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GrizzlyDave

The Relentless Grind

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Anyone else feel like they are on a treadmill, a relentless grind of get up, commuting 1-2hrs to work, putting in a solid day, commuting 1-2, kids, dinner, TV, sleep (repeat). No end in sight. God I'm tired.

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Anyone else feel like they are on a treadmill, a relentless grind of get up, commuting 1-2hrs to work, putting in a solid day, commuting 1-2, kids, dinner, TV, sleep (repeat). No end in sight. God I'm tired.

Absolutely!

Earning money to pay off a few bills, the rent and council tax. Feeling mot much better off with every annual pay rise. If I am lucky I may be able to save a little cash at the end of each month. :blink:

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Have a so called middle class income yet have a working class lifestyle and no holidays, drive a 10 year old car, have a mortgage till I'm 65 and an underfunded pension. Have come to the conclusion that going galt is increasingly the best option instead of working myself to an early death for effectively nothing.

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Anyone else feel like they are on a treadmill, a relentless grind of get up, commuting 1-2hrs to work, putting in a solid day, commuting 1-2, kids, dinner, TV, sleep (repeat). No end in sight. God I'm tired.

Yes, sometimes it gets like that. Personally I don't do the TV bit as I found it was eating away at the 1 or 2 hours in the evening of 'me' time after kids in bed and cleaned up etc.

The realisation I've had is that it is so important that you have a job you enjoy or at least can get satisfaction from.

Otherwise it feels like a grind because that's exactly what it is.

Slaving for a wage at something you don't have any passion for is a waste of your life no matter how big the salary.

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I earn good money any enjoy my work (contracting). I am sole bread winner, so feel the responsibility to 'better our lot' is done to me. The more I work, the more we save. There is no help from grandparents, so my wife and I get no escape. Get out one or twice a year for anniversaries and birthdays and that is it. Weekends are recovering, cleaning, entertaining children, DIY. My hobbies ended ages ago. That's my life.

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Not a great advert for having kids GrizzlyDave.

Ours are now nearly 10 and 11 and getting a lot more independent. It does get a bit easier and my wife and I have recently started going out to a local pub every friday night to unwind after the working week. She has been a student for the last 5 years and is now on a new qualified teachers salary which gives us a bit of disposable income; which is a nice change.

Our weekends are still much like yours though. Worse for my wife as she spends most of the weekend working.

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I am being honest. Love my kids, love my family, but the situation is relentless grind. Some grandparents I know have the grand kids once a month, heck some even pick them up from school. It must make such a huge difference.

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Thinking through this stuff right now. I've been fortunate to have had quite an interesting (but not especially well paid) career to date. Find myself earning more than ever before but am presently chained to a desk at work and get one day working out of the office roughly every six months. I live very close by, which means minimal time is lost in commuting. Should I be grateful for the money and time I have now, along with the memories of more varied work in the past and just accept where I am now? Tired of interviews and starting afresh with a different employer...

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Definition of the rat race I guess. Like Streaming says, it is critical to have a job you enjoy otherwise life does become that way. Unfortunately for many of us, including me, we don't fall in that category. I can understand how you feel. The biggest thing that grinds my gears though is the well-paid "corporate" job no longer really guarantees a middle class lifestyle. So you end up wondering whether whoring yourself out for a middle class income is a good use of a life on earth. Least I do anyway. I try not to think about it too much. I do make sure my pension and investments are very well funded though, the thought of doing this until I drop dead is enough of a motivation to take action now. I have just been offered a promotion at work (extra £7k on basic so its not exactly life changing), couldn't have felt more underwhelmed about the whole thing - that has sounded some alarm bells for me. Shouldn't people be happy about that? I tend to feel like a fraud at work these days, its a very hollow feeling pretending to give a s**t all day every day about something I couldn't give 2 f**ks about. Not to mention I begin to question whether an extra £3k or so in my back pocket (after the rest has been raided) is actually worth getting off my **** for.

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When I was 21, I very often had thoughts like, Is this what life will be like for the next few decades or I wish something exciting would happen, instead of this perpetual grind..three weeks paid holiday a year if I was lucky..christ it was a challenge to look very far ahead.

I`m not sure it is as easy to do now, but when I turned 25 I became self employed and have been for 35 years.The first 15 years were the worst. :mellow:

After that I realised half the battle is to do with outlook and to value what you have instead of what you would like. If you can find something that generates money regularly and is not a pipe dream of a business, then the benefits of being self employed can be significent in regards to having more freedoms. Its not all freedoms as there are some restrictions that come with it but on balance the positives outweigh the negatives..

My pet hates of working for the big man, would be commuting.. listening to system people at a work place..having to accept the box we have been put in..the blame game of it being everyone elses fault..depending on the culture at some work places it can either drive you down or hopefully open your mind up somewhat.

If you work in a closed environment without new stimulus, it can be depressing, but meeting the general public on the other hand, from all walks of life,and really listening, can be an eye opener.

Edited by GinAndPlatonic

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For me I got into contracting to a)have variety, b)earn more, c)avoid the HR bull tulip. Have saved £50k in last couple of years, a couple more years at it and I am hoping it will be life changing. Had no BOMAD so down to me.

I'm waiting for the crash, I can smell it coming. No way this can last.

But commuting 4 hours a day is a killer. I can only do this for so long.

Ha, promos and pay rises, yeah I don't miss the corporate bull tulip!

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I earn good money any enjoy my work (contracting). I am sole bread winner, so feel the responsibility to 'better our lot' is done to me. The more I work, the more we save. There is no help from grandparents, so my wife and I get no escape. Get out one or twice a year for anniversaries and birthdays and that is it. Weekends are recovering, cleaning, entertaining children, DIY. My hobbies ended ages ago. That's my life.

