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Marriage

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Worth it?

Over rated?

Ruined by having kids?

How do you know if on the rocks? And if worth saving?

Is the grass ever greener on the other side?

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I don't see the point. I have been with the missus for 16 years, and we have 2 kids. No plans on getting married at the moment.

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Jim Davidson was in The Telegraph finance section last weekend talking money.  He has earned several millions but also had several divorces.  His total assets now comprise a year old Range Rover; no house no money.

It really isn't worth the risk if you have substantial assets owing to this country's wildly unfair divorce laws.

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4 minutes ago, Frank Hovis said:

Jim Davidson was in The Telegraph finance section last weekend talking money.  He has earned several millions but also had several divorces.  His total assets now comprise a year old Range Rover; no house no money.

It really isn't worth the risk if you have substantial assets owing to this country's wildly unfair divorce laws.

 

Doesn't he have a place in Dubai?

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4 minutes ago, The Masked Tulip said:

 

Doesn't he have a place in Dubai?

Not according to him:

Quote

I’ve never saved anything. I haven’t got any money now. None. And apart from my Range Rover, which has done 48,000 miles in eight months, I’ve got no assets at all. No property. I live in the house that my wife owns. If I cleared out all my bank accounts I’d have maybe £20,000.

 

Quote

 

I went off to Dubai and bought a place over there with some money I’d saved up but I still had to pay this huge tax bill. They told me I owed them £3m, so I paid off everything except the last £800,000 and asked them if we could do a deal.

But they found out about my house in Dubai, and I had to sell that and give them the profit, which still wasn’t enough, and they eventually had to make me bankrupt, which wasn’t a very pleasant feeling.

 

 

 

https://uk.finance.yahoo.com/news/jim-davidson-ve-never-saved-071700578.html

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1 minute ago, Frank Hovis said:

Jim Davidson was in The Telegraph finance section last weekend talking money.  He has earned several millions but also had several divorces.  His total assets now comprise a year old Range Rover; no house no money.

It really isn't worth the risk if you have substantial assets owing to this country's wildly unfair divorce laws.

Exactly.

I just see it as un-necessary, after all it doesn't change you or the other person so doesn't make your day-to-day relationship with them any different. And the whole big-expensive-wedding thing is just the complete opposite of my own outlook on life and all seems rather false, an excuse to show off.

The people in my age range (early 30's) who seem to be happiest are in long term (>5 year) relationships where they cohabit and have no plans to marry. Whereas the ones who married seem to have ended up with nags. Move up the scale to the most expensive marriage I know of, where the bloke spent the best part of a year's salary on the wedding and honeymoon, and he's in a stale, sexless relationship.

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No way.  I did it once when I was 19 and thought I knew it all.  Turns out I didn't.

Divorced after 24 years and narrowly escaped having to share my pension - I earned more than my husband, which didn't help.  My son makes the whole experience worthwhile, nothing else.

 

Pinny, I have a soul mate.  Not my ex, but my childhood friend, who lives in Oz.

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A trend of mine, mid 60s, got divorced 20 years ago. He voluntarily signed over the house to her on agreement she got the house and he kept his pension.

She now is taking him to court for half his pension.

 

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27 minutes ago, Reebo said:

I don't see the point. I have been with the missus for 16 years, and we have 2 kids. No plans on getting married at the moment.

That would be considered marriage in most cultures. The big knees-up is a fairly modern creation. 

There's something natural and sensible about a man and a woman being together to raise children. Modern society and the welfare state has changed the calculus a bit though.

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Happily married to a lovely lass. 

Bliss.

 

XYY

                                                                                                               

The dog's kennel is not the place to keep a sausage - Danish proverb

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...just a piece of paper, a legal document, often a very expensive one, it guarantees nothing......it certainly doesn't make someone love another more or make them stay together forever.....all children want are loving stable parents, a safe, secure happy family unit. ;)

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Im not married.

Been with partner for almost 18 years. Two kids now.

