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libitina

Ode To A Haggis

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Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,

Great chieftain o' the pudding-race!

Aboon them a' yet tak your place,

Painch, tripe, or thairm:

Weel are ye wordy o'a grace

As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,

Your hurdies like a distant hill,

Your pin was help to mend a mill

In time o'need,

While thro' your pores the dews distil

Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,

An' cut you up wi' ready sleight,

Trenching your gushing entrails bright,

Like ony ditch;

And then, O what a glorious sight,

Warm-reekin', rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an' strive:

Deil tak the hindmost! on they drive,

Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve

Are bent like drums;

Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,

Bethankit! hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout

Or olio that wad staw a sow,

Or fricassee wad make her spew

Wi' perfect sconner,

Looks down wi' sneering, scornfu' view

On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,

As feckles as wither'd rash,

His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash;

His nieve a nit;

Thro' blody flood or field to dash,

O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,

The trembling earth resounds his tread.

Clap in his walie nieve a blade,

He'll mak it whissle;

An' legs an' arms, an' hands will sned,

Like taps o' trissle.

Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,

And dish them out their bill o' fare,

Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware

That jaups in luggies;

But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer

Gie her a haggis!

Translation please?

Make sure you've got yours for tomorrow.

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Braw?

(Yes, I'm a dumb Sassenach, but in my defence, my sister is moving to the north of Scotland soon, so I'll be able to begin my formal education then :D )

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You say that. In fact most people say that. But honestly, try one.

Also good in severe moderation are deep fried pizzas.

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Braw?

(Yes, I'm a dumb Sassenach, but in my defence, my sister is moving to the north of Scotland soon, so I'll be able to begin my formal education then :D )

As in "Jimmy's new burd wisnae very braw. In fact, she scared horses and children."

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Ode Tae A Fart

Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie

Lurks in your belly efter the feastie

Just as ye sit doon among yer kin

There sterts to stir an enormous wind

The neeps and tatties and mushy peas

Stert workin like a gentle breeze

But soon the puddin wi the sauncie face

Will have ye blawin all ower the place

Nae matter whit the hell ye dae

A'body's gonnae hiv tae pay

Even if ye try tae stifle

It's like a bullet oot a rifle

Hawd yer bum tight tae the chair

Tae try and stop the leakin air

Shifty yersel fae cheek tae cheek

Prae tae God it doesnae reek

But aw yer efforts go assunder

Oot it comes like a clap o thunder

Ricochets aroon the room

Michty me a sonic boom

God almighty it fairly reeks

Hope I huvnae **** my breeks

Tae the bog I better scurry

Aw whit the hell it's no ma worry

A'body roon aboot me chokin

Wan or two are nearly bokin

I'll feel better for a while

Cannae help but raise a smile

Wiz him! I shout with accusin glower

Alas too late, he's just keeled ower

Ye dirty ****** they shout and stare

A dinnae feel welcome any mair

Where e'ere ye go let yer wind gan’ free

Sounds like just the job fur me

Whit a fuss at rabbie's party

Ower the sake o one wee farty

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No. And I'm not eating anything called spotted dick either.

Spotted dick is very nice, despite the name.

Think of a boiled pudding (E.g. Christmas pudding), but not so loaded. Really only currants and sultanas and a touch of spices added to the suet/flour/sugar base.

On a cold winter's evening eat hot after the roast with lashings of custard or cream . . . (* ajh snarls at his doctor's diet sheet on the fridge door *)

Haggis now, that's another matter. Even as an expatriate Scot I haven't been able to eat haggis once I found out what went into it.

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You say that. In fact most people say that. But honestly, try one.

Also good in severe moderation are deep fried pizzas.

The Ben Nevis (my new local) sell Haggis Burgers. Still to try one though.

Heres other ideas : http://www.haggis.co.nz/recipes.html

I recommend Haggis Balls for the HPC girls. :P:P:P:P

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As in "Jimmy's new burd wisnae very braw. In fact, she scared horses and children."

any idea where the word braw is derived from?

EDITED:

ahh possibly 'brave'

EDIT 2:

Yup brave it is

"Braw" - If something is "braw" it is excellent, as in the well worn music hall phrase "It's a braw, bricht, moonlicht nicht, the nicht". "Braw" is derived from "brave"

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My wife’s family come from Aberdeen,

It’s as through they speak another language up there.

“foot-like” (that’s what it sounds like anyway?) Means hello.

“greetings” means crying / grieving.

There are many more, I had a book on them, can’t find it now.

Anyway I thought 'Burns night' was on 25 January.

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  • 301 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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