Jump to content
House Price Crash Forum

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

juvenal

You Stinking Lawbreakers!

Recommended Posts

I put my hands up. Caught by speed cameras doing 37 mph in a 30 mph area.

Now sentenced to the Driver's Awareness Course. £110 a ticket.

The Notes accompanying day, time and venue directions are curious...

'Attendees should conduct themselves in a respectful manner...course attendees are responsible for their personal hygiene and general presentation. Sometimes the poor hygiene of one individual can adversely affect other course attendees'......

Has some research project discovered a higher incidence of sweaty feet, bad breath, uncontrollable flatulence etc among speeding drivers than in the populace at large? 

Do the Audi drivers who roar past me daily sit in a miasmic stench of halitotic exhalations and reeking armpits?

Would an invite to join Neighbourhood Watch or to attend a Police Open Day contain such strictures? 

Or an interview letter for the role of Police and Crime Commissioner?

What prompted these stern instructions?

 

Respectfully submissive; showered, suited and reeking of Stallion - for Real Men,  I await my appointment day....

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Those things strike me as being a bit like a make-work scheme for people. There's a vast difference between people who ignore speed limits all the time and those who make a mistake.

Although I do drive quite fast, I do try to keep it to 30 in a 30mph limit but it's by no means impossible for me to get caught in the same way as you, especially in ridiculous places like Blackpool where for whatever reason the quality of the driving from the locals is so monstrously appalling that the speeds have to be limited for their own safety by making all roads 30 zones even when the road is wide and has very good visibility. I say that as someone who lived there for a few years and observed countless people driving through red traffic lights as if it's some sort of local custom.

The wording you speak of is very odd. Almost as if every other attendee resembles Worzel Gummidge.

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
8 minutes ago, juvenal said:

I put my hands up. Caught by speed cameras doing 37 mph in a 30 mph area.

Now sentenced to the Driver's Awareness Course. £110 a ticket.

The Notes accompanying day, time and venue directions are curious...

'Attendees should conduct themselves in a respectful manner...course attendees are responsible for their personal hygiene and general presentation. Sometimes the poor hygiene of one individual can adversely affect other course attendees'......

Has some research project discovered a higher incidence of sweaty feet, bad breath, uncontrollable flatulence etc among speeding drivers than in the populace at large? 

Do the Audi drivers who roar past me daily sit in a miasmic stench of halitotic exhalations and reeking armpits?

Would an invite to join Neighbourhood Watch or to attend a Police Open Day contain such strictures? 

Or an interview letter for the role of Police and Crime Commissioner?

What prompted these stern instructions?

 

Respectfully submissive; showered, suited and reeking of Stallion - for Real Men,  I await my appointment day....

I’m afraid the strictures may have been caused by the late Daft Boy. Some years ago, he was caught doing 65 in a 50 zone in Southampton. He was rushing as he had problems with his catheter. Sentenced to the dreaded D. A. C., he attended, ostentatiously carrying his pee bag, with tube disappearing into his half-open flies. No one said a word. ???

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Famous smelly speed limit breakers, Volume 1

1) B.O. Duke

eacec2f636be7714bea1d1bbdca1324e.jpg

2) Michael Schurotter

220px-Schumacher_china_2012.jpg

3) Loo-is Hamilton

220px-Lewis_Hamilton_2016_Malaysia_2.jpg

4) Ayrton Sennacots

250px-Ayrton_Senna_8_(cropped).jpg

5) Kimi Reekkonen

280px-Kimi_Raikkonen_2016_Malaysia.jpg

6) Emmerson Fartypaldi

220px-Emerson_Fittipaldi.jpg

7) Tierry (Please put your) Boutsen

220px-1985_European_GP_Boutsen.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Was talking to someone in the pub a couple of years ago who had just been on one, and insisted on the speed limit for a car on a dual carriageway being 60 mph. Thought it was 70 he said, but nope, been told on the course it was 60. So some running those courses don't even know what the speed limit is. Another one I heard was from someone with a website with various pictures of roads on it (don't ask), he was sent on one only to see them using a load of pictures they'd nicked from his site.

