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Sledgehead

The Shameless Monetization of Good Will Thread

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Basically anything 'created' or 'invented' because poor f**** like me feel duty bound to buy people presents at this time of year.

I'll kick off with what is doubtless a modern rarity (unless you go landfill mining):

Jamie Oliver Flavour Shaker

It bloomed for two short years, sinking with impressive speed to a 2.5 star rating on Amazon. I imagine aliens finding them buried deep at the back of, at that point, subterranean kitchen cabinets and, after  mounting them in anti-gravity display cases, displaying them at dinner parties as conversation curios. "What odd beings those humans must have been," they might chuckle to each other. "Truly stupid indeed!"

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Charity shops are full of useless one minute wonder gadgets like this.....what's wrong with a normal recycled  jam jar with screw lid, can also do a great cocktail with a shake, vase for flowers or a candle, handy for making jam, marvelous storage utensil.;)

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List me the gadgets I do not yet possess, for they shall all be mine.

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3 hours ago, Sledgehead said:

Basically anything 'created' or 'invented' because poor f**** like me feel duty bound to buy people presents at this time of year.

I'll kick off with what is doubtless a modern rarity (unless you go landfill mining):

Jamie Oliver Flavour Shaker

It bloomed for two short years, sinking with impressive speed to a 2.5 star rating on Amazon. I imagine aliens finding them buried deep at the back of, at that point, subterranean kitchen cabinets and, after  mounting them in anti-gravity display cases, displaying them at dinner parties as conversation curios. "What odd beings those humans must have been," they might chuckle to each other. "Truly stupid indeed!"

Ha ha! I remember the flavour shaker.

You can imagine the group meeting:

'We need to cash in on Jamie's fame with a marketable consumer product. Any ideas? Any sh*te will do as long as it goes in a kitchen and we can put Jamie's name on it.'

And so it came to pass, and every time TV showed Jamie in a kitchen he was using this pointless bit of tat. The funny thing was the clear embarrassment in his voice every time he said 'flavour shaker' and the expression on his face every time he used it - 'have I really sunk to this?'

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Thread crashed, but I'm actually waiting for landfill mining to become a legitimate industry.

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2 hours ago, chronyx said:

Thread crashed, but I'm actually waiting for landfill mining to become a legitimate industry.

Imagine their faces 10,000 years from now when they unearth a deposit of 500 cheese fondue sets.

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or Amstrad Emailers ...

alan-sugar-amstrad-emailer.jpg

... ah yes, that Jamie Oliver Flavour Shaker expression, tinged with an unmistakable touch of  "get me out of here, i want to become a celebrity..."

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14 hours ago, chronyx said:

Thread crashed, but I'm actually waiting for landfill mining to become a legitimate industry.

I read a science fiction series a while back (Kim Stanley Robinson's Red / Green / Blue Mars, defintely worth a read), one of the characters in that was the boss of a firm that did just that.

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3 hours ago, Riedquat said:

I read a science fiction series a while back (Kim Stanley Robinson's Red / Green / Blue Mars, defintely worth a read), one of the characters in that was the boss of a firm that did just that.

Sounds good, I'll get hold of them

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4 hours ago, 200p said:

The flavour shakers are rare and collectible.

Quick this one has already got six bids on it

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Jamie-Oliver-Flavour-shaker-Foodie-Stocking-Filler-/291969284787?hash=item43fab9bab3:g:oHIAAOSw5cNYTZUO

Love the way they describe it : Foodie Stocking Filler

That's thinly veiled code for f*** useless.

Same as "the ideal gift", a marketing phrase not without merit, imparting as it does, the explicit notion that one is perusing an item one will want to be rid of at the earliest opportunity

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That first one, the garlic peeler, I've had one of those and it's genuinely brilliant. 

Also had the egg/toast makers, well the tefal version which only did one egg at a time. I think I used it once to do an egg and that was it, was perfectly functional as a toaster though. 

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12 minutes ago, gilf said:

That first one, the garlic peeler, I've had one of those and it's genuinely brilliant. 

Also had the egg/toast makers, well the tefal version which only did one egg at a time. I think I used it once to do an egg and that was it, was perfectly functional as a toaster though. 

It is ok.....but you do not have to buy and store it when so easy to peel a clove of garlic anyway...can even use the useful jam jar if it all becomes too much.;)

 

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I'd quite like the meatloaf pan thing - looks really good for browning the bottom of meat. Also, the roller pour thing looks like it would be good for people with parkinsons and with various other medical issues - I have some weakness in my right arm, luckily I'm fairly ambidextrous so can use my left arm, most people would have severe problems though.

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5 minutes ago, winkie said:

It is ok.....but you do not have to buy and store it when so easy to peel a clove of garlic anyway...can even use the useful jam jar if it all becomes too much.;)

 

Again, you're assuming that everyone is able bodied.

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4 minutes ago, This time said:

I'd quite like the meatloaf pan thing - looks really good for browning the bottom of meat. Also, the roller pour thing looks like it would be good for people with parkinsons and with various other medical issues - I have some weakness in my right arm, luckily I'm fairly ambidextrous so can use my left arm, most people would have severe problems though.

Fine, but how many people actually regularly make meat loafs?......a piece of grease proof paper folded over long side of ordinary loaf tin would see the loaf does not stick, easy to remove and will still brown, any excess juice can be poured away, during or at end of cooking......the roller pour has a tipping point where if not careful all the liquid could well be poured everywhere....I understand large heavy containers of liquid might be difficult for certain people to lift and pour.

2 minutes ago, This time said:

Again, you're assuming that everyone is able bodied.

Tell me what other gadgets you use regularly and find useful....genuinely interested.;)

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On 12/16/2016 at 4:18 PM, This time said:

Again, you're assuming that everyone is able bodied.

Thats the thing with that rolling drink dispenser, looks stupid but I think it would be a god send to some people who were unable to lift heavy bottles. I suspect it was designed specifically for that single purpose.

I'm not saying it to be argumentative, but that jam jar method is way less efficient than the garlic peeler. The thing with these sorts of gadgets is that they actually are really good at what they do, but they are so very very specific they just take up space and hardly get used. 

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I can confirm the garlic jam jar technique doesn't work. Or at least it didn't in the 2 mins I tried it before I got bored and I figured I could hand peel them quicker. 

I have an egg microwaver. Perfect if you just want a single part-boiled egg. 59p from Aldi earlier in the year. Gets used at least twice a week. 

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On 12/16/2016 at 4:11 PM, winkie said:

It is ok.....but you do not have to buy and store it when so easy to peel a clove of garlic anyway...can even use the useful jam jar if it all becomes too much.;)

 

Whilst the central claim (peeling) may well be true PLEASE BE CAREFUL if you intend to store your peeled garlic.

Freeze them by all means. The worst that can happen is those blueberry muffins you also put in th efreezer (in close proximity to the garlic) end up tasting, well, garlicie (yuk).

PLEASE do not use oil as a 'presevative'. Oil will exclude oxygen. That's the point. HOWEVER, this leads to the very real threat of BOTULISM.

Be Aware of the Risks of Botulism With Homemade Garlic-Infused Oil

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On 16/12/2016 at 2:54 PM, chronyx said:

Sounds good, I'll get hold of them

If the mining old landfills bit is the bit that interest you I should probably point out that he's not a particularly major character, and that that's more his background than anything he gets up to in the books.

I'll still recommend them though.

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