We have wills and stuff and hold stuff in joint names. Down as partner in pension and all that.

It does give some default protection.

I think the divorce laws are still in the 1920s. It really should be a split of assets help during the marriage that should be split.

Equally the person looking after the kids should have the house til the youngest is 18 then it should be sold and money split.

Neither of my grandparents were married. No point. They were poor,so did not bother with Church. One lot lived in a pit houses, other lot had a house.

One lot had a sort of common-in-law do but that was just beer + sandwiches, making a statement for the family.

Parents and aunts uncles all got married. Some started getting divorced in the early 80s. Uncle went thru a pretty bad one.

Siblings and cousins? One brother married, divorced, married again. No other bothered. Like GPs, we are expected to look after our kids till they can support themselves and we'd be in sh1t with family if that was not the case.

It might  be worth pointing out that 2 GPs were 2 gens settled Romany rather than Pikeys. And Nothern too boot.

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3 minutes ago, winkie said:

...just a piece of paper, a legal document, often a very expensive one, it guarantees nothing......it certainly doesn't make someone love another more.....all children want are loving stable parents, a safe, secure happy family. ;)

There's nothing magic about getting married. It just seems fckign expensive.

None of the weddings we've been to - thinking, 10! - have lasted. ME +partner have outlasted all marriages and did not have spend ~20k to achieve it.

I feel uncfortable when I go th weddings when the newsly weds earn fck all but are spending >15k. Insane.

I have one girl friends who refused to get married as she cannot stand the idea of people looking at her - hates 'Do's'

 

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I also think marriage laws are old fashioned and outdated.....they were when once the father gave his daughter, his possession to her new husband as a possession......I don't think anyone should change the name they were born with either, and why should a man always be a Mr and a woman is identified by her title as to being a spinster or not........I do think it should be possible to be married in faith be it with a church service or other religions service.....something separate to legal marriage. ;)

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I wasn't even thinking of the legal side... Just the idea of choosing a partner for life. When it goes tits up, how do you know if it's fixable? Worth fixing? Par for the course?

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7 minutes ago, hiace_drifter said:

I wasn't even thinking of the legal side... Just the idea of choosing a partner for life. When it goes tits up, how do you know if it's fixable? Worth fixing? Par for the course?

 

You go onto Mumsnet relationship forum and ask if you are being unreasonable.

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43 minutes ago, spyguy said:

Im not married.

Been with partner for almost 18 years. Two kids now.

We have wills and stuff and hold stuff in joint names. Down as partner in pension and all that.

It does give some default protection.

I think the divorce laws are still in the 1920s. It really should be a split of assets help during the marriage that should be split.

Equally the person looking after the kids should have the house til the youngest is 18 then it should be sold and money split.

Neither of my grandparents were married. No point. They were poor,so did not bother with Church. One lot lived in a pit houses, other lot had a house.

One lot had a sort of common-in-law do but that was just beer + sandwiches, making a statement for the family.

Parents and aunts uncles all got married. Some started getting divorced in the early 80s. Uncle went thru a pretty bad one.

Siblings and cousins? One brother married, divorced, married again. No other bothered. Like GPs, we are expected to look after our kids till they can support themselves and we'd be in sh1t with family if that was not the case.

It might  be worth pointing out that 2 GPs were 2 gens settled Romany rather than Pikeys. And Nothern too boot.

Flip side is when you find out that as an unmarried father you have no legal rights over your children.  If they are in an accident with their mum, your (not) mother in law is next of kin and has total control.  

That is why I got married.  But not why I am still married.  I picked well.

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8 minutes ago, hiace_drifter said:

I wasn't even thinking of the legal side... Just the idea of choosing a partner for life. When it goes tits up, how do you know if it's fixable? Worth fixing? Par for the course?

.....no two people or relationships are the same, but there are some ground rules that increase the probability of the partnership working......I would say good communication and trust are high on that list. ;)

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