Will You Feel Guilty ?

[iLegallyBlonde]

I know I will, I just will catholic upbringing.

Today I bought a 2nd hand pram, it's burberry print so for the fact that I would have to look like a knob pushing it I knocked them down another £50 over the phone. When I got to the house I just couldn't do it, they needed that £50 more than I ever will and I "accidently" over paid them.

I won't be doing that with the house obviously but I hope I never meet anyone being reposessed.

[the don]

you did the right thing with the pram -assuming that the extra £50 was affordable to you.

i think when buying a house the view you need to take is teht todays prices are generally unreasonably high..

if the sale is due to actual or impending repossession then i think you have to accept that it is part of life.

there but for the grace of god go any of us.

the house price crash will be a good thing for most, eventually, but there will be lots of casualties.

who said life is fair?

[2005]

I know I will, I just will catholic upbringing.

Today I bought a 2nd hand pram, it's burberry print so for the fact that I would have to look like a knob pushing it I knocked them down another £50 over the phone. When I got to the house I just couldn't do it, they needed that £50 more than I ever will and I "accidently" over paid them.

I won't be doing that with the house obviously but I hope I never meet anyone being reposessed.

err...sorry... burberry print? how much did it cost if they could accept a £50 reduction? what did it cost new?...how much did you pay for that pram with or without the £50 reduction?

Sounds like if they could afford a pram that cost that much then they don't need the £50 reduction on a second hand pram...if they need the £50 that much then they shouldn't be buying a pram that cost that much.

This is exactly what is wrong with society today (not directed at you but at the couple selling the pram)

Question....how many people do you know that can remember what pram they had when they were 6 months old?

Does any one really think that the type of pram a new born baby has is directly related to furture success in life?

Save your money...

Do not buy designer prams.

Do not buy toys for 6 month old kids that cost £50.

Do not buy Next party dresses for 3 year old girls.

Do not...for one minute...think that if your child does not have that black and white mobile that costs £30 and is supposed to stimulate eye hand co-ordination, that your child will never be a multi national lawyer with a 1st from oxford.

Give your kids a cardboard box - give them love - talk to them - play them music - teach them about our wonderful countryside and about nature - teach them about history - make sure they have lots of books - let them explore/get dirty/make mistakes.

Burberry/fisher price/little tykes/cartoon network ect...do not raise kids - parents do.

Do not feel guilty about the pram - if they can afford the drop they can afford it - if they can't then they are daft with money.

[iLegallyBlonde]

New the pram was £500 hence i was buying it 2nd hand, for £150. it is lovely but more for me than the baby I appreciate that. And in having that one I can save money by walking into town instead of driving in the better weather.

Anyway I know what you mean, people look down their noses at my children dressed in Marks and Spencers instead of D&G, but I will have the last laugh I'm sure my children will be delighted when we pay for their education and wedding's instead.

Edited December 30, 2005 by terrified

[2005]

New the pram was £500 hence i was buying it 2nd hand, it is lovely but more for me than the baby I appreciate that.

£500 new - then they either didn't need your charity or they are just stupid - you should not have 'accidently' overpaid them IMO

Anyway I know what you mean, people look down their noses at my children dressed in Marks and Spencers instead of D&G,

Please tell me you are joking...they look down on you because your kids are dressed in M&S!!!!...no please...please....you are mixing in the wrong circles...please tell me you have more values than this.

You are right of course...when you pay for their education and wedding you will have the last laugh.

Please..please..get some new friends.

My son is 15 - he has a playstation and a mobile phone - he also gives money to charity out of his pocket money.

He has special needs (he is autistic/aspergers) but he knows there are children in this world that don't have a mummy and daddy - that don't have toys etc and he donates old toys and money to the needy.

FFS - is it any wonder we have a greedy, self serving society (not directed at you) when kids are rasied thinking that the sign of being a good citizen is dressing in designer jeans...

[apom]

£500 new - then they either didn't need your charity or they are just stupid - you should not have 'accidently' overpaid them IMO

Please tell me you are joking...they look down on you because your kids are dressed in M&S!!!!...no please...please....you are mixing in the wrong circles...please tell me you have more values than this.

