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Is It Just Me

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There is a book just out with the title -

Is it just me or is everything sh*t?

It has some House Price references in it.

Surely the perfect present for many on this site.

Did anyone get it for xmas? or buy it for someone else?

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I saw it and grinned - I bought the one next to it called "Britain: What a State" which is kind of full of official looking forms and documents which have been, er, modified slightly. Some of it is quite funny.

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Surely the perfect present for many on this site.

Did anyone get it for xmas? or buy it for someone else?

It's not that good, your money would be equally well spent at a student bar, buy a couple of pseudo-marxists a few drinks and ask them what's wrong with the world, you'll get the same answers as this book, capitalism, business parks, cars, Thatcher, air travel, factory farming, etc, despite all that the state is always virtuous, private enterprise is automatically pathological and remorseless, and the welfare state "just is".

It's the same old hackneyed stuff people have been hearing since the 60's, but the problems we face today are due to the failed answers from all those hears ago, the original problems aren't the issue anymore.

You won't find anything original or insightful in the book, amusing though it may seem due to its sheer superficiality.

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Yes Wifey bought me it!

Property ladder, the

A marvellous system that separates society into two camps: the smug and the damned.

Downsizers

Jennifer Lopez recently told cosmopolitan she was jumping aboard the downsizeing bandwagon

‘You get to a point where you want to strip down,’ the singer-actress explained.

‘I’m going to sell that big museum-type house and get a nice cosy house, and I’m going to

have one car and trade the others in. I want to go back to something simpler.’

It doesn’t matter how many rocks that she’s got she’s just Jenny the former marketing

executive from Islington moving to a croft on Stornoway.

Clearly, there are many ways of being less tosserish in life.

But surely, one of those ways involves not farting on and on about how much your standard

of living has improved since you ‘cut out all the crap and left all that mess behind’.

It’s no big deal- you are, after all, probably just living around people who never upsized

in the first place; in the process , pushing up the property prices to the point that

they too have to ‘downsize’, to a tent.

Estate Agents showing people around houses on telly

Estate agent : So, here’s the bathroom.

Person on the telly: Okay...

Estate agent : And, uh,the second bedroom - quite a nice size...

Person on the telly: Mmmm.

It’s amazing how often you can see estate agents showing people around houses on telly.

Improving the value of your property

Houses aren’t for living in, they’re for making cash out of. A good kitchen in a £100k

property can add 10%. The introduction of a classic bathroom, that might cost just £4k

can instantly add £1 million to the asking price.

But it’s easy for beginners to make mistakes, so here we recommend our

Twelve quick ways not to improve the value of your home

- which is probably going to be shown on the telly next year:

1. Ruthlessly cut out all the natural light with ripped up rubbish sacks over the windows.

2. Scatter pigs’ entrails around the landing.

3. Put a big sign on the door saying: ‘Jesus loves this house’.

4. Shit on the floor.

5. Open up the hallway as a public bridleway.

6. Pretend it’s built upon an ancient American Indian burial ground.

7. Disappear into the loft. And never come down.

8. In the middle of the living room , build a little wooden town for 15 - strong mouse troupe

to scurry about in. Call this mouse town.

9. Redirect the sewers in any way whatsoever - they’re probably connected in the right way

anyway.

10. Take in waifs and strays.

11. Replace your cooker with a tiny plastic one made for children that doesn’t even have

connections to gas or electrics.

12. Burn the f**ker to the ground.

There is some good ones on Blair and Brown but I’ve got a fancy dress to go to.

happy new year everyone :)

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  • 301 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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