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Frank Hovis

Stupid Business Ideas

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I thought you had to go some to beat the BBC's mid 90s accountancy subscription TV. Lots of advertising in the accountancy press leading up to the launch, big name presenters, this was the coming thing.

If only one of their creatives had actually spoken to an accountant, who because of the technical nature of the subject needed detailed written analysis of changes, not sound bites.

It closed not long after starting with a ludicrously low number of subscribers, IIRC two. Definitely low single figures.

Anyway there is now a plucky rival: composed.com. This is a subscription service for listening to a wide selection of classical music. Advertised heavily on Classic FM, a free radio station playing a wide selection of classical music.

Um, good luck with that one.

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I had an idea for 'tan in a van' to do mobile tanning. The difficulties are mainly with getting a lazy susan big enough to cope with heavy girls and then a tall van so they can stand upright whilst you swing them round and spray.

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Anyway there is now a plucky rival: composed.com. This is a subscription service for listening to a wide selection of classical music. Advertised heavily on Classic FM, a free radio station playing a wide selection of classical music.

Um, good luck with that one.

If you like the tune you probably already have the record. :wacko:

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I had an idea for 'tan in a van' to do mobile tanning. The difficulties are mainly with getting a lazy susan big enough to cope with heavy girls and then a tall van so they can stand upright whilst you swing them round and spray.

I could actually see that working. It would get booked for hen dos so everybody can start off the night with a fake tan.

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The difficulties are mainly with getting a lazy susan big enough to cope with heavy girls and then a tall van so they can stand upright whilst you swing them round and spray.

:lol:

Plenty of heavy girls in Oldham??

I suppose an old Dennis bus would have been large enough but the running costs of such a beast put the kybosh on that idea. :)

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I had an idea for 'tan in a van' to do mobile tanning. The difficulties are mainly with getting a lazy susan big enough to cope with heavy girls and then a tall van so they can stand upright whilst you swing them round and spray.

I'm always looking for new opportunities, plus I've already got a big van and a five gallon drum of creosote. I might put an ad in the local paper.

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:lol:

Plenty of heavy girls in Oldham??

I suppose an old Dennis bus would have been large enough but the running costs of such a beast put the kybosh on that idea. :)

I'd imagined lots of big boned girls wanting tans. And money is money.

But you could have a load of booths in it and room for the manicurist and hairdresser.

No idea on the running costs of a bus or van.

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If you like the tune you probably already have the record. :wacko:

Probably not. I see classical music as a very different beast to popular music.

If you like classical music then you probably like 90%+ of what's played on Classic FM; though a much lower percentage on Radio 3 which, like John Peel,delights in playing experimental rubbish to annoy people.

Whereas pop music is massively more diverse. I quite like, for example, 70s prog rock. When was the last time you heard that on a national pop music station? So in that case I do have the records.

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How about a mobile gym for people too lazy to drive to a gym.

If only people would cycle to the gym, they wouldn't need one. :blink:

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If only people would cycle to the gym, they wouldn't need one. :blink:

That's a good idea.

Find a gym a few miles away along reasonable roads and cycle to it and back.

I'm going to the gym, but I'm not going in!

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That's a good idea.

Find a gym a few miles away along reasonable roads and cycle to it and back.

I'm going to the gym, but I'm not going in!

Save a fortune, the HPC way!

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I thought you had to go some to beat the BBC's mid 90s accountancy subscription TV. Lots of