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SillyBilly

Job Adverts

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Anyone find they're becoming increasingly ridiculous, particularly relative to the wage offered? Sign of the labour market slack? I often have a read just to see what is out there and I am definitely becoming fonder of my existing employer! I just stumbled across one for a £35k job (for the right person) and the below is approximately half of the advert (the other half is the responsibilities the candidate would be expected to take on). No mention of benefits or anything else or what the company can offer someone in development or training. In the below example, seems bizarre someone could tick everything but fall down on not having a Fork Lift Truck Licence or having done a "train the trainer" course? Could do most jobs I read with my eyes closed no doubt but seems the lists are so often written to match the exact qualifications/experience of the vacated party. Some of the qualification requirements for jobs (which I have under my belt too) I can't believe are included, generally the sorts of crap courses you waste half a day on being taught how to suck eggs and being trained by a right wally in the process!

To be considered for this role you will be/have:

 NEBOSH qualified or an equivalent,

• a minimum of 3 years experience in a Health, Safety and Environment role within a manufacturing site at a minimum of Advisor level

• ISO9001 experience

• An Internal Quality Auditor qualification.

• Commercially aware with a practical business mind.

• Skilled at writing policies and procedures.

• Able to prepare reports.

• IT literate.

• Degree level education

• Previous experience as a Supervisor/First Line Manager.

• Member of IOSH

•Additional incident investigation training courses/qualifications completed.

• Qualified and experienced First Aider.

• Completed a presentation skills course.

• Completed a 'train the trainer’ course.

• Experienced in designing and delivering 'tool box talks’ Personal Attributes and Characteristics

• Real team player who can build and maintain internal and external relationships.

• Approachable, positive, friendly attitude.

• Able to remain calm in an emergency.

• Keen eye for detail.

• Confident, motivated and enthusiastic about HSE.

• Ability to analyse and make sense of complex information.

• Ability to make significant decisions in a timely manner, challenging when appropriate.

• Articulate presenter, clear, interesting, able to deliver practical training that makes a difference.

• Excellent written and oral English communication skills.

• Problem Solving skills.

• Able to influence others positively.

• Able to inspire and motivate others.

• Able to work with minimal direction

• Effective personal organisational skills.

• Committed to own CPD.

• An investigative mind.

• An interest in the law.

• Hobbies or interests that mean working with others collaboratively.

• Has held positions of responsibility in or outside of work.

• A flexible approach to work.

• FLT truck licence.

•  Full UK Driving Licence

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I've seen job adverts like these as well, I'm suspect, in the case of larger companies at least, is that a project or manager wants to recruit a specific person, either internally or externally, but the company has a policy of all vacancies having to be advertised, so the manager who wants the specific person sits down with him and writes a job description around him specifically, which then gets translated into an advert with all sorts of seemingly outlandish requirements - the whole point is that there is only one person who fits all the requirements, and they already know who he is and whose going to get the job.

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I remember a small local firm ( 8 employees)who wanted a clerk on NMW, they advertised that the candidate should also be a fluent French speaker.

 

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1 hour ago, stevemo said:

I've seen job adverts like these as well, I'm suspect, in the case of larger companies at least, is that a project or manager wants to recruit a specific person, either internally or externally, but the company has a policy of all vacancies having to be advertised, so the manager who wants the specific person sits down with him and writes a job description around him specifically, which then gets translated into an advert with all sorts of seemingly outlandish requirements - the whole point is that there is only one person who fits all the requirements, and they already know who he is and whose going to get the job.

I can understand in that case but in this instance it said it was a family firm (in a provincial market town) so don't think this applies. Generally the hurdles just seem to be increasing, it does frustrate me somewhat that in my industry one tends to need dozens of qualifications in how to tie shoelaces to get a foot in these days. I've had to pay to do some of these tickbox exercises in my own time where an employer wouldn't offer it, - you need all the paperwork to show you're a "competent" person, irrespective of whether you're a buffon or not. A lot of the courses/exams I've been on/taken...well I'd be surprised if a single person had ever failed, only a handful have value (those that aren't just money making schemes forctraining providers).

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'Tis very true. Some of the adverts for even basic jobs are unbelievable. Just line after line of (often misspelled) gibberish. I put it down to the fact that we're on to 2nd generation loons now. I used to ace interviews by telling the employer what they wanted to hear. Now I've no idea what they want - they don't seem to know themselves. Microchips soon, folks.

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My biggest gripe re: job adverts are those that don't advertise any sort of salary details or other benefits such as annual leave allowance.

Makes it a waste of time applying IMO. As you could find yourself being offered the job only to find they not willing to pay anything near the level you may expect or actually need.

Although now semi-retired I stopped applying to any such type of advert a long time ago.

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Jobs now seem to want more and more now, for less and less salary.

 

It's amazing the unemployment rate is so low, yet the job market seems so dire (I'm in IT, supposedly and area with massive skill shortages, doesn't feel that way to me)

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On 10/01/2018 at 12:52 PM, anonguest said:

My biggest gripe re: job adverts are those that don't advertise any sort of salary details or other benefits such as annual leave allowance.

