Dyslexia

[choochoo]

At the risk of turning off-topic into an agony aunt forum or Mumsnet, I'm also going to ask for advice from the crowd since you've offered so many informative and kind words to the cancer and divorce threads.

My 8 year old daughter has just been confirmed as having dyslexia. It hasn't come as a surprise as it's become increasingly apparent over the last 12-18 months that something wasn't quite right. We've read all the blurb, heard the spiel that it's manageable and that x, y and z famous people have it, but nothing we've actually seen helps explain what it actually feels like to have dyslexia.

We need to sit down and explain this to her, probably after Xmas and to be honest nothing I've read is really helping me feel informed enough to help her.

Does anyone have any experience of living with dyslexia or have children with dyslexia? Any tips, experiences or advice you wouldn't mind sharing?

[raindog]

I have worked with many people in the technical (software development) field who were very successful and had dyslexia.

One of my technical directors, a guy who basically oversaw and ran 12 or so programmers was badly dyslexic but had worked in the industry for 30 or so years. It never held him back. Great guy, bit of a genius, and he had been instrumental in writing some of the code of some of the very best videogames in the 90's.

Another instance was a good friend who was dyslexic did his English Literature degree. He loved reading and got a good grade if i remember correctly.

Apologies that this doesn't really answer your question but felt it was just something positive to add.

 

[winkie]

The human body is wonderful thing......what it lacks in one thing it makes up twofold in another.....intelligence shows itself in all forms and wonders.....some talents and gifts can be replaced by technology others never will.

[DTMark]

IIRC both Agatha Christie and Richard Branson were/are dyslexic and it certainly didn't hold them back.

I know someone who is dyslexic very well. Now in later life, he still carries some "baggage" from childhood. He's actually clever - indeed I think I recall reading that dyslexics tend to be at least average if not above average intelligence, so it's not an impediment in that respect.

However school was not and perhaps is still not adjusted to dealing well with dyslexic people who need to learn a little differently, perhaps at a different pace; that they can feel inadequate around others who do not have the condition. This makes him rather risk averse and habit-prone. "I'll stick to things I know that I can do". In such cases the result is certain. He need not worry about failure - that's the "baggage".

The reading that I did suggested that the best approach may be a little "tough love" in that dyslexic children may need to be "pushed" a little harder rather than be made to think "It's OK, you're different, so the result or lack thereof does not matter, it is inly the trying that counts". So it may be a case of spending a bit more time with your daughter reviewing the day at school and helping her to learn in a way that she needs to. I don't think that there is a "standard formula".

Edit to clarify: this doesn't mean to admonish the child for not being able to comprehend 'as well as' their peers but it does mean not simply saying "Oh well, it's as much as can be expected" because as CP's post which came after mine makes clear, dyslexia is not an impediment to intelligence and some kind of drawback that means that success cannot be achieved - far from it.

[CunningPlan]

My youngest was diagnosed at about the same age. He is now 14.

The negatives can be overcome. First you need to understand it. There is a website my son found (can't remember which but I will look for it) that demonstrated exactly how he sees words on a page - you will understand how hard it is for them to read when you look at what they see.

Our solution was to get him allowed to use a microsoft surface in lessons. (pick this because it is silent and doesn't draw attention) Before this, he was using so much concentration trying to read / write that there wasn't much left for absorbing information - and he was mentally knackered at the end of every day given the concentration levels he was trying to work at. After 2 years with the surface he is now starting his gcse's and forecasting excellent grades. 

Equally importantly, look for the positives. My son is oddly proud of his dyslexia since it comes with special skills. In his case, he has an ability to see things in three dimensions (if that makes sense) which gives him all sorts of problem solving abilities. He also sees/analyses things differently from most people and often comes up with much better solutions than conventional thinking would do. It may explain why so many dyslexics are successful in both creative arts and business.

Never look at dyslexia as a negative. The positives, if recognised and harnessed, can far outweigh the drawbacks. If you offered my son the chance to 'cure' his dyslexia, but that means losing his additional talents, he wouldn't take it.

 

 

[libspero]

IMO I wouldn't look at dyslexia as a "thing"..  think of it simply as an unbalanced IQ.

Where as the average person finds learning maths, english, science, languages more or less on a par with each other..  dyslexics tend to be disproportionately better at logic, reasoning, spacial awareness etc than they are at language based skills.