You are right of course...when you pay for their education and wedding you will have the last laugh.

Please..please..get some new friends.

My son is 15 - he has a playstation and a mobile phone - he also gives money to charity out of his pocket money.

He has special needs (he is autistic/aspergers) but he knows there are children in this world that don't have a mummy and daddy - that don't have toys etc and he donates old toys and money to the needy.

FFS - is it any wonder we have a greedy, self serving society (not directed at you) when kids are rasied thinking that the sign of being a good citizen is dressing in designer jeans...

Or it was a present from a well meaning family member.

they are struggling because kids are expensive...

Perhaps they are proud and paying their own way..

struggling.. but living their lives... not whining on here..

Its hard, but not everyone out there in a different position to us is a fool to be scorned.

[iLegallyBlonde]

£500 new - then they either didn't need your charity or they are just stupid - you should not have 'accidently' overpaid them IMO

Please tell me you are joking...they look down on you because your kids are dressed in M&S!!!!...no please...please....you are mixing in the wrong circles...please tell me you have more values than this.

You are right of course...when you pay for their education and wedding you will have the last laugh.

Please..please..get some new friends.

My son is 15 - he has a playstation and a mobile phone - he also gives money to charity out of his pocket money.

He has special needs (he is autistic/aspergers) but he knows there are children in this world that don't have a mummy and daddy - that don't have toys etc and he donates old toys and money to the needy.

FFS - is it any wonder we have a greedy, self serving society (not directed at you) when kids are rasied thinking that the sign of being a good citizen is dressing in designer jeans...

To be fair we don't actually have many friends in the North after dropping some who thought we should take our kids out of private education to pay for more TV's and holidays. We have now actually taken them out anyway but not for that reason.

It's probably my imagination but I do get the feeling that our neighbours feel quite sorry for us because we are only renting and I drive an oldish car. One came in for a coffee, had one look at our knackered sofa and said "oh you've got nothing have you", no but we don't owe anything either

The children are going to be going to the local state school after Easter and I do feel this huge pressure to go and buy a 4x4 and get myself a make over so the girls aren't embarrased by their parents, hubs refuses to conform which is fine for him but I don't want the children bullied because of it.

It's hard to keep children grounded in this day and age but I do intend to try.

[2005]

To be fair we don't actually have many friends in the North after dropping some who thought we should take our kids out of private education to pay for more TV's and holidays. We have now actually taken them out anyway but not for that reason.

It's probably my imagination but I do get the feeling that our neighbours feel quite sorry for us because we are only renting and I drive an oldish car. One came in for a coffee, had one look at our knackered sofa and said "oh you've got nothing have you", no but we don't owe anything either

The children are going to be going to the local state school after Easter and I do feel this huge pressure to go and buy a 4x4 and get myself a make over so the girls aren't embarrased by their parents, hubs refuses to conform which is fine for him but I don't want the children bullied because of it.

It's hard to keep children grounded in this day and age but I do intend to try.

I admire your intention but feel for your situation.

I teach in a tradtional 'redbrick' university...most of our students come from upper class areas (or they pretend to be upper class areas). One of the most grounded students I ever came across was a very wealthy student from ****, (best public school in the country). He was mature, grounded and had a good sense of his social status.

I have nothing agaisnt kids who are fortunate to have private ed/D&G outfits etc......but they can still have a sense of how luck they are.

Your husband is right.....why do you think that many people who campaign for human rights/the environment/world poverty etc are actually from a very wealthy and fortunate background?

It is because they understand that they had many opportunities that others don't have and they take their social status and use it for the good of others.

One of my friends has a son who has had many 'breaks' in life....he is now using those 'breaks' to train as a lawyer to help people in other countries e.g death row/amnesty international etc.

You can have wealth and do social good...it doesn't have to be one or the other.

Good luck...just keep grounded

P.S 'you don't have anyting'...this will, IMO, be 'next seasons black'...in a few years it will be oh so trendy to be green...to get bargains...to economise...to give to chairty etc etc....you will be ahead of the game...why not start your own trand?

