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Gigantic Purple Slug

Is Hanging Up Fresh Towels the New "Twigs in Vase"

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4 hours ago, Gigantic Purple Slug said:

 

Use elite interior design techniques such as karate chopping your pillows to add thousands to the value of your house.

There are people that would never purchase a staged house, like they wouldn't want to eat in a staged restaurant.....plastic/artificial props....a price not worth paying.

.....prefer to go for the messy spacey but solid, lick of paint jobs......save yourself thousands for a few days decorating, some imagination and effort.

.....agree there are people who want it laid on a plate, all done for them, have no creativity, can't see past the end of their nose, or can't be bothered.......they pay the premium, saw them coming.;)

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Surely internal bodily fluids seeping through the ceilings would send the price to the direction most buyers would favour. 

Some "do not touch tape" over the bog lid to finish the effect.

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40 minutes ago, winkie said:

There are people that would never purchase a staged house, like they wouldn't want to eat in a staged restaurant.....plastic/artificial props....a price not worth paying.

.....prefer to go for the messy spacey but solid, lick of paint jobs......save yourself thousands for a few days decorating, some imagination and effort.

I said pretty much these exact words to an amateur shutterbug acquaintance who was trying to drum up some side business as a house photographer. He shouted me down for being negative and asked what did I know anyway because I rent.

Badly photoshopped grass on the lawns and extreme depth of field closeups of cooker knobs really gets me reaching for the chequebook (!)

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55 minutes ago, TonyJ said:

Staged houses are contrived. And they smack of sellers who want more than the house is worth, and are not willing to budge because they have gone to all the effort of staging.

They think they know what everyone wants.....how wrong can they be.;)

30 minutes ago, TonyJ said:

I love seeing houses with a photo of a bottle of champagne and two glasses on the garden table. Makes me want to puke.

....sick like.;)

25 minutes ago, Diver Dan said:

I said pretty much these exact words to an amateur shutterbug acquaintance who was trying to drum up some side business as a house photographer. He shouted me down for being negative and asked what did I know anyway because I rent.

Badly photoshopped grass on the lawns and extreme depth of field closeups of cooker knobs really gets me reaching for the chequebook (!)

Think they think they are being clever.....looks stupid.;)

 

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1 hour ago, longgone said:

Surely internal bodily fluids seeping through the ceilings would send the price to the direction most buyers would favour. 

Some "do not touch tape" over the bog lid to finish the effect.

Reminds me of the time we found a cckroach in the bathroom of our student house, years ago.

We put up a sign 'beware cckroaches' on the bathroom door, an in-joke for our consumption only...totally forgetting the viewing set to take place the next day.

Suffice to say they went elsewhere 😂

Aaah I'd forgotten about that!

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Surely it's all obvious stuff though. Clean the **** up before people come round and you'll make a better impression. Who wants to see your 3 week old towels all scrumpled up with dubious looking stains on.

How can this be a newspaper story are they desperate or what. 

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52 minutes ago, btd1981 said:

Reminds me of the time we found a cckroach in the bathroom of our student house, years ago.

We put up a sign 'beware cckroaches' on the bathroom door, an in-joke for our consumption only...totally forgetting the viewing set to take place the next day.

Suffice to say they went elsewhere 😂

Aaah I'd forgotten about that!

i viewed a house in woking once and the lovely female owner and her husband decided to leave her soiled knickers on top of the weighing scale in the bedroom. 

They were quite "Heavy" for the month.  😯

Viewed another one where the owner was literally the filthiest basteward you would every meet,  an inch of dust and hair all over the place brown stained toilets and sinks and muck and mold everywhere.  

I have viewed some disgusting places the owners don`t deserve to have a house. 

 

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12 hours ago, winkie said:

There are people that would never purchase a staged house, like they wouldn't want to eat in a staged restaurant.....plastic/artificial props....a price not worth paying.

.....prefer to go for the messy spacey but solid, lick of paint jobs......save yourself thousands for a few days decorating, some imagination and effort.

.....agree there are people who want it laid on a plate, all done for them, have no creativity, can't see past the end of their nose, or can't be bothered.......they pay the premium, saw them coming.;)

Can't beat seeing through the tired and dreary into the potential a place has. My view has always been I'd change a lot of decor regardless of condition so I'd sooner not pay the premium. 

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2 minutes ago, adarmo said:

Can't beat seeing through the tired and dreary into the potential a place has. My view has always been I'd change a lot of decor regardless of condition so I'd sooner not pay the premium. 

+1

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13 hours ago, TonyJ said:

I love seeing houses with a photo of a bottle of champagne and two glasses on the garden table. Makes me want to puke.

Even better if they're on a sleek kitchen worktop - pref. granite - with absolutely nothing else visible except for an artistically arranged artisan bowl of limes and lemons. It's 'lifestyle', innit? 

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2 hours ago, Mrs Bear said:

Even better if they're on a sleek kitchen worktop - pref. granite - with absolutely nothing else visible except for an artistically arranged artisan bowl of limes and lemons. It's 'lifestyle', innit? 

🤣😜  "Lifestyle" !!!  Ha!    What a cretinous, pretentious, useless word.

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I'm putting in a Krustie-style 'over offer' if I see big 3D letters on the walls that say such inspiring things like  'Relax' , 'Cook',  'Tranquillity' , 'Family' and 'Love' because without seeing those instructions on a hourly basis I would have no idea how to put one foot in front of the other, or cope with other human beings. Bonus points if they are painted silver or Chrome.

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No word of a lie my wife and I viewed a bungalow inhabited by the son of the owner which had a massive swastika flag hanging in the bedroom. It had a load of potential and we would have probably offered but the place stank more than an ash tray.

Edited by btd1981

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On 01/05/2018 at 12:33, Gigantic Purple Slug said:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-5677865/The-simple-tricks-persuade-buyers-offer-THOUSANDS-home.html

Use elite interior design techniques such as karate chopping your pillows to add thousands to the value of your house.

Hilarious

Quote

1. REMOVE THE TV 

No, no, no! That's from the Anne Maurice school of ludicrousness, that's not staging a house that's turning a living room into a nothing room. If there's no TV I would think (a) What kind of nutter lives here that doesn't have a TV and (b ) "there's no room for a TV".

You might as well put "Remove the oven from the kitchen because it makes it feel small".

 

from the comments:

Quote

Stiltjackie, Monmouthshire, United Kingdom, 1 week ago

I saw a property for sale once and in one of the bedroom photos there was clearly someone still in bed with the duvet pulled over their head.

LOL!

 

 

Edited by mrtickle

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  • 301 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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