Basically,  you will probably have to spend a lot of time helping your kid with spelling and practicing reading and writing in a way that other kids might pick up a lot more quickly.

It is hard work for both the kid and the parent but it will pay off and they will (eventually) thank you for putting in the effort.

I was diagnosed with dyslexia as a child,  as was my sister,  and now both of her two kids.   I have never read a book on the subject because I have no interest in it so I speak only from experience. 

It is a sliding scale though..  everyone is probably a "bit dyslexic".   Some people cope with it more easily than others.

Provided you can get them over the hurdle of reading and writing there is no reason I can see why they won't go on to be very successful in later life (though perhaps more likely in science, engineering or a practical vocation than as a literary genius).

Some people will tell you it is not a real thing and is just a new word for dumb people.   I have some sympathy with that view..   I was very dumb at reading and writing..   fortunately I was pretty ok at everything else.  To me that sums up dyslexia

[Freeholder]

Dyslexia hadn't been invented when I was a child but my mum told me I had all the symptoms. The technique in those days was to make you practice a lot. To this day, I am over 60, if I sit holding a pen and not doing anything my hand will start to do one of my childhood writing exercises. I still hadn't mastered joining the letters up when I took my O levels but I passed enough of them. My experience, others may vary, is that what is needed to overcome this problem is nothing heroic. Just persistance over a long period. I don't recall feeling any anger or resentment about it. I definately felt I had been dealt a better hand than the kid who could not play rugby or was baffled by technical drawing. Last time I looked I still had BSc MRICS written after my name. I did well enough at work that I now sit in a house I own receivig a pension I can comfortably live on.

[MrPin]

A word has been made up for something which previously has been well in the spectrum of normality, and didn't need a special word. People confuse normal with average.

[Freeholder]

2 minutes ago, MrPin said:

A word has been made up for something which previously has been well in the spectrum of normality, and didn't need a special word. People confuse normal with average.

That is a very good, very true, line.

 

edit typo

[MrPin]

5 minutes ago, Freeholder said:

That is a very good, very true, line.

 

edit typo

I think people were more understanding, and generous, when there were no targets and league tables. Now the target is to become average, because that is good enough.

[choochoo]

Thanks for all the replies folks. She's still very outgoing and confident but also aware that she isn't "clever" as she is in the bottom group for reading etc. I guess it must be harder for them to understand when still so young.

[The Masked Tulip]

choochoo, what month was your daughter born in if you don't mind me asking? Also, what is her muscle tone like? Is she very slim, almost skinny? Does she eat a lot but does not appear to put muscle mass on?

I ask as in the past week I have been reading some of the latest thoughts about theraputic doses of various vitamins, mainly D3 and the MK-4 & MK-7 forms of K2 (both are not really vitamins as they are fat soluble.), in regard to autism and dyslexia.

Also, one last question - does she eat much animal fat in her diet? I am thinking her of grass fed butter, full fat milk, animal fats from meats, etc? What about Mr. & Mrs. Choochoo?

[Battenberg]

My youngest is dyslexic as is Mr B. They both have very negative can't do attitudes regarding reading and writing and I don't think that helps. 

My son is really struggling in comprehensive, year 8 now. School had suggested he could have a laptop but then didn't follow through with it. I'm wondering, from reading CunningPlan's comments if that really would be the best way forward as he finds the process of getting stuff from his brain down on paper very difficult but like most kids now he spends a good deal of time on a keyboard. 

I think it may be worth me buying the laptop for him in the new year. 

You're not alone in dealing with this ChooChoo. Hopefully she's at a school that will support her. We had the joys of the Welsh Assembly's foundation experiment the year my son started school. That was enough of a set back without the added complication of dyslexia. 

[The Masked Tulip]

Have you considered a games console Battenberg?

Here's One More Reason To Play Video Games: Beating Dyslexia

[Hail the Tripod]

16 hours ago, libspero said:

IMO I wouldn't look at dyslexia as a "thing"..  think of it simply as an unbalanced IQ.

Where as the average person finds learning maths, english, science, languages more or less on a par with each other..  dyslexics tend to be disproportionately better at logic, reasoning, spacial awareness etc than they are at language based skills.

Basically,  you will probably have to spend a lot of time helping your kid with spelling and practicing reading and writing in a way that other kids might pick up a lot more quickly.

