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nome

So these new indestructible fivers then...

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Got a brand new one from the bank yesterday, carefully bent it (definitely didn't fold it) to fit into my jacket top pocket, 30 minutes later when I got home and took it out it had a sharp crease in it, which looks permanent and a seperate tear next to the hologram... I predict we're going to have problems with the robustness and longevity of these.

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16 minutes ago, nome said:

Got a brand new one from the bank yesterday, carefully bent it (definitely didn't fold it) to fit into my jacket top pocket, 30 minutes later when I got home and took it out it had a sharp crease in it, which looks permanent and a seperate tear next to the hologram... I predict we're going to have problems with the robustness and longevity of these.

Remove them from your pocket before using a Corby trouser press.

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The notes include instructions of what to do in this situation - ' I promise to pay the bearer on demand the sum of five pounds'

So, pop down to the Bank of England, ask for the chief cashier and demand a replacement.

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3 hours ago, nome said:

Got a brand new one from the bank yesterday, carefully bent it (definitely didn't fold it) to fit into my jacket top pocket, 30 minutes later when I got home and took it out it had a sharp crease in it, which looks permanent and a seperate tear next to the hologram... I predict we're going to have problems with the robustness and longevity of these.

TOP TIP:

Creased and split plastic fivers..?

No problem.

Simply weld the splits back together, and warm the creases out over the gentle flame of a Toc H Lamp...

 

 

XYY

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1 hour ago, The XYY Man said:

TOP TIP:

Creased and split plastic fivers..?

No problem.

Simply weld the splits back together, and warm the creases out over the gentle flame of a Toc H Lamp...

 

 

XYY

Genius.

I am sure that the 1001 Uses For a Toc H Lamp is going to be the runaway best seller this Christmas. 

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2 minutes ago, stormymonday_2011 said:

Genius.

I am sure that the 1001 Uses For a Toc H Lamp is going to be the runaway best seller this Christmas. 

You're correct of course Stormus Mondicus.

I reckon it'll build-up sales gradually rather than shoot straight to the top of the charts.

It always has been a bit of a slow-burner like...

;)

 

 

XYY

 

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6 minutes ago, CunningPlan said:

I know you are writing Toc H lamp but it just looks like spyguy trying to type Torch

:)

 

Aye. He's a top bloke though - despite the vibration white-finger..!

;)

 

 

XYY

 

 

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27 minutes ago, SarahBell said:

send it me, i will sort it out

What would you want with an indestructible liver? Have you been out for a tipple with XYY, or CCC?:o

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4 minutes ago, MrPin said:

What would you want with an indestructible liver? Have you been out for a tipple with XYY, or CCC?:o

I'm biology, the teacher asked if the class could name something pickled in alcohol. The class wag piped up with 'one's liver' (aka me) :lol: :ph34r: 

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2 minutes ago, One-percent said:

I'm biology, the teacher asked if the class could name something pickled in alcohol. The class wag piped up with 'one's liver' (aka me) :lol: :ph34r: 

Maybe you should be Mr 40%?:mellow:

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48 minutes ago, MrPin said:

What would you want with an indestructible liver? Have you been out for a tipple with XYY, or CCC?:o

I know they're supposed to be anonymous donors and all that - but after my latest transplants, one of the nurses let a few things slip.

Apparently my new kidneys came from Duncan McCloud - AKA "The Highlander" - and my liver used to belong to Captain Scarlet..!

The rectal procedure however didn't work out quite so well.

Unfortunately, The Bionic Woman's arsê-hole rejected me...

;)

 

XYY

 

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Same style many countries have been using for years.  My only issue with the plastic notes is they have a tenancy to jump out of your pocket more easily.

Mexico have the same for their 20 peso note..   Ironically it probably won't be long before it's worth the same value.

 

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1 hour ago, MrPin said:

What would you want with an indestructible liver? Have you been out for a tipple with XYY, or CCC?:o

I have a nice bottle of Chianti and some fava beans.

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They're far more slippery and springy than paper notes so one imagines they likely spring/slip out of your pocket far more easily.  

They don't feel that nice and don't properly fold so easliy.

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22 minutes ago, stormymonday_2011 said:

I wonder if 'Lord Coke' has road tested the new plastic fivers yet. Are they as viable a medium for snorting a line off a hookers body as the old notes he used ?

https://www.thesun.co.uk/archives/news/100018/lord-coke-top-peers-drug-binges-with-200-prostitutes/

 

They are for a while...

Quote

The UK has just introduced plastic banknotes, almost 30 years after they were used for the first time in Australia. The polymer notes are designed to last longer and be harder to forge. But the new notes, which will replace the old cotton paper ones entirely by 2020, come with a challenge for police detectives and forensic scientists.

The existing techniques for obtaining fingerprints from paper notes won’t necessarily work for the new plastic money. However, our team at the chemistry department of Loughborough University has developed a potential solution.

Best get snorting and stuff while the going is good!

Source :- http://theconversation.com/plastic-banknotes-new-fingerprint-technique-means-criminals-cant-avoid-capture-65063

Damm too late! :lol:

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6 hours ago, paulokes said:

The lady in the bank tells me they stick together very easily, warns to be careful you don't give away two thinking it's one etc.

That matches my brief experience of them.

Not sure how they are for stuffing down panties, or sniffing coke of a tarts badger :blink:

 

P

I bet big Sam will be finding out asap !!

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