What Exactly Do Women Want From Men?

[debtlessmanc]

I was at a relatives wedding recently, and we (my little branch of the family) all chatted to a couple of nephews of mine and we sadly got to speculating whether either of them would ever marry.

They both have their problems (don't we all) but I suspect part of their (self admitted) difficulties with women springs from that sort of terrible advice mothers give their sons, like "Just be yourself"

Indeed, I have had these conversations. My middle brothers sons are really nice lads with okay jobs- in fact the eldest has quite a good job. But they are both very quiet and I fine myself having difficulty making conversations with them they cannot seem to hold down a relationship. My brother works crazily hard to support his wife and is a complete slave to her. When I seperated From my ex he was horrified by my stories of the financial consequences. When I met my new wife he was so obviously pissed off that I was Now happy it was incredible.

[spunko2010]

Indeed, I have had these conversations. My middle brothers sons are really nice lads with okay jobs- in fact the eldest has quite a good job. But they are both very quiet and I fine myself having difficulty making conversations with them they cannot seem to hold down a relationship. My brother works crazily hard to support his wife and is a complete slave to her. When I seperated From my ex he was horrified by my stories of the financial consequences. When I met my new wife he was so obviously pissed off that I was Now happy it was incredible.

Could it be they just don't like talking to you?

I don't bother with polite chatter if I don't like the other person or find them boring. It might come across as being shy but who cares. What's the point?

[JoeDavola]

I know a woman whose husband:

- has a good job and is ambitious, currently scouring the recruitment agents to find a promotion and be top of the pay scale for his skillset. Earns significantly more than her.

- is an incredible cook

- has taught himself woodwork and completely remodeled their garden

- is an accomplished musician

- drives a fancy car

- paid for a horrendously expensive wedding for the both of them

- worked two jobs to pay for the wedding and the house

...and I also know that she hasn't had sex with him in years, and refuses to.

I'd love to know what exactly she wants?

[spunko2010]

I know a woman whose husband:

- has a good job and is ambitious, currently scouring the recruitment agents to find a promotion and be top of the pay scale for his skillset

- is an incredible cook

- has taught himself woodwork and completely remodeled their garden

- is an accomplished musician

- drives a fancy car

- paid for a horrendously expensive wedding for the both of them

- worked two jobs to pay for the wedding and the house

...and I also know that she hasn't had sex with him in years, and refuses to.

I'd love to know what exactly she wants?

More fool him for marrying her. What's keeping him there?

[JoeDavola]

More fool him for marrying her. What's keeping him there?

Sunk cost fallacy. I told him not to marry her.

I just thought about him when I read this thread, he's a guy doing pretty much everything right, and offering more than most men (myself included) could.

[frozen_out]

I know a woman whose husband:

- has a good job and is ambitious, currently scouring the recruitment agents to find a promotion and be top of the pay scale for his skillset. Earns significantly more than her.

- is an incredible cook

- has taught himself woodwork and completely remodeled their garden

- is an accomplished musician

- drives a fancy car

- paid for a horrendously expensive wedding for the both of them

- worked two jobs to pay for the wedding and the house

...and I also know that she hasn't had sex with him in years, and refuses to.

I'd love to know what exactly she wants?

It's obvious what she doesn't want. If he's happy to put up with it then it's his call.

[Turned Out Nice Again]

They want a man who genuinely is better than them. It's hard wired, they can't help it.

They also know innately that most men aren't good enough. Everything else is a game to identify and bag a high quality man, while keeping clear of the sea of losers.

Can't improve on that.

Which of necessity negates the possibility of a relationship based on equality and mutual respect.

Let the implications of that settle in.

[winkie]

I can't say....different people want different things for different reasons......but could it be that it is the men who in recent times have had an identity crisis, not knowing or not made clear what their role in life should be?.....I do think roles have been changing for both sexes, although women can still be disadvantaged in certain cultures, it is often the men that have picked the short straw with many things......fast changing world?