It is hard work for both the kid and the parent but it will pay off and they will (eventually) thank you for putting in the effort.

I was diagnosed with dyslexia as a child,  as was my sister,  and now both of her two kids.   I have never read a book on the subject because I have no interest in it so I speak only from experience. 

It is a sliding scale though..  everyone is probably a "bit dyslexic".   Some people cope with it more easily than others.

Provided you can get them over the hurdle of reading and writing there is no reason I can see why they won't go on to be very successful in later life (though perhaps more likely in science, engineering or a practical vocation than as a literary genius).

Some people will tell you it is not a real thing and is just a new word for dumb people.   I have some sympathy with that view..   I was very dumb at reading and writing..   fortunately I was pretty ok at everything else.  To me that sums up dyslexia

I was diagnosed as dyslexic around 14 or 15 years old, and I would mostly just echo all libspero has said there. It takes a bit more time to read and you have to work a bit harder with spelling there's no reason why you can't become entirely proficient. In fact, given the general standard is pretty low (see the various grammar Nazi threads), even dyslexics can choose to rise well above the average proficiency level. 

[DTMark]

Based on the person I know and the encouragement that I think they wish that they had received at school, it really is a case of being "different" and seeing words differently in such a way that the classic "read from the textbook" approach isn't well-suited to them.

That person can sometimes now get 8 letter words on "Countdown" that I don't get. OK spelling isn't perfect, but it's good enough to be able to do that. They surprise themselves.

So I think it's a case of making sure the child realises that they are different, in a way that their peers won't really understand, but different is not equal to "worse", nor less intelligent, it is not their "fault", and there is no reason for it to hold them back - they're just "wired up a little differently" and that is all. I did find quite a few good resources on the net so worth having a scout around. You'd think that this would be able to be dealt with better at school by now, maybe it is.

[Cosmic Apple]

On 12/15/2016 at 0:49 PM, choochoo said:

At the risk of turning off-topic into an agony aunt forum or Mumsnet, I'm also going to ask for advice from the crowd since you've offered so many informative and kind words to the cancer and divorce threads.

My 8 year old daughter has just been confirmed as having dyslexia. It hasn't come as a surprise as it's become increasingly apparent over the last 12-18 months that something wasn't quite right. We've read all the blurb, heard the spiel that it's manageable and that x, y and z famous people have it, but nothing we've actually seen helps explain what it actually feels like to have dyslexia.

We need to sit down and explain this to her, probably after Xmas and to be honest nothing I've read is really helping me feel informed enough to help her.

Does anyone have any experience of living with dyslexia or have children with dyslexia? Any tips, experiences or advice you wouldn't mind sharing?

I'm dyslexic and was diagnosed at around 9years old. 

My primary school was rubbish, I was simply 'good with my hands'. So after diagnosis I went to a private secondary school as opposed to the local comp (there was only one locally, we lived in rural Wales. Given developments in terms of acceptance/acknowledgement of Dyslexia since help is probably going to be available in any good school), which had a specialist unit to offer extra help. I never learn't French but did extra English instead (French being compulsory to everyone else). I did do some Welsh, but dropped it 2 lessons after (oddly, imho) being moved to 'top' set. Welsh spellings got in the way of learning English.

I sat separate Sciences and was in the top set. Top set Maths and did separate English lang/lit GCSEs. Unfortunately family breakdown and other issues lead to me going to a 'College' rather than staying in school for A levels and things broke down somewhat. I left education with shite A levels and got a job, my own place in West Yorkshire as it was through a contact I'd met online. Its been tough but have ended up in a good place

My advice would be to seek specialist help, though how much depends on how bad it is and what direction she takes. In my school there were some particularly dyslexic kids who needed a lot more help than myself. Specialist English help will assist with spelling/grammar. Stability at home and school will definitely help and I'd have liked more of this and could definitely have achieved more academically if I'd stayed where I was for A levels. University would have been the default path from that school, but hay-ho. Concentrate on what she is bad at if its important (English, Maths) but don't neglect what she is good at! There is no point pushing hard on something she doesn't want or need to do.

[spyguy]

18 hours ago, MrPin said:

A word has been made up for something which previously has been well in the spectrum of normality, and didn't need a special word. People confuse normal with average.

Global Development Syndrome.