Very similar to our situation, both our parents aren't local and the wife's family is in Asia. I'm also sole bread winner, that's the main problem as society is absolutely geared up for two salaries if you want to have all the trimmings or heaven forbid, buy a property.

You must make time for something you want to do if you don't get that from your work. I owe a lot to my wife for letting me have one or even occasionally two nights a week after our daughter was born to keep my main hobby going which is martial arts and is an excellent stress release.

They say change is as good as a rest which I've often found to be true.

Edited by streamingfreedom

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Anyone else feel like they are on a treadmill, a relentless grind of get up, commuting 1-2hrs to work, putting in a solid day, commuting 1-2, kids, dinner, TV, sleep (repeat). No end in sight. God I'm tired.

Grizzly - yes, this is very common for millions of people. Can you talk to your wife about it and what might have to change? You need to tackle the problem together, not suffer in silence. BUT couch it in terms of doing something better for her and the kids, not that you can't face it for another 20 years. (cos women hate weakness in men)

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Grizzly - yes, this is very common for millions of people. Can you talk to your wife about it and what might have to change? You need to tackle the problem together, not suffer in silence. BUT couch it in terms of doing something better for her and the kids, not that you can't face it for another 20 years. (cos women hate weakness in men)

What do I say, I'm exhausted and sick of working myself to death chasing a stupid property market that has been created by greed?

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Grizzly - yes, this is very common for millions of people. Can you talk to your wife about it and what might have to change? You need to tackle the problem together, not suffer in silence. BUT couch it in terms of doing something better for her and the kids, not that you can't face it for another 20 years. (cos women hate weakness in men)

I was thinking something similar. What can Grizzly change?

Without talking about the OP I think many people enjoy the grind, the trench warfare, they find a certain comfort in the routine and drudgery. There's a guy I see occasionally who is always moaning that I never seem to work (I haven't had "proper" job since my mid 20s, apart from a brief interlude in Geneva) and that's he's just a serf working for The Man. He was talking of going to Australia where he has contacts but next thing he moves house doubling his mortgage - when his kids are close to leaving home and his old house (a 4 bedder) was fine. I asked about his emigration dreams and he said that after 20 years working for his current company he couldn't just leave as he'd built up a big stack of redundancy pay if they wanted to get rid of him. As for the house - he wanted somewhere bigger than mine as a middle manager should live somewhere better than a dosser.

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The motorcycle black madonna
Two-wheeled gypsy queen
And her silver-studded phantom cause
The gray flannel dwarf to scream
As he weeps to wicked birds of prey
Who pick up on his bread crumb sins
And there are no sins inside the Gates of Eden

The kingdoms of Experience
In the precious wind they rot
While paupers change possessions
Each one wishing for what the other has got
And the princess and the prince
Discuss what’s real and what is not
It doesn’t matter inside the Gates of Eden

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Ha, sorry it's contractor parlance I've picked up.

Tulip = sh:t

Nice, I shall use that. You're right to disdain all things HR, they're the blight of the modern working world as far as I'm concerned. Back when I started in the workforce all they did was make sure the wages were paid, which was exactly what they should have stuck with. And don't get me started on the destructiveness of the annual review process....

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Nice, I shall use that. You're right to disdain all things HR, they're the blight of the modern working world as far as I'm concerned. Back when I started in the workforce all they did was make sure the wages were paid, which was exactly what they should have stuck with. And don't get me started on the destructiveness of the annual review process....

ha, yes the PDR process, greens and reds, interview for next level. Such a load of monumental tulip.

Working for yourself is great. None of that rubbish. It's like being a grown up having been treated like a kid.

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What do I say, I'm exhausted and sick of working myself to death chasing a stupid property market that has been created by greed?

well, no, its up to you what language you use. But how about "I don't like commuting and working so many hours that I never get any quality time for you and the kids. The housing market is fixed by the government against people like us in the south east. How about we look into a real change so we have a better life?"

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Crikey this thread is making me feel better in a strange way. Decent income,no kids (yet?), and a business I love running. Do feel the daily grind sometimes but doesn't everyone?

Edited by spunko2010

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Yes, sometimes it gets like that. Personally I don't do the TV bit as I found it was eating away at the 1 or 2 hours in the evening of 'me' time after kids in bed and cleaned up etc.

The realisation I've had is that it is so important that you have a job you enjoy or at least can get satisfaction from.

Otherwise it feels like a grind because that's exactly what it is.

Slaving for a wage at something you don't have any passion for is a waste of your life no matter how big the salary.

^^^

This is SO true. I was doing a job that paid good money, quite good money ... but it was killing me. there was zero promotion prospects, the chosen few were given preferntial treatment. I was workingin the NHS and ... after a while I stoped caring. That was a bad sign.

I re-traiined, took a career break ... and now I do a job that I genuinely enjoy. Moneywise I'm pretty much back to where I was, but, more importantly I feel happy. I have better job, career and money prospects. I work with a really good team of people, my line managers respect me and offer training.

... but like the earlier poster said I feel I'm just doing the f*cking treadmill thing. I too have a middle-class salary but working class lifestyle :(

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I earn good money any enjoy my work (contracting). I am sole bread winner, so feel the responsibility to 'better our lot' is done to me. The more I work, the more we save. There is no help from grandparents, so my wife and I get no escape. Get out one or twice a year for anniversaries and birthdays and that is it. Weekends are recovering, cleaning, entertaining children, DIY. My hobbies ended ages ago. That's my life.

To be fair though, it is the life you chose.

Marriage and the inevitable children that follow are all choices. You can decide against marriage right up to the moment when you are at the altar.

Edited by Errol

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