money.

The winkler called again, he came here this morning,

With four hundred pounds, and a photograph of the place he has found.

A block of flats with central heating.

I think we're going to find it hard."

MR. PEBBLE

"Now we've got them!

I've always said that cash cash cash can do anything well.

Work can be rewarding

When a flash of intuition is a gift that helps you excel-sell-sell."

MR. HALL

"Here we are in Harlow New Town, did you recognize your block across the square, over there,

Sadly since last time we've found we've had to raise

the rent again,

just a bit."

MRS. BARROW

"Oh, no, this I can't believe,

Oh, Mary, and we agreed to leave."

(a passage of time)

18/9/2012 T.V. FLASH ON ALL DIAL-A-PROGRAM SERVICES

This is an announcement from Genetic Control:

"It is my sad duty to inform you of a 4ft. restriction on humanoid height."

EXTRACT FROM CONVERSATION OF JOE ORDINARY IN LOCAL PUBORAMA

"I hear the directors of Genetic Control have been buying all the properties that have recently been sold, taking

risks oh so bold.

It's said now that people will be shorter in height,

they can fit twice as many in the same building site.

(they say it's alright),

Beginning with the tenants of the town of Harlow,

in the interest of humanity they've been told they must

go-go-go-go."

SIR JOHN DE PEBBLE OF UNITED BLACKSPRINGS INTERNATIONAL

"I think I've fixed a new deal

A dozen properties - we'll buy at five and sell at thirty four,

Some are still inhabited,

It's time to send the winkler to see them,

he'll have to work some more."

MEMO FROM SATIN PETER OF ROCK DEVELOPMENTS LTD.

With land in your hand you'll be happy on earth

Then invest in the Church for your heaven.

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don't forget that show homes on new developments are usually a few inches bigger length and breadth too compared to stndard houses / flats for sale .... cheap trick :rolleyes:

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My particular gripe in new builds is the shower--a cubicle that measures about 18 inches square. Move your arm up to wash your barnet and you shatter the glass. :angry:

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Fitted furniture may only be half the depth you would normally expect and smaller proportioned children’s furniture is commonly installed

This could only work if the builders have been really scungy on the ceiling height as well I would have thought

Receptionists will usually be young with voluptuous figures to entice single males and jaded husbands and are never included in the asking price

But then I forgot about the effect of a huge pair of knockers at the entrance :o

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I looked at a show home two weeks ago.

The 'master' bedroom had just a double bed in and nothing else, no fitted storage either.

Only after a couple of minutes did I realise that the double bed was actually only 5ft long and about one and a half times as wide as a single bed... in fact the whole room was only marginally larger than our King Size bed.

I pointed this out to the sales lady (who didn't have big knockers and had a weathered looking face) and she seemed less happy all of a sudden.

That pi55ed me off... they're all sweetness and niceties and then as soon as they get a whiff that you think their product is sh1t3 they want you out. Arseh0l3s the lot of them.

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I looked at a show home two weeks ago.

The 'master' bedroom had just a double bed in and nothing else, no fitted storage either.

Only after a couple of minutes did I realise that the double bed was actually only 5ft long and about one and a half times as wide as a single bed... in fact the whole room was only marginally larger than our King Size bed.

I pointed this out to the sales lady (who didn't have big knockers and had a weathered looking face) and she seemed less happy all of a sudden.

That pi55ed me off... they're all sweetness and niceties and then as soon as they get a whiff that you think their product is sh1t3 they want you out. Arseh0l3s the lot of them.

Are you seriously suggesting that the sales staff spend hours and hours talking to someone who clearly does not want to buy? The are paid to sell the properties and there is simply no point in them engaging with someone who has indicated they do not want to buy the property. I guess you'd prefer the conversation to go like this.

Salesperson: "Well what do you think? Would you like to look at the floors plans of other units?"

Aggrieved Non-Buyer: "I think the property is a great big steaming pile of elephant’s turds and I wouldn't live in it if it was the last habitable place on earth"

Salesperson: "That's great. So lets start looking at the specification and I’ll talk you through the buying process. Have a seat, would you like a coffee? ...."

They are there to sell not to entertain you or to pander to your ego ("oh yes sir you are so strong and handsome and of course you are right the flat is a particularly inferior product. How insightful of you to notice, no one else has even realised, your intellect and common sense are truly genius. Oh how i wish I wasn't so close to retirement age and didn't have a face like a bulldog licking p*ss off a nettle as then I might just have had a chance of getting together with you and ... oh bliss.. have your children”)

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Interesting that at a time when car manufacturers are making models in each sector bigger, partly because folk are getting bigger, that new dwelling places should be getting smaller.

Don't know about others but I spend more time in my house than my car.

As a generalisation, people need space, the closer together you push them the more problems you get, individually and socially.

As for "special" furniture, that I consider misrepresentation at best even verging on fraud.

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My other half has connections in the building industry.

One developer he knows of has "special" furniture that is used in the homes he sells. Everything has been made 75% of the real size (beds, tables, dining chairs, sitting room furniture) and is moved from one property to the next as they go on sale.

I had the "pleasure" of attending an opening do for one of these, and didn't notice anything odd until it was pointed out to me. Since the furniture looks very expensive and everyone is taken on a guided tour of the new homes, it is unlikely anyone will try it out!

Offer 75% of the asking price...........even better don't bother.

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Look if people are stupid enough to fall for this sh!t the f**k em I say.

These are the 'must get on the ladder' types.

Depends, it just represents a lowering of standards which then becomes the new 'norm', try and find a new build with big rooms, high ceilings and big gardens, it'll be nearly impossible because of lax standards, density targets and the profit motive. However, go and look at a decent inter-war detached and it's the norm, land was cheap and expectant standards of living were actually an improvement, now we're being squeezed into Dickensian boxes that were the norm in the slums.

Edited by BuyingBear

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Depends, it just represents a lowering of standards which then becomes the new 'norm', try and find a new build with big rooms, high ceilings and big gardens, it'll be nearly impossible because of lax standards, density targets and the profit motive. However, go and look at a decent inter-war detached and it's the norm, land was cheap and expectant standards of living were actually an improvement, now we're being squeezed into Dickensian boxes that were the norm in the slums.

People are getting what they pay for in Brown's "Miracle Economy." Some think HPI is a good thing until they realize that the inflationary forces it has unleashed has down sized everything in terms of true value. Watch out for when the currency traders realise that the Miracle Chancellor has no clothes.

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  • 301 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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