Previously called 'touched' or 'slow'

 

[spyguy]

14 hours ago, The Masked Tulip said:

choochoo, what month was your daughter born in if you don't mind me asking? Also, what is her muscle tone like? Is she very slim, almost skinny? Does she eat a lot but does not appear to put muscle mass on?

I ask as in the past week I have been reading some of the latest thoughts about theraputic doses of various vitamins, mainly D3 and the MK-4 & MK-7 forms of K2 (both are not really vitamins as they are fat soluble.), in regard to autism and dyslexia.

Also, one last question - does she eat much animal fat in her diet? I am thinking her of grass fed butter, full fat milk, animal fats from meats, etc? What about Mr. & Mrs. Choochoo?

There's some recent research stating that Aspergers might be prevented by Vit D during pregnancy.

There was some research into the high levels of Aspergers with people living in SIlicon valley i.e. nerdy mum + dad pop out Aspergers kids.

Consider this - nerdy parents, so a likelihood to spend more time inside, out of the sun. Low bit D intake, giving birth to Aspergers kids.

[The Masked Tulip]

2 hours ago, spyguy said:

There's some recent research stating that Aspergers might be prevented by Vit D during pregnancy.

There was some research into the high levels of Aspergers with people living in SIlicon valley i.e. nerdy mum + dad pop out Aspergers kids.

Consider this - nerdy parents, so a likelihood to spend more time inside, out of the sun. Low bit D intake, giving birth to Aspergers kids.

Yes, hence why I asked the questions that I did. There are those who are now linking the so-called learning illnesses as being connected to a lack of D3 / K2 during the pregnancy. Apparently there are higher occurences of things like dyslexia, aspergers and even autism in children conceived during the winter months or mostly carried during the winter months - i.e. when their Mums are likely to be chronically deficient in those fat soluble resources.

There are quite a few parents who are adamant that they involved the above condiitions in their children considerably by applying theraputic doses of, in particular, D3 and also K2. There is at least one book on Amazon written by a Mum who details her child's story and the D3 supplementation she used.

I had not heard about the Silicon Valley research but, thanks, as that is very interesting. Heck, people over there live in cubes most of the day despite being surrounded by brilliant sunshine and many often only exercise early morning or late evening. Arizona has very high levels of D deficiency, and also IIRC asthma, because the sunshine is so strong people try to cover up and stay out of it.

[Battenberg]

8 hours ago, The Masked Tulip said:

Have you considered a games console Battenberg?

Here's One More Reason To Play Video Games: Beating Dyslexia

He has one TMT, plays Xbox but not a small handheld console very often. He's very practical too and has a love of tractors. He's 12 and likes nothing more than mixing petrol and oil, filling the lawn mover and tidying the lawn. He'd much rather be outside and I did suggest to school, when they asked me what I thought might help, that they let him spend his days with the grounds men and the caretaker. They didn't get it. 

4 hours ago, Northern Welsh Midlander said:

I'm dyslexic and was diagnosed at around 9years old. 

My primary school was rubbish, I was simply 'good with my hands'. So after diagnosis I went to a private secondary school as opposed to the local comp (there was only one locally, we lived in rural Wales. Given developments in terms of acceptance/acknowledgement of Dyslexia since help is probably going to be available in any good school), which had a specialist unit to offer extra help. I never learn't French but did extra English instead (French being compulsory to everyone else). I did do some Welsh, but dropped it 2 lessons after (oddly, imho) being moved to 'top' set. Welsh spellings got in the way of learning English.

I sat separate Sciences and was in the top set. Top set Maths and did separate English lang/lit GCSEs. Unfortunately family breakdown and other issues lead to me going to a 'College' rather than staying in school for A levels and things broke down somewhat. I left education with shite A levels and got a job, my own place in West Yorkshire as it was through a contact I'd met online. Its been tough but have ended up in a good place

My advice would be to seek specialist help, though how much depends on how bad it is and what direction she takes. In my school there were some particularly dyslexic kids who needed a lot more help than myself. Specialist English help will assist with spelling/grammar. Stability at home and school will definitely help and I'd have liked more of this and could definitely have achieved more academically if I'd stayed where I was for A levels. University would have been the default path from that school, but hay-ho. Concentrate on what she is bad at if its important (English, Maths) but don't neglect what she is good at! There is no point pushing hard on something she doesn't want or need to do.

