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Gordons Song 4

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You could hear the dollar beating the pound

As they raced across the arab ground

And the clatter of the big war wheels

As they sun span spin round and round

And he galloped into Downing Street

Labour badge proud upon chest

His name was Crash Gordon

And he drove the fastest rises in the west

Now Gordon loved a widow

A lady known as Social Sue

She lived all alone in Linley Lane

At number twenty two

They said she was no good for work

She was haughty, pregnant and chic

But Gordon sent your taxes there

Three times every week

They called him Gordon.

And he drove the youngest exodus in the west

She said she'd like to drink free milk

He said alright sweetheart

And when he finished balancing books one night

He loaded up the cart

He said you wanted family tax

Coz unsigned pay is best

She says Gordon I'll be happy

If it comes to be in a gold chest

And that tickled old Gordon

And he broke the fastest economic slump in the west

Now Gordon had a rival

An evil looking man

Called Two Ton Prescot from Preston

And he wrote the hunting ban

He tempted her with his treacle tarts

And his tasty schools wholemeal bread

And when she saw the size

Of his hot benefit rise

It very near turned her head

She nearly swooned at his macaroon

And he said now if you treat me right

You'll have pop tarts every morning

And x-factor every night

He knew once she'd sampled his layer cake

He'd have his wicked way

And all Gordon had to offer

Was a poll tax rise each day

Poor Gordon

And he fuelled the fastest price bubble in the west

One lunchtime News Prescot saw Gordons jag outside the PMs door

It drove him mad to find it was still there at half past four

And as he leaped down from of his euro plane

Hot blood through his veins did course

And he went across to Gordons office

And he didn'arf kick his ass

Who's name was Mervyn

And he pulled the fastest blinkers in the west

Now Gordon rushed out into downing street

economic miracles in his hand

He said if you want to find tax for social susie

You'll fight for it like a man

Oh why don't we play cards for her

He sneeringly replied

And just to make it interesting

We'll have a shilling on the side

Now Gordon dragged Prescot from the burger van

And beneath the blazing sun

They stood there face to face

And Prescot phoned the sun

But Gordon was to quick

Things didn't go the way Prescot planned

And a strawberry flavoured tax rise

Sent the phone spinning from his hand

Now Social sue she ran between them

And tried to keep them apart

And Gordon pushed her aside

And a rock cake caught him underneath his heart

And he looked up in pained surprise

As the concrete hardened crust

Of a stale pork pie caught him in the eye

And Gordon policies bit the dust

Poor Gordon

And he drove the fastest downturn in the west

Gordon was only fifty-two, he didn't want to politically die

Now he's gone to make economic miracles

In that bank up in the sky

Where the customers are all angels

And difficult taxes are banned

And a chancellors life is full of fun

In that fairy house price land

But a claimant's needs are many fold

And social Sue she married Prescot

But strange things happened on their wedding night

As they lay the foundations of an anti right

Was that the IRs a rustling

Or the hinges of the gate

Or Gordons ghostly gold rush a rattling in their crate

They won't forget Gordon

And he drove the fastest house crash in the west

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  • 341 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?

      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%

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