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happy_renting

The Happy Renting Annual Xmas Charity Appeal

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It is the time of the year to launch my Annual Xmas Charity Appeal.

This year, it is Adopt-an-Ant.

Some facts about Ants:

  •  Most ants live in overcrowded homes with millions of other ants
  • They don't even know it's Christmas
  •  Many ants have never been to school, and few can read
  •  Many have lost limbs, and are down to 5 legs
  •  Most ants don't even know who their father is.
  •  Encouraged by older ants to work hard so they will be rewarded with honey, they eventually realise that ants don't make honey and they have been conned.

Your donation can make a difference to an orphan ant.

If you adopt an ant, you will receive:

  • A framed photo of your actual ant
  • A daily ant update, written by your ant, in antish, on really really tiny paper
  • Junk mail from other charites as you will be added to a suckers list

£99 will feed an ant for a week. Please give generously. Send your donations to me and I will pass them on.

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3 minutes ago, happy_renting said:

It is the time of the year to launch my Annual Xmas Charity Appeal.

This year, it is Adopt-an-Ant.

Some facts about Ants:

  •  Most ants live in overcrowded homes with millions of other ants
  • They don't even know it's Christmas
  •  Many ants have never been to school, and few can read
  •  Many have lost limbs, and are down to 5 legs
  •  Most ants don't even know who their father is.
  •  Encouraged by older ants to work hard so they will be rewarded with honey, they eventually realise that ants don't make honey and they have been conned.

Your donation can make a difference to an orphan ant.

If you adopt an ant, you will receive:

  • A framed photo of your actual ant
  • A daily ant update, written by your ant, in antish, on really really tiny paper
  • Junk mail from other charites as you will be added to a suckers list

£99 will feed an ant for a week. Please give generously. Send your donations to me and I will pass them on.

Anyone who doesn't pay should be threatened with being outed as a disgusting myrmecophobe. It is 2016!

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Adopt a disgusting parasite instead. They are misunderstood.

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11 minutes ago, The Generation Game said:

£99 per week is a bit steep. For that I could help a donkey, a child, a tiger, a dog and a dolphin for the best part of a whole year. 

I am MASSIVELY overpaying for mine.

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As long as it's not a bullet ant.

Strange guy lets himself be stung by insects...

 

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Do you accept huge oversized cheques, with a large company logo, filled in with a magic marker and handed over somewhere in the vicinity of a press photographer?

If so, I'II happily bully anyone who works for me into contributing to your ant charity.

 

 

 

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32 minutes ago, Reebo said:

As long as it's not a bullet ant.

Strange guy lets himself be stung by insects...

 

 

Why is Billy Connolly not in this video letting the ants tug at his beard?

I'm starting to suspect this may not even be a real charity.

 

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You know, I reckon you could get money from tree huggers for whaling, if the sales pitch was right.:o

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2 minutes ago, winkie said:

We are all ants in the scheme of things.;)

A lot of my ex partners smelled of formalin:mellow: I got out of he medical part business, and went into porn.

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1 hour ago, happy_renting said:

 

  •  Encouraged by older ants to work hard so they will be rewarded with honey, they eventually realise that ants don't make honey and they have been conned.

The little sods are good at invading hives though.

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4 minutes ago, MrPin said:

A lot of my ex partners smelled of formalin:mellow: I got out of he medical part business, and went into porn.

I'm confused now....will £2 a month cover it?;)

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6 minutes ago, winkie said:

I'm confused now....will £2 a month cover it?;)

That's two pound per inch, so we'll call it thirty quid then.:mellow:

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2 hours ago, SNACR said:

Do you accept huge oversized cheques, with a large company logo, filled in with a magic marker and handed over somewhere in the vicinity of a press photographer?

If so, I'II happily bully anyone who works for me into contributing to your ant charity.

 

 

 

Indeed I do. I am sure that bigshots like you carry around a gigantic chequebook all the time. If I had one, I would even use it ostentatiously in Tescos, and be photographed shaking hands with the checkout girl.

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99 quid a week gets me much more to fiddle with than an ant in Middlesbrough.

Perhaps it`s time to get with the times, and launch your annual adopt-a-street-ho appeal instead...

XYY

                                                                                                                  

The dog's kennel is not the place to keep a sausage - Danish Proverb

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46 minutes ago, happy_renting said:

If I had one, I would even use it ostentatiously in Tescos, and be photographed shaking hands with the checkout girl.

Tread with caution.  It seems to be the law in this country for Smiley Carol Smillie, or Tom Champagne, or Jimmy Saville to photobomb such situations, none of whom are sutable patrons for a bona fide charity such as yours.

£99 doesn't seem much for an ant-about-town to live on for a week btw; positively starvation rations. 

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51 minutes ago, whitevanman said:

Some of us go out of our way to help our antennaed friends but we don't feel the need to shout about it from the anthill tops.

I've frequently provided them with free boiling water piped directly into their homes.

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