Compulsory Welsh for 5 years and French until at least year 9, is definitely affecting my son. I can't tell you how many times I've had to explain to school that he's struggling enough with English. He's been really disruptive in his Welsh lessons and his teacher is clearly fed up with him. I'm fed up with trying to fix a problem I don't feel I have any control over. I have no interest in him being forced to learn either of those languages. I'm really not sure what I should do. I spoke with his head of year last week and said that following so research I felt he should have a Senco and she agreed but then told me that their resources were stretched. 

My other children have managed the languages without incident but I'm am painfully aware that this is a million times harder for him. 

[The Masked Tulip]

11 minutes ago, Battenberg said:

He has one TMT, plays Xbox but not a small handheld console very often. He's very practical too and has a love of tractors. He's 12 and likes nothing more than mixing petrol and oil, filling the lawn mover and tidying the lawn. He'd much rather be outside and I did suggest to school, when they asked me what I thought might help, that they let him spend his days with the grounds men and the caretaker. They didn't get it. 

Compulsory Welsh for 5 years and French until at least year 9, is definitely affecting my son. I can't tell you how many times I've had to explain to school that he's struggling enough with English. He's been really disruptive in his Welsh lessons and his teacher is clearly fed up with him. I'm fed up with trying to fix a problem I don't feel I have any control over. I have no interest in him being forced to learn either of those languages. I'm really not sure what I should do. I spoke with his head of year last week and said that following so research I felt he should have a Senco and she agreed but then told me that their resources were stretched. 

My other children have managed the languages without incident but I'm am painfully aware that this is a million times harder for him. 

 

There is more and more evidence that playing computer games, espeically using xbox or playstation type controllers, dramatically improves brain activity in people of all ages. It seems to keep the brain more elastic and 'young' so I would certainly encourage him with regard to such games. You never know, he might end up making a living from it.

The Welsh language thing is a huge political thing - basically the taffia abusing Welsh children to drive their own agenda of the language above anything and everything. There are vast numbers of childen all across Wales whose education is suffering enormoualy because they are basically being taught in a foreign language. Sadly, because most of the media in Wales is staffed by people very pro the Welsh language, there is no independent investigation into the damage that is being caused.

There were some blogs online exposing a lot of this but they seem to be lone voices crying in the wilderness. Sadly, nothing will change for your son or for many thousands of other Welsh children. I know of several parents who have literally taken the decision to leave Wales, move across to Bristol and have their kids edcuated without the Welsh language. I am sorry that I can not be of more help.

[MrPin]

Welsh is rubbish, for commerce. Even my passport doesn't have any Welsh in it, and it came from Newport.

[Cosmic Apple]

52 minutes ago, Battenberg said:

He has one TMT, plays Xbox but not a small handheld console very often. He's very practical too and has a love of tractors. He's 12 and likes nothing more than mixing petrol and oil, filling the lawn mover and tidying the lawn. He'd much rather be outside and I did suggest to school, when they asked me what I thought might help, that they let him spend his days with the grounds men and the caretaker. They didn't get it. 

Compulsory Welsh for 5 years and French until at least year 9, is definitely affecting my son. I can't tell you how many times I've had to explain to school that he's struggling enough with English. He's been really disruptive in his Welsh lessons and his teacher is clearly fed up with him. I'm fed up with trying to fix a problem I don't feel I have any control over. I have no interest in him being forced to learn either of those languages. I'm really not sure what I should do. I spoke with his head of year last week and said that following so research I felt he should have a Senco and she agreed but then told me that their resources were stretched. 

My other children have managed the languages without incident but I'm am painfully aware that this is a million times harder for him. 

 

Its utterly backwards to force Welsh on struggling kids. Its a pointless language outside of a few select situations in a few backward parts of Wales. French, German, Spanish, Mandarin... far more worth while.

[The Masked Tulip]

4 minutes ago, Northern Welsh Midlander said:

 

Its utterly backwards to force Welsh on struggling kids. Its a pointless language outside of a few select situations in a few backward parts of Wales. French, German, Spanish, Mandarin... far more worth while.

 

Yes, but the taffia run the Welsh Assembly, the BBC in Wales and basically every main public sector body. Considering their small numbers they have positioned themselves extremely well. By promoting this policy they ensure that their kids will continue to rule Wales for generations to come and, well, sod all the other Welsh kids whose number one language - only language - is English.