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DTMark

I Cooked Dinner Tonight

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Bugger off to Mumsnet. Hope you didn't miss a vary poor Death in Paradise.

No, saw that. Wasn't great. I got the killer and the sender of the SMS message the wrong way around and was kicking myself.

I'd even washed up by then and put the plates away.

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So, are you the 'male' in the relationship would you say? Is this what happens?

Yes, that's fairly accurate. I'm the one that mends things.

Actually my partner tends to do the cooking because he likes spicy things which he finds filling, and I can't eat very spicy food. I can't really cook for him most of the time. So it is more nuanced than "You're just a lazy git".

Emboldened by this evening's outcome I may go on to attempt something more ambitious. Though I shall confess that I did shout "is 1tsp a tea spoon or a tablespoon?" at one point.

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EDIT: Is this okay to ask? I live an isolated life and lack interpersonal skills.

It's perfectly OK. I suspect that in any relationship there's a mix of skills and a mix of the more dominant and the more submissive. The tradition is that the male is the former, but that's going to be far from true for all relationships. I suppose I'm the "traditional male".

I'm incisive with people that I meet and get to know to the point where some people would be uncomfortable with me. Chill ;)

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cooking? you must bowl from the pavilion end

:D

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Guest eight

cooking? you must bowl from the pavilion end

:D

Er.... I cook every night, although to be fair my wife is a woman.

Last night we had meat ravioli in a tomato and peppers sauce. Whole thing cost about £2 all in, from Lidl.

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Have you inadvertently posted here instead of on Facebook?

Battenberg likes this.

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It's fascinating really. You do wonder whether role adoption is something learned or whether they are innate, something in the genes we are born with. Now, with pure behaviours it is easier to understand but with regard to specific household chores it is a little harder to understand why mending a car is different from sewing a button. How these innate preferences get translated into modern chores.

The picture is muddied by the fact that both partners could probably do either of the other's tasks, yet typically don't. You could say that is to do with social mores but then, I would guess you would tell me you did not learn to be gay, nor followed what was expected of you.

There's pressure to be good at some things which I guess stems from parental / societal expectations; being good at cooking is a skill particularly valued by women so they learn how to do it well. A woman who can't cook is unusual.

This is a gender rather than a sex role but I think that there is also a sexual difference. Women IME are vastly more interested in food than men. Ask a man what a particular country pub was like and they will talk about many aspects of it, women will focus upon what they ate and actually tell you what they had. This is an observation rather than a value judgement.

Other tasks seen to come down to preference; domestic chores have usually divided along preference lines. I actually like clothes washing and ironing so do all that, gf does cleaning because she likes things looking sparkly. It works well unless you have somebody who doesn't like and isn't prepared to do anything.

Some of those houses in Obsessive Cleaners are shocking. The worst was one in ?Ipswich with two bachelors (not a couple) who were doing zero to the house and it showed; it looked like it had been abandoned several years ago.

Then there was the bloke in the shop this week who was buying socks because his wife was away and he'd run out and didn't do washing. Useless.

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It's fascinating really. You do wonder whether role adoption is something learned or whether they are innate, something in the genes we are born with. Now, with pure behaviours it is easier to understand but with regard to specific household chores it is a little harder to understand why mending a car is different from sewing a button. How these innate preferences get translated into modern chores.

The picture is muddied by the fact that both partners could probably do either of the other's tasks, yet typically don't. You could say that is to do with social mores but then, I would guess you would tell me you did not learn to be gay, nor followed what was expected of you.

I don't think that either partner could do one another's tasks, though. In our house, I do the cooking and my partner handles any type of electrical repair. There's a fair bit of skill involved in either type of job, and it takes an investment of time to learn those skills. I've been cooking for the family since I was 14, and my partner spent several years in the navy learning about and working on electronics. Social mores play a role, but those social mores are based on something more substantive.