[spyguy]

Think the bangles had it back in the day.

My 13 YO self knew exactly what Suzanna Hoff wanted.

[spyguy]

You also need to recognise that in pre-sexual revolution society, women and men were, through social mores, forced to 'settle' for an average individual. This mean that many more people had a crack at a marriage.

nowadays, with almost all restrictions on womens sexual desires removed, when young women can bang attractive men every now and then and ignore the masses of average men. The women will never marry and never settle down with the attractive men (well, most will not) but they will have their freedom for a few years. Until age comes and looks go.

meanwhile, hordes of men go effectively without and if they marry, is only as beta providers after the girls looks have gone and they can no longer attract hot ****.

alpha ******, beta bucks as the saying goes.

of course, this means both men and women are much less happy, on average, over their lifetime.

Yay for womens freedom.

Not.

Its a bit of naive theory.

As a 13 yo, I used to think people dated within their goodlooking bands. And, to be honest, thats how it worked at school.

I was a povo so got fckall.

Whne you get older things are more dynamic than that.

You date/shag above and below your perceived attractiveness.

Looks are only one factor.

To be honest dating under 25 is probably when the most honest youll ever get as its done on pure attractiveness - bar the 'Does he have a car'.

Weirdly, when Ive been going out with very very attractive women, its always blokes who'll say 'Punching above your weight'

Whereas when I go out with someone a bit plainer or chubby, its women who'll say 'Why are you going out with her?'

Normally cos I liked the person and they were a very good shag.

[RichB]

My 13 YO self knew exactly what Suzanna Hoff wanted.

In my 40s I'm still pretty clear about that.

Still wrong tho.

[interestrateripoff]

I read on another thread that they just want your spunk. Apparently it's like a drug and makes them happy and submissive - a state they clearly pine for to get them out of their crankiness. If you want a happy relationship never wear a condom.

I was thinking the same. They just want the juice.

[Limpet]

Sunk cost fallacy. I told him not to marry her.

I just thought about him when I read this thread, he's a guy doing pretty much everything right, and offering more than most men (myself included) could.

I would imagine that she`s shagging someone.

[Errol]

They don't want equality. They want supremacy.

[John51]

From the Married Red Pill sub on Reddit:

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/49r444/why_would_any_woman_complain_about_mrp/

OP:

I find myself wondering if MRP is actually a con put over on us by women. I'm only half joking. Consider the program:

1. Lose weight. Get in great shape. Dress better. Become as attractive as you can.

2. Learn to become a Sex God in bed.

3. Become OI about not getting sex if she doesn't want to. Just cheerfully move on to the next thing.

4. Get shit done around the house, manage the kids, finances, etc.

5. Generally improve yourself in every way.

6. If your wife is a bitch, realize that it's ultimately your fault. If she's mistreated you in the past, that's on you, not her.

7. Always remember that she's a free agent and you can't force her to do anything.

8. Do this for a year or so. At the end of the process, make sure you give her a clear warning and a choice before ending the marriage.

Sure, throw in some fem-bashing and let him think he's the captain to make it palatable. But seriously, what's not to like if you're a woman?

The best reply imo:

Look at the list through the eyes of a woman with a schlub husband or boyfriend:

"He'll lose weight? That's great! Not that I don't wuv my widdle teddy-bear. Heh heh hurrnnnnn.. He'll lose weight, right? And if he get's new clothes then I get new clothes too! I think that's fair."

"He'll try even harder to please me in bed? Grrreeeeeeaat!"

"I can say no as much as I want and he won't do anything? Yuuussssss!"

"He's going to even MORE(or in some cases, any) chores! More Facebook time for me!"

"If I occasionally lose control and give him a hard time he'll take the blame? SIGN ME UP!"

"If I don'ts wansta, I ain't gotsta! <sing_song>Loving it!</sing_song>"

"If he's not happy after a year he'll leave me and be this improved person for someone else. Wait, WHAT?"

