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Canoe Fake Death Man, Done It Due To Being A Failed Landlord

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The canoe man who faked his own death, done it due failing at becoming HMO landlord. It truly is staggering how the banks could have lent £350,000 to a couple bringing home about £2000 a month.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3804849/The-wife-helped-husband-fake-death-canoe-tells-weeping-children-believe-too.html

John had overstretched himself with the purchase of our new home in the seaside town of Seaton Carew, and was struggling to pay the mortgage. To add to our worries, he’d also bought the house adjoining ours — equally large, and converted into 13 bedsits — in the hope of making some serious money from the rental income. But he’d been unable to find tenants to fill it, nor funds to keep up with the repairs. (exactly what any wise person would do when struggling to pay for 1 property, is buy another!)

John owed £64,000 on credit cards, and the car was costing him a crazy £650 every month out of his £1,300 take-home pay. I earned £750 a month but our mortgage payment was £1,735 a month, and on top of that John had taken out various high interest loans. Our total debts came to around £350,000, rising by the day. A tide of financial ruin was about to engulf us.

I never knew what kind of a mood John would be in. He often used to ignore me and sulk. I never wanted the houses in the first place, and I didn’t know how or why John’s plans had got so out of control.

Good to know an entire generation has been priced out of owning a simple fckn house and raising their children in a more stable environment due to having to bail out banks who lent money they knew could never be paid back so these dumbfux could impress the neighbours.

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The most incredible claim in that is Seaham Carew being described as a seaside town.

Try 3rd world ship breaking slum.

This might stir XYY from offtopics mind.

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The most incredible claim in that is Seaham Carew being described as a seaside town.

Try 3rd world ship breaking slum.

This might stir XYY from offtopics mind.

If this place is anything to go buy prices have doubled in 13 years.

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/house-prices/detailMatching.html?prop=40582241&sale=82476000&country=england

If they'd just made it through to ZIRP they'd have been rich!

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As far asi can tell houses are pretty much the same nominal price as 2004 in the NE.

The NE suffers from very low transaction levels. Mainly down to low wages, high unemoloyement and MMR

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The most incredible claim in that is Seaham Carew being described as a seaside town.

Try 3rd world ship breaking slum.

This might stir XYY from offtopics mind.

You're right double-oh-seven - it has.

Seaton Carew (not Seaham Carew) is possibly the shitiest seaside town on Earth - and probably where Morrissey's clothes were stolen...!

You will be offered sexual favours to get teenage zombies 20 Regal King Size and four cans of Special Brew from the off-licence.

You would of course end-up with gangrene of the bell-end should you be dumb enough to accept.

Speaking of which, has yours cleared-up yet spyguy...?

;)

XYY

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an outsider, we appeared to have it all as we celebrated the first Christmas of the new millennium. A huge, Victorian seafront home, a shiny blue Range Rover with personalised number plates my husbands pride and joy parked outside and an impressive portfolio of more than a dozen rental properties across County Durham.

Both of us had steady jobs John as an officer at the local prison, and I as a receptionist at a busy GPs surgery.

Public sector, tick

Range rover, tick

Up to their eyeballs, tick

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You're right double-oh-seven - it has.

Seaton Carew (not Seaham Carew) is possibly the shitiest seaside town on Earth - and probably where Morrissey's clothes were stolen...!

You will be offered sexual favours to get teenage zombies 20 Regal King Size and four cans of Special Brew from the off-licence.

You would of course end-up with gangrene of the bell-end should you be dumb enough to accept.

Speaking of which, has yours cleared-up yet spyguy...?

;)XYY

I put on antiseptic soaked chastity y fronts as soon as i get to roseberry topping. they dont come off till i get to newcastle. i have a soft spot for geordie girls. and they have a moist spot for me.

i went to seaton!!!! to look at the ships being broken up. or not as was the case.

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I remember reading about this, "I'm dead trick" going wrong years ago and back then I did wonder why anyone would consider such an act. Boomers competing with make believe. I hope he was nice to the chaps in the local lock-up, wouldn't want to upset to many and then end up being in the same place behind the wrong side of the bars. I heard his marriage broke up shortly before court and I actually do feel sorry the guy. I hope is receiving the right mental assistance where he is now.

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If I rightly recall 'Canoe Man' came to the notice of Old Bill by being photographed (and shown online) with a Phillipino Estate Agent.

They quickly deduced he might not be dead...

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"We couldn’t even sell any of our other properties to keep our creditors at bay, because John had rolled all our debts into one huge monthly payment, known as a global mortgage."

I'd not really heard of this idea of a "global mortgage" before. So the whole portfolio is on one combined mortgage, which might be convenient from the admin point of view, and possibly gets the landlord a keener interest rate. But, if one of the properties is sold, it requires the whole mortgage to be redeemed and/or renegotiated? Is there any information anywhere on how common this type of mortgage might be among BTL landlords these days?

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Thd interesting thing to note in his get rich scheme - no takers for his bedsit flophouse.

Other btlers are finding this out in the north. the cheap places have plenty of social housing. the only tenants btlers will get are the scum the council do not want

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If I rightly recall 'Canoe Man' came to the notice of Old Bill by being photographed (and shown online) with a Phillipino Estate Agent.

They quickly deduced he might not be dead...

Is that in a professional or amateur sense?

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"We couldn’t even sell any of our other properties to keep our creditors at bay, because John had rolled all our debts into one huge monthly payment, known as a global mortgage."

I'd not really heard of this idea of a "global mortgage" before. So the whole portfolio is on one combined mortgage, which might be convenient from the admin point of view, and possibly gets the landlord a keener interest rate. But, if one of the properties is sold, it requires the whole mortgage to be redeemed and/or renegotiated? Is there any information anywhere on how common this type of mortgage might be among BTL landlords these days?

8244007129_450acf4c88_b.jpg

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All that is needed for completeness is for Canoe Man to appear in an orbiting space station with British (hurray!) Astro-legend Tim Peake.

If he were to go on a space tourist holiday on the iss that would be truly hilarious.

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