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It's perfectly OK. I suspect that in any relationship there's a mix of skills and a mix of the more dominant and the more submissive. The tradition is that the male is the former, but that's going to be far from true for all relationships. I suppose I'm the "traditional male".I'm incisive with people that I meet and get to know to the point where some people would be uncomfortable with me. Chill ;)

I have almost always cooked, largely because Mr B always worked considerably longer hours than I did, and except for a few years earned quite a lot more, so I didn't think it fair to expect him to start cooking when he came home at 7.30 or later and I'd been at home for hours.

Since he's retired our daughters have often been on at me to make him cook, and it's not that he won't, or wouldn't, but for years we've had a division of labour arrangement where I cook and he clears up the kitchen. Which TBH I infinitely prefer, and he's a better clearer-upper than I am.

What I do find odd is that he never asks me what's for dinner. I asked him recently why not, and he said, 'Well, I know it's always going to be something nice.'

Mind you Mr B will eat absolutely anything...

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There's pressure to be good at some things which I guess stems from parental / societal expectations; being good at cooking is a skill particularly valued by women so they learn how to do it well. A woman who can't cook is unusual.

This is a gender rather than a sex role but I think that there is also a sexual difference. Women IME are vastly more interested in food than men. Ask a man what a particular country pub was like and they will talk about many aspects of it, women will focus upon what they ate and actually tell you what they had. This is an observation rather than a value judgement.

Other tasks seen to come down to preference; domestic chores have usually divided along preference lines. I actually like clothes washing and ironing so do all that, gf does cleaning because she likes things looking sparkly. It works well unless you have somebody who doesn't like and isn't prepared to do anything.

Some of those houses in Obsessive Cleaners are shocking. The worst was one in ?Ipswich with two bachelors (not a couple) who were doing zero to the house and it showed; it looked like it had been abandoned several years ago.

Then there was the bloke in the shop this week who was buying socks because his wife was away and he'd run out and didn't do washing. Useless.

Women, in general, are more interested in food, but when it comes to people who are obsessed about food, it tends to be more equal or more skewed towards men. I've been trying to learn sous-vide techniques for cooking lately by reading food blogs on the Internet, and I would say that about 2/3 of the relevant blogs are written by men.

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Women, in general, are more interested in food, but when it comes to people who are obsessed about food, it tends to be more equal or more skewed towards men. I've been trying to learn sous-vide techniques for cooking lately by reading food blogs on the Internet, and I would say that about 2/3 of the relevant blogs are written by men.

Yes, it's always struck me as odd that whilst women do 90% of the cooking day in day out most celebrity chefs are men.

Possibly it's because men don't cook, so when they do turn their hands to it they do it as an obsessive hobby or career.

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Mrs JTB is an awesome cook. You have to eat somewhere very expensive to find something more tasty and interesting than the food she knocks up every day. And she's so fast - rummages around the cupboards to see what's there, comes up with an idea, and it's on the table PDQ. Awesome.

No idea where she's got it from; she's not a really a foodie herself (bloody veggie, to boot (which adds to the awesomeness of her cooking - she's always doing two meals; one veggie, one normal) and her mother is most dreadful cook I've ever encountered (no taste and no competence). She does have A Level cookery - which I often joke is why I married her.

High on my To Do list now that I'm idle is learn to cook. For someone who's *never* cooked it's more challenging than it should be. All the books expect some degree of comprehension that I simply don't have. "Prepare the vegetables" - means what, exactly? Presumably not saying "brace yourselves, chaps" before tipping the spuds into a boiling pan.

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I am making something today with Jerusalem artichokes......don't know yet quite what......any recommendations? ;)

It's not supposed to be too cold out tonight, so go for it. You can sleep with the windows open.

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Cooking is probably the only household task my wife and I both do with comparable frequency. She produces considerably better food, though mine is much quicker and requires much less clearing up afterwards.

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It's not supposed to be too cold out tonight, so go for it. You can sleep with the windows open.

So I hear and so I smell.....but what do I do with them that is worth spending time on them? ;)

Beetroot and Seville oranges to deal with also. :)

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