Makes it a waste of time applying IMO. As you could find yourself being offered the job only to find they not willing to pay anything near the level you may expect or actually need.

Although now semi-retired I stopped applying to any such type of advert a long time ago.

For these jobs they often don't want anyone to apply, the regulations around immigration state the job has to be advertised within the UK before they can bring in an immigrant.

When you scour the job boards there is a lot of chaff which nobody is ever going to apply for.

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Job applications - another thing that has got worse as I have got older!

Used to be that Friday's regional newspapers would carry supplements full of local vacancies placed by the companies themselves.

You would apply in writing direct, by post. Presumably now companies would get inundated with cut & paste CVs by email so don't have time to filter them.

Now everything goes through employment agencies - and you are now at the mercy of some of these people who think like, talk like and actually believe that the advert example given by the OP is some sort of magnet to the 'talent' out there.

They often have little idea who would be suitable for the job as they don't come from say an engineering background, the 'consultant' however wants to get their fee. Therefore you could find yourself culled at the first step by them (even though more than able to do it) or sent to an interview for a job that you are not suited for.

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One of the most complicated job application forms I ever filled in was for a lower paid operator role dealing at a with the reams of paperwork generated by Aviva (Norwich Union) about 7 years ago.

I wondered if they issued me with a form for a senior manager/director role in error? The wanted to know the ins and outs of a duck's bottom.

I didn't get invited to an interview.

 

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At the risk of, unintentionally, taking this thread off at a tangent......

More than one person has mentioned to me in passing conversation the apparent relatively recent trend for employers to provide references for, outgoing employees, that are absolutely minimal - almost to the point of being useless in that they provide no 'character' or 'performance' information whatsoever (i.e. little more than just confirming dates of employment).  The rationale apparently being supposed fear of possibel litigation.

Seems to me this infection of polictical correctness and irrational fear of litigation in HR departments could work to ones advantage?

I apply for a high powered high paid job (which I am confident I could bulsh*t my way into and actually do) at a company of interest.  The company naturally requests a reference from my current/most recent employer - and all they send on/supply is a de facto confirmation of my employment with them with absolutely no meaningful/insightful details about my duties or performance.

IF I get the new job AND indeed manage to keep my head above water then I'm a winner - doing a job that by rights I should not be doing.

 

Of course people have for ages been fraudulently getting jobs they are not qualified/experienced to do BUT they did so with considerable risk. Todays silly HR policies vis a vis supplying sterile and de facto useless references makes the task so much easier to accomplish.

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The fear of litigation thing is BS. People change jobs much more often than in the past, managers can't be bothered or simply don't have the time to write very much.

Also you have to consider the scenario where a crap or maybe just average employee applies for another job with a competitor - the old boss is only too happy to write a glowing reference, they get rid of a low performer. So a lot of hiring managers don't put much store in references: if it confirms that they worked in the job as claimed on the CV thats really all they care about.

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more lunacy 

 

Job Summary

Full-time, Permanent IT System Administrator

Due to the rapid expansion of the company, an opportunity has arisen within the Brookcourt engineering team for an additional full time system administrator.

The successful candidate will be required to be skilled with all areas of IT system administration including:

MCSE - Server Infrastructure

  • Installing and Configuring Windows Server
  • Configuring Advanced Windows Server Services
  • Designing and Implementing a Server Infrastructure
  • Implementing an Advanced Server Infrastructure
  • Patching
  • Server Virtualization with Windows Server Hyper-V and System Center
  • WSUS

MCSE – Exchange Server 2013

  • Designing and Deploying Microsoft Exchange Server
  • Core Solutions of Microsoft Exchange Server*

Microsoft SharePoint Server 2013

  • Designing and Deploying Microsoft Sharepoint Server
  • Administration of Microsoft Sharepoint Server

MS Office 365

  • Set up new users
  • General administration duties

SalesForce CRM

  • Set up new users
  • General administration duties

Yealink Phone System

  • Set up new users
  • General administration duties*

Additionally

NG Firewalls

Routers

Switches

Proxy Server

Vulnerability Management

VPN

MDM

Authentication (2-Factor)

Certificates

VOIP

Wireless

SIEM

Backup Systems Online and Offline

The ideal candidate will also be required to carry out general desktop support duties including building new desktop / laptops from images and being responsible for updating images to support hardware changes.

Good knowledge of the following programs is essential:

  • Microsoft Excel
  • Microsoft Word
  • Microsoft PowerPoint
  • Microsoft Outlook
  • Knowledge of Sage Software is preferable

Applicants should possess exceptional interpersonal and organization skills as well as a minimum of 5 years’ experience working in a busy engineering environment.

Must be within 30 minutes travel of our office in Redhill, Surrey.

Job Type: Permenant, Full-time

Salary: £35,000.00

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^ Thats a perfect example of a job which doesnt really exist. It's been written copy/pasted by some recruiter who just wants to harvest a bunch of CV's and so is throwing as wide a net as possible.

From the recruiters point of view someone who responds to that is the ideal punter - they can be put forward for just about any job, after all "every IT job is more or less the same"

There is a good side to this, it tells you they are short of applicants.

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  • 406 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
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      • Even
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