[frugalista]

The children are going to be going to the local state school after Easter and I do feel this huge pressure to go and buy a 4x4 and get myself a make over so the girls aren't embarrased by their parents, hubs refuses to conform which is fine for him but I don't want the children bullied because of it.

Sounds to me that the kids already have a lot to be proud about in their parents.

If kids are getting bullied in state schools coz they don't show up in an armoured personnel carrier there is something very wierd about that school.

I was quite privileged as a kid (good home, good state school, loving parents, new clothes and other stuff now and again etc) but was still different enough to get snide remarks from some others from time to time. If someone wants to bully you they will find something to be the subject of their derision no matter how hard you try to fit in.

In time I noticed that every single time I do my own thing it seems to pay off! So now I do not give a monkeys what anyone else thinks about me in any way. It is the only way to be happy really. I am almost finding it hard to imagine your "pressure to conform" as an adult, I think I must have mislaid that emotion aged about 15.

By the way, your "friend" who came round for coffee -- How rude! He/she sounds like a bully to me.

frugalista

[ʎqɐqɹǝʞɐɥs]

It's hard to keep children grounded in this day and age but I do intend to try.

Lets leave this one to the late great Bill

ADVERTISING AND MARKETING

By the way if anyone here is in advertising or marketing... kill yourself. No, no, no it's just a little thought. I'm just trying to plant seeds. Maybe one day, they'll take root - I don't know. You try, you do what you can. Kill yourself. Seriously though, if you are, do. Aaah, no really, there's no rationalisation for what you do and you are Satan's little helpers. Okay - kill yourself - seriously. You are the ruiner of all things good, seriously. No this is not a joke, you're going, "there's going to be a joke coming," there's no ******ing joke coming. You are Satan's spawn filling the world with bile and garbage. You are ******ed and you are ******ing us. Kill yourself. It's the only way to save your ******ing soul, kill yourself. Planting seeds. I know all the marketing people are going, "he's doing a joke... there's no joke here whatsoever. Suck a tail-pipe, ******ing hang yourself, borrow a gun from a Yank friend - I don't care how you do it. Rid the world of your evil ******ing makinations. Machi... Whatever, you know what I mean.

I know what all the marketing people are thinking right now too, "Oh, you know what Bill's doing, he's going for that anti-marketing dollar. That's a good market, he's very smart." Oh man, I am not doing that. You ******ing evil scumbags! "Ooh, you know what Bill's doing now, he's going for the righteous indignation dollar. That's a big dollar. A lot of people are feeling that indignation. We've done research - huge market. He's doing a good thing." Godammit, I'm not doing that, you scum-bags! Quit putting a godamm dollar sign on every ******ing thing on this planet! "Ooh, the anger dollar. Huge. Huge in times of recession. Giant market, Bill's very bright to do that." God, I'm just caught in a ******ing web. "Ooh the trapped dollar, big dollar, huge dollar. Good market - look at our research. We see that many people feel trapped. If we play to that and then separate them into the trapped dollar..." How do you live like that? And I bet you sleep like ******ing babies at night, don't you?" "What didya do today honey?" "Oh, we made ah, we made ah arsenic a childhood food now, goodnight." [snores] "Yeah we just said you know is your baby really too loud? You know," [snores] "Yeah, you know the mums will love it." [snores] Sleep like ******ing children, don't ya, this is your world isn't it?

[theChuz]

The children are going to be going to the local state school after Easter and I do feel this huge pressure to go and buy a 4x4 and get myself a make over so the girls aren't embarrased by their parents, hubs refuses to conform which is fine for him but I don't want the children bullied because of it.

It's hard to keep children grounded in this day and age but I do intend to try.

umm theres plenty of stuff to bully a kid over and parents not having a 4x4 is pretty low on the list. They are more likely to be bullied for going to a private school previously, for having dodgy hair, for being fat, for talking funny, because they are new.

Having a 4x4 will get your kids a 'posh' taunting

Having a mother thats had a makeover will get them a "your mamma's a slag" taunting

The cool thing is that it will come from the other parents who dont have a 4x4 or cant afford a makeover they will make sniping remarks in earshot of thier kids, then the kids will take it to thier world.