Women who don't have men that are improving themselves don't like this because of number eight. Number eight is a big, bright, flashing neon sign that reads, "You will also have to improve yourself to keep your man. If you don't, he may leave you."

The list may hold a bevy of improvements for their relationship, but it contains a threat: that every positive their man makes could lead him to dissolving their relationship.

[ccc]

Everything

[Mark Uttley]

[JoeDavola]

I would imagine that she`s shagging someone.

Nope, I'm as cynical as the next fella but I don't think she's shagging anyone.

They don't want equality. They want supremacy.

I think he actually treats her 'too well' if that makes sense. Does everything for her and has her on a pedestal despite the fact she offers him nothing in return (not just sex, I mean she can't cook or anything, they have no real hobbies in common); so I think her contempt for him is pretty much cause she knows she's not all that great and that he's kinda pathetic for selflessly doing so much for her.

[justthisbloke]

IME, women want a man to (i) remove spiders, (ii) get things down from high shelves, and (iii) er, that's about it.

[Sledgehead]

They don't want equality. They want supremacy.

As I see it it's not so much supremacy as control. In the language of mecha, they want an Evangelion. They want to inject themselves into the heads of these bio-machines and thus fashion their will. In Neon Genesis, charcters like Rei and Asuka use bio-mecha to save the earth from destruction. In relationships, women get us to put up shelves.

[Bloo Loo]

Nope, I'm as cynical as the next fella but I don't think she's shagging anyone.

I think he actually treats her 'too well' if that makes sense. Does everything for her and has her on a pedestal despite the fact she offers him nothing in return (not just sex, I mean she can't cook or anything, they have no real hobbies in common); so I think her contempt for him is pretty much cause she knows she's not all that great and that he's kinda pathetic for selflessly doing so much for her.

Pedestal?...surely you mean Peddle stool?

[Cosmic Apple]

IME, women want a man to (i) remove spiders, (ii) get things down from high shelves, and (iii) er, that's about it.

My GF doesn't mind spiders and I got her a step stool from IKEA to get things down from high shelves. Am I redundant?

[crashmonitor]

They want a man who genuinely is better than them. It's hard wired, they can't help it.

They also know innately that most men aren't good enough. Everything else is a game to identify and bag a high quality man, while keeping clear of the sea of losers.

Spectrum fx you have not only nailed this topic, you have come up with the meaning of life, the universe and everything. The proof of the pudding is that wealthy widows never remarry. It's just hard wired (as you say) that the man must be richer, healthier, better..........

http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/marriage/why-wealthy-divorced-women-dont-remarry-and-men-do/

[JoeDavola]

The proof of the pudding is that wealthy widows never remarry. It's just hard wired (as you say) that the man must be richer, healthier, better..........

It would be very interesting to see the stats on how many rich windows vs rich widowers remarry.

I've seen a few examples in my time of attractive, well educated (PhD) 30-something women who can't find anyone to date because the pool of 'acceptable' men has shrunk massively.

The 'I want someone better' rule still applies, and often applies even more in intelligent/high flying women as they seem hyper-aware to 'dating down'. So for such women there's very, very few men left who make the grade.

[Sledgehead]

I've seen a few examples in my time of attractive, well educated (PhD) 30-something women who can't find anyone to date because the pool of 'acceptable' men has shrunk massively.

The 'I want someone better' rule still applies, and often applies even more in intelligent/high flying women as they seem hyper-aware to 'dating down'. So for such women there's very, very few men left who make the grade.

The sad thing is that although these women are bright, they have no clue about the market they are looking at. Ricky "yer doin' my 'ed in" Butcher types, who think the missus knows best, are very rare. Even famously-thick Joey Essex thinks he's brighter than the girls he dates. So what good is a PhD to a woman in the dating game? It's like she's taken a fixer-upper and developed the be-jeezuz out of it. She thinks she's added value. To men it's all so much unnecessariness that probably detracts from general marketability, and at any rate demands a higher pricetag.