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Would You Ever Date A Single Mum?

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There seems to be a lot of pressure against the pool of available men to get involved.

You see comments like...

Where have all the good guys gone?

Why are you so scared?

A real man accepts the child from another father?

This last one is particularly Machiavellian.

And the PC journalists are going into over-drive about it:

http://thoughtcatalog.com/joss-hill/2015/02/a-letter-to-the-scared-guy-dating-the-single-mom/

http://thoughtcatalog.com/eden-strong/2015/01/im-a-single-mom-but-im-not-to-blame-stop-judging-me-for-it/

http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/dating-tips-advice/im-a-single-mom-who-is-ready-to-give-up-on-men-because-they-all-want-sex/

Another shaming attempt.

Getting involved could end in a nightmare. The equivalent of divorce rape. There's even cases of men paying support for children that are not theirs.

So...dating single mums......no thanks.

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34,divorced 4 years,4 kids under 9, successful career??

Assuming 4 seperate kids rather than quads, i fail to see what career she can have, bar knocking out kids?

I know a lot of single mums.

I know this has all been discussed on deleuded thread.

Dont get involved with mums with kids at home.

The only acceptable would be young kidsbut then you have question sanity of someone who gets knocked up and splits up a couple of years later. Half the parents at my kids school have split up before the kids are 9. Wierdly, the jnmarried parents seem to stick longer than married.

Then you get to the meeting someone in your later age. Whats in it for thd man. Not kids. Most single mums, after kids, will be looking for a meal ticket. Thats it.

Later age relationships only work if theres some common interest, sexual attraction has gone by then.

The answer i give to my friends when they ask - Where are all the decent men?

With the decent women.

Always gets a nervous laugh.

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For me, no.

Not unless the single mum had some kind of extraordinary advantage to me personally. Like she was a multi-millionaire or something.

So basically the answer is 'no' in 99% of all cases. I would be looking 10-15yrs younger in any event.

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If I loved that person I would.

I think where love is involved, common sense goes out of the window.

Nothing wrong about that. Life is a gamble.

It could go wrong, but then without taking risks for happiness you just end up a miserable husk of a human being.

Love as opposed to sexual lust, takes time.

Youre unlikely to spend much quality own tome with a single mum are you? And if you do Id question her maternal instincts.

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There seems to be a lot of pressure against the pool of available men to get involved.

You see comments like...

Where have all the good guys gone?

Why are you so scared?

A real man accepts the child from another father?

This last one is particularly Machiavellian.

And the PC journalists are going into over-drive about it:

http://thoughtcatalog.com/joss-hill/2015/02/a-letter-to-the-scared-guy-dating-the-single-mom/

I read the first link.

Executive Summary: "I want... I want... I want... I want...I want... I want...I want... I want...I want... I want...I want... I want...My child does come first".

Fair enough. She wants this and that and the other. But doesn't need a man.

But is happy to have one that provides her wants, on the periphery of her self-centric family.

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I'd consider it, but I suspect the missus would have words.

My sister is a single mum. All sadly predictable. Late 30s just out of a long term relationship and desperate for kids. Hooks up with a semi-old flame who is basically a psychologically damaged layabout with some charm. Two kids later he clears off.

I can't see how she'd ever have the time to date someone new. Her entire life and conversation revolves around the kids. There is no room for anyone else. Thankfully she seems OK with that.

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For me, no.

Not unless the single mum had some kind of extraordinary advantage to me personally. Like she was a multi-millionaire or something.

So basically the answer is 'no' in 99% of all cases. I would be looking 10-15yrs younger in any event.

Bear In mind Tax credits, child benefit, community charge etc. If you earn £60k+ why would you cohabit with a mum of 2-3, there goes £3-4K net income to her immediately...

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I have once and wouldn't again.

If I'd really thought it through the first time then I wouldn't have allowed myself to fall in love with her. As I don't with the attractive married women at work because I have thought that through.

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The problem is that in the over 30 age range if you filter out single mums all you are left with are those desperate to have kids straight away and dating one of those is probably worse than dating a single mum.

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The problem is that in the over 30 age range if you filter out single mums all you are left with are those desperate to have kids straight away and dating one of those is probably worse than dating a single mum.

Not at all. Why peddle this counsel of despair? There are many other women out there of all stripes, even within the "over 30s" as you term it.

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There's no right and wrong answer to this. It's rather like saying would you buy a silver car. :o

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If I loved that person I would.

I think where love is involved, common sense goes out of the window.

Nothing wrong about that. Life is a gamble.

It could go wrong, but then without taking risks for happiness you just end up a miserable husk of a human being.

Correct.....dating someone does not mean marrying them......there again marriage is no guarantee of anything.

Edit to say: for every single mum there is a single dad......should they be avoided? ;)

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There's no right and wrong answer to this. It's rather like saying would you buy a silver car. :o

True, but there is a personal answer to this and that's how it's phrased.

If it was would you date a bloke (as a bloke) then for most men there is a clear yes / no answer.

There doesn't have to be, there isn't a right answer or something you should or shouldn't do, but there can be an answer.

And yes I have bought a silver car. Twice. It's a good colour for not showing the dirt until it's practically black.

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Correct.....dating someone does not mean marrying them......there again marriage is no guarantee of anything.

Edit to say: for every single mum there is a single dad......should they be avoided? ;)

IMO they should be matching up, single parent dating (where both are) should be much bigger than it is.

That it isn't should give childless men and women pause for thought about who they're dating.

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There are many single dads. What about that? Are women worried about that? I never bought a silver car.

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The problem is that in the over 30 age range if you filter out single mums all you are left with are those desperate to have kids straight away and dating one of those is probably worse than dating a single mum.

IMO they should be matching up, single parent dating (where both are) should be much bigger than it is.

That it isn't should give childless men and women pause for thought about who they're dating.

See statement above..... :rolleyes:

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How much is her house worth and is it mortgage free?

Always a good question, but you won't get any of it, unless you do something very illegal, like insure her for a lot and get someone to kill her.

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There are many single dads. What about that? Are women worried about that? I never bought a silver car.

Nothing wrong with single dads or mums.....kids can't choose their parents. ;)

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