Everyone always wants the best for thier kids but i really do think that sometimes thier defensive actions do more harm than good

EDITED:

To answer the initial question of whether i will feel guilty.. not in the slightest, infact guilt will be the emotion furthest away from me. I probably wont even have a degree of sympathy. My friends have parents that will bail them out, my family has nothing to lose really anyways. My sis has her own place with a mortgage of 52K (because she bought 5 years ago of). Even if she lost her job she could easily pick up another that will cover the mortgage.

I live in a council house with my mum nuff said really.

I dont wish bad things upon anyone else but if they happen .. tough, im tierd of everyone in society always being a victim - im to fat because i am a victim of advertising, im to thin because im a victim of peer presure, im a scumbag because im a victim of a bad upbringing. Then when the fat person becomes thin they are a survivor.

It truley p*sses me off, people need to take responsibility. They need to learn that society owes them nothing. They need to learn that there are people out there like me who couldnt give a damn if they dropped down dead. The world isn't all fluffy and pink so people need to stop pretending that it is.

No i wont feel guilty.

Edited December 31, 2005 by theChuz

[PostalVote]

err...sorry... burberry print? how much did it cost if they could accept a £50 reduction? what did it cost new?...how much did you pay for that pram with or without the £50 reduction?

Sounds like if they could afford a pram that cost that much then they don't need the £50 reduction on a second hand pram...if they need the £50 that much then they shouldn't be buying a pram that cost that much.

This is exactly what is wrong with society today (not directed at you but at the couple selling the pram)

Question....how many people do you know that can remember what pram they had when they were 6 months old?

Does any one really think that the type of pram a new born baby has is directly related to furture success in life?

Save your money...

Do not buy designer prams.

Do not buy toys for 6 month old kids that cost £50.

Do not buy Next party dresses for 3 year old girls.

Do not...for one minute...think that if your child does not have that black and white mobile that costs £30 and is supposed to stimulate eye hand co-ordination, that your child will never be a multi national lawyer with a 1st from oxford.

Give your kids a cardboard box - give them love - talk to them - play them music - teach them about our wonderful countryside and about nature - teach them about history - make sure they have lots of books - let them explore/get dirty/make mistakes.

Burberry/fisher price/little tykes/cartoon network ect...do not raise kids - parents do.

Do not feel guilty about the pram - if they can afford the drop they can afford it - if they can't then they are daft with money.

Spot on. I don't see why children are so expensive to raise, and falling for the fad of the week new age toys for hand eye co-ordination will accomplish nothing that can't be done with a bucket and spade. Fair enough, I don't have kids, but a lot of thought has been given to the matter.

No TV in the bedroom, no branded clothing, no junk food, no mini moto to terrorise the neighbours. Just the time, love and respect of attentive parents.

New the pram was £500 hence i was buying it 2nd hand, for £150. it is lovely but more for me than the baby I appreciate that. And in having that one I can save money by walking into town instead of driving in the better weather.

Anyway I know what you mean, people look down their noses at my children dressed in Marks and Spencers instead of D&G, but I will have the last laugh I'm sure my children will be delighted when we pay for their education and wedding's instead.

No, your children will have the last laugh when you pay for their wedding. Help them out by all means, but there is no harm in managing their expectations from day one.

As for the original question. I look at it this way, we are a one car familly, our mortage is tiny and we are struggling to find better paid jobs; but when I look on the street, our car is the oldest, ours is the only drive that hasn't been re-paved or the guttering replaced. I go in to town to buy a tax disc and I'm sat in traffic, then I spend 30 minutes trying to park (still quicker than the bus though), in town there are hoards of hairy shoppers obstructing my simple task. I would love to go out and fill the house with tat, the drive does need attention and the car is on first name terms with the RAC, but to me the numbers don't add up. The area cannot support so many people on salaries neccessary for the lifestyle of this sleepy suburb. The secret to this everlasting spending spree is debt.

When the day comes that the neighbour's BMW is replaced with a Fiesta full of tat on its way to the car boot sale, what exactly will I have to feel to guilty about? That I'm not stood at the stall next them trying to undercut his plasma tele to put some food on the table? Obviously, when the RepoMan cometh, my heart strings will twang a little, but guilt?