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Cosmic Apple

Christmas cards for the previous occupier.

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This will be my 6th Christmas in this house and I've, once again, received a Christmas card addressed to the previous occupier from Shirley and Lucky. The only thing I know about the sender is that Lucky is 17 (I assume its an age, it goes up each year). I open them in the hope there is a return address (or cash), but there never is.

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13 minutes ago, Northern Welsh Midlander said:

This will be my 6th Christmas in this house and I've, once again, received a Christmas card addressed to the previous occupier from Shirley and Lucky. The only thing I know about the sender is that Lucky is 17 (I assume its an age, it goes up each year). I open them in the hope there is a return address (or cash), but there never is.

It's an old joke, but it reminded me of this:

s-l300.jpg

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I like nothing better than to send out cards to couples I don't know just before Christmas, signing them, Best Wishes, Peter and Jane.

I then sit back with nice malt and chuckle over the imagined arguments that surely ensue as the couple accuse each other of forgetting friends or family.

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I've just got a card from the local estate agents I never bought a house from five years ago.

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21 minutes ago, Sledgehead said:

I like nothing better than to send out cards to couples I don't know just before Christmas, signing them, Best Wishes, Peter and Jane.

I then sit back with nice malt and chuckle over the imagined arguments that surely ensue as the couple accuse each other of forgetting friends or family.

How fun!

My own special Christmas card trick is to tip in some glitter. You have to put the card in hinge first so when they pull it out they start spreading the sparkle. I'd not ever thought of sending my glitter cards to random people signed by random people. :)

 

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1 hour ago, MrPin said:

I've just got a card from the local estate agents I never bought a house from five years ago.

I get one from the local curry house :o.

We get a round robin card from a family in France with full details on what their family have managed to achieve in the last 12 months. Pretentious would be an understatement. The previous owners obviously got fed up with reading them too as they have been gone 4 years. 

 

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I used to get a letter from a very pretenious sounding Home Countries couple who would basically boast about all their achievements in terms of work, property, holidays, material things and what their kids had done each year. You know, Tarquin and Abigale types.

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It has been an exciting year for the Renting Family! Little ignatius died of dysentry in January, and Torquil won the Nobel Prize for Chemistry and passed his 11-Plus in February. I had a huge boil on my ars* in March (see photo)....

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8 hours ago, happy_renting said:

It has been an exciting year for the Renting Family! Little ignatius died of dysentry in January, and Torquil won the Nobel Prize for Chemistry and passed his 11-Plus in February. I had a huge boil on my ars* in March (see photo)....

Torquil is a name I've not heard for a while. In fact the only time I've ever heard it is as a bandit leader in a cheesy 80s fantasy film. Hmm...

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13 hours ago, happy_renting said:

Send cards to random strangers saying 'Dad, I still cling to the hope that, one day, you will finally acknowledge me as your illegitimate son.'

Oh, and add some glitter.

*waves hand in glee*

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I get these, and just hand them to the neighbour who is still in touch with "Mrs Tipples". I get about 10 a year to her, often more than I get myself. Oh well.

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5 hours ago, Riedquat said:

Torquil is a name I've not heard for a while. In fact the only time I've ever heard it is as a bandit leader in a cheesy 80s fantasy film. Hmm...

I deduce (from your omission) that you frequently encounter the name Ignatius, however.

True fact: My grandmother actually wanted me to be baptised Torquil. She's dead now. Serves her f****ing right.

 

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3 hours ago, hotairmail said:

 

Should have sent the picture in to the Lancet.

Should of, dear boy, should of. Get with it with the lingo.

Untrue fact: The Lancet was originally a magazine dedicated to lancing boils.

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For a few years now have had the same envelope with same name (overseas origin) a Christmas card posted  to the same place that has always been forwarded to the forwarding address but this card still keeps coming.....ever felt like a middleman.;)

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You have reminded me to make up this year's fake round robin to send to a lucky neighbor.

"Daphne's still on the game and Paul yet to be released from Ashworth. We are holding more swinger's parties if you both are interested, don't let the accident that happened last time put you off....."

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1 hour ago, happy_renting said:

I deduce (from your omission) that you frequently encounter the name Ignatius, however.

True fact: My grandmother actually wanted me to be baptised Torquil. She's dead now. Serves her f****ing right.

Well yes, doesn't everyone know several Ignatiuses?

The film (Krull) comes up in "related searches" if you type it into Google (featured some good music and nice Dolomite scenery). Never knew it was a real name. Still, if your grandmother's influence was still there leaves me wondering what you did end up as even if she couldn't push as far as Torquil :)

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2 hours ago, DEATH said:

You have reminded me to make up this year's fake round robin to send to a lucky neighbor.

"Daphne's still on the game and Paul yet to be released from Ashworth. We are holding more swinger's parties if you both are interested, don't let the accident that happened last time put you off....."

:-D

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23 hours ago, happy_renting said:

Send cards to random strangers saying 'Dad, I still cling to the hope that, one day, you will finally acknowledge me as your illegitimate son.'

 

 

And to think, only moments ago, I'd convinced myself Christmas had lost all its magic ...

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I had a Christmas card addressed to Janet and John. :unsure: It seemed legit, but do the best of my knowledge no-one of those names has ever lived here.

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I would actually like to receive a correspondence addressed to "the previous occupier".

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I have plenty for The Current Occupier from Virgin Media - who took three months to send a geezer in a van tell me I couldn't have their service due to the block paving outside my place. All while stuck using a mobile tethered to my PC.

Yet they still want to sell me stuff.  I'm punching beardy branson square in the mush if I ever see him.

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