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Lord Lucan

The World According To The Rics

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FREDDIE and MAC - two stockbrokers are sitting side by side infront of an array of screens showing graphs and lists of numbers. The two in their mid 20s are sharply dressed with slicked hair. Both wear brightly coloured braces. Freddie is on the phone (to a client). He is talking in a loud plummy voice.


You've got to buy now, we are setting the prices on shares

of B2L Corp at at 150...sure it was 80 yesterday but this thing is

going balistic...you're good for 5000?...OK great.

Freddie slams down the phone. Mac turns to Freddie looking puzzled.


Hang on Freddie, B2L were only trading at 40 last week, the

fundamentals are 40-50 at best.


(Shaking his head)

Mac, did you not read the memo? We've adopted a new pricing

strategy. It's called the RICS model. We wildly overvalue the shares,

but in a rapidly rising market it doesn't matter because they'll catch

up anyway.


But aren't we just artificially fuelling a market for our own ends? Won't

the FSA kick your ass?

Freddie looks sternly at MAC.


Firstly, you never utter such things and secondly, this model is immune

from all investigation.



Oh right, sorry.

Mac stands up and starts waving his hands in the air.



Hey everyone, we're going to be millionaires.

The whole dealing room erupts into cheers. A bottle of champagne is poured over Mac's head.



Would format it properly but tcan't be done here.

Edited by Lord Lucan

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  • 302 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

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      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
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