Think I'd rather take the points than be patronised by some clueless cretin. Any safety message about sticking with speed limits has been heavily diluted by the plague of reductions that's spread through the country in the lat 15 or so years anyway, it's become far more about rule enforcement for the sake of it than anything else.

(clean driving licence BTW)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
9 hours ago, Qetesuesi said:

Juvenal, are you saying that they haven't given you the option of taking points?

Yes, I did get that option, but foolishly thought the Awareness Course would at least involve some civility. Perhaps even a drink-up afterwards with the instructors.

Instead I feel branded as some sort of reeking and abusive troublemaker, inclined to drunkeness and clad in an offensive T shirt. The Course Notes also cover these areas.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I went on one and thought it was extremely patronising, run by a real life Arnold Rimmer.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, Si1 said:

I went on one and thought it was extremely patronising, run by a real life Arnold Rimmer.

+1. In fact Arnold Rimmer believing himself to be Peter Kay. Truly nauseating and I swore afterwards I'd just take the points next time I get pulled for speeding. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 05/10/2017 at 5:15 PM, juvenal said:

Caught by speed cameras doing 37 mph in a 30 mph area.

This was exactly the speed I was doing when I was caught by a speed camera in June 2008 (the first and only time to date). Ironically in a slow-ish car. I paid £70 for the priviledge of attending the driver's awareness course.

Nothing about personal hygeine in my letter though.

The main thing I took from the course is how expensive RTAs are to the taxpayer. Tens of thousands of pounds to the taxpayer for the emergency services to attend one.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
13 minutes ago, MattW said:

I paid £70 for the priviledge of attending the driver's awareness course.

Nothing about personal hygeine in my letter though.

 

Looking back, I take it there was nothing in the course leader's demeanor to suggest the clauses may have been introduced immediately after your attendance?

:P

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Nothing about personal hygeine in my letter though, posts Matt W, giving me food for thought.

Has a passive resistance movement emerged among us speed-crazed DAC attendees? 

An outbreak of offensively logo'd and long-unwashed tee-shirts worn by smirking men exuding dumb insolence?

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Why shouldn't you display passive resistance? What kind of punishment is simultaneously worth the name and enjoyable? (don't answer that TMT).

Whatever next? Refuse prisoners release unless they rate 'The Scrubs' five stars on Trip Advisor?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My plan on DAC day is to be craven and obsequious to a degree unacceptable even in Pantomime. I'm practicing hand-wringing remorse...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Years ago I saw a bloke hit and killed by a Vauxhall Cavalier Mk 2 on A4 going westwards out of London.  Car was a sort of terracotta browny red colour which was very popular for some reason. Never forgotten it. The car was doing 40 at the time, in a 40 zone. Guy killed instantly but cops and ambulance reckoned he would have lived if hit at lower speed. No way the driver's fault but I imagine he has never forgotten it either. Doing more than 30 in a 30 zone you might as well just say I.Dont.Care.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I went on one two years ago, i did post at the the time about being clocked in a 40 zone with no pedestrians possible and motorway standard carriageway

Nothing about personal hygiene in my letter but i was the only one on the course who knew that street lights meant 30mph zone

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 10/5/2017 at 5:15 PM, juvenal said:

I put my hands up. Caught by speed cameras doing 37 mph in a 30 mph area.

Now sentenced to the Driver's Awareness Course. £110 a ticket.

The Notes accompanying day, time and venue directions are curious...

'Attendees should conduct themselves in a respectful manner...course attendees are responsible for their personal hygiene and general presentation. Sometimes the poor hygiene of one individual can adversely affect other course attendees'......

Has some research project discovered a higher incidence of sweaty feet, bad breath, uncontrollable flatulence etc among speeding drivers than in the populace at large? 

Do the Audi drivers who roar past me daily sit in a miasmic stench of halitotic exhalations and reeking armpits?

Would an invite to join Neighbourhood Watch or to attend a Police Open Day contain such strictures? 

Or an interview letter for the role of Police and Crime Commissioner?

What prompted these stern instructions?

 

Respectfully submissive; showered, suited and reeking of Stallion - for Real Men,  I await my appointment day....

 

Was that in Scotland? :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • 292 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.