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Let Us Entertain You...

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A local weekly freesheet, which I happened to see this afternoon, has a four page, wrap-around outer cover with a big headline: "PROPERTY MONEY WELL SPENT".

It looks to me like one of those paid, "advertisment "features (though it doesn't identify itself as such).

The front page is about a Wimpey development of new flats in Coventry. It features two twenty-somethings, Steve Carvell and Chris Campton (dark suits, black shirts, white ties big grins, posing in constructions hats) whom it describe as "seasoned investors". They have bought five of the flats for "buy to let investment purposes" and their story is being used persuade others into doing the same thing.

Really made me laugh. The only thing "seasoned" about them is the salt and pepper on the vast amount of cabbage they must be eating to stay so green. Here is a taste of their "seasoned" property wisdom:

"We believe there's not really a bad time to buy because short term things will pick up - and with property you will always make money in the long term."

Great. To be a "seasoned investor" the most important bit of knowledge you need to have is that "there's not really a bad time to buy". Pretty easy that. Wow, I could be a "seasoned investor" too!

But hang on, I wonder if they apply that wisdom to all their financial exchanges?

"Shares in Rover? Buy now! There's not really a bad time to buy, you know."

"Madonna's concert yesterday? We'll snap up the tickets to sell on. There's not really a bad time to buy. We're seasoned and we know."

"Berts on the Titanic? We queued to buy them. And we're glad we did. Despite being dead we still feel there's not really a bad time to buy."

Back to reality. A better picture of the actual situation on the market is found in the property section of the same paper:

Main headline of the section: "Three bed Nuneaton semi has been reduced in price."

A full page ad by Newman Estate Agents offering "5% cashback or Deposit Paid" on ALL house sales (not just new flats);

A full page ad by Orchard Developments offering "Properties bought for Cash", "Reposessions Stopped" and "Sell and Rent Back Schemes Available"

An EA ad featuring 42 properties for sale of which 17 are "No Chain".

On the back of the wrap around front cover there is an invitation from Wimpey to a "Fun for all the family event", held at another of their developments. Apparently if I reserve one at the houses this weekend thy'll give me a "state-of-the art entertainment centre". "Let us entertain you!" it says. Well thanks but no thanks. You've really given me a big enough laugh this week already.

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On the back of the wrap around front cover there is an invitation from Wimpey to a "Fun for all the family event", held at another of their developments. Apparently if I reserve one at the houses this weekend thy'll give me a "state-of-the art entertainment centre". "Let us entertain you!" it says. Well thanks but no thanks. You've really given me a big enough laugh this week already.

Desparation, desparation, desparatiooooooon that's what you need

If you want to invest

If you want to beat the rest

Desparation's what you need

If you want to be a buy to let inveeeeeestoooooooooor, yeah!

(with acknowlegments to the late great Roy Castle)

That sounds like a top laugh and a cracking read to boot. Our property section is due out tomorrow *rubs hands*

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Our weekly property freesheet is also out on a Thursday.

Tonight's had a great headline informing me that apparently, "the big property sale is back".

The reason for this being that Connells (on of our local(?) EA's) is "once again giving customers the chance to pick up the biggest bargain of their lives".

Surely they mean the "chance to buy an overpriced 1 bed hovel in the least pleasant end of town and pay for it for the rest of your life"?

The front page then goes on to say that properties are being offered with reductions of up to 10%(10%?!! Where do I sign?) by genuine sellers who are committed (read desperate) to move and have "agreed" to drop the price to achieve a quick sale.

This EA's section then follows and contains a large number of New/New Price/No Chain and Was £240k, Now £235K type discounts

I think the best one I saw was: Was £358,950, Now £358,950. That's some heavy discounting going on there... :blink:

The best actual discount I could see was £199,950 down to £189,950 3 bed end of terrace, fairly new build.

The pages also have a nice "Sale - 5%-10% reductions" on many properties graphic. Nice.

Also contained within this heavy 64 page tome were sections titled: "is buying off plan the way forward?", and "buy one - get one free", which advises the reader that if they buy a home in a new development in Corby, they could win (odds of 100-1, which isn't that bad TBH), a 2 bed appartment (market value *ahem* £95K).

Sounds to me like the developers just trying desperately to get people to buy. Maybe I'm being cynical?

The rest of the paper contained the usual Mortgage Advice/Problem Mortgage/Rent2Buy cr@p.

I'd say things are definitely moving in the right direction...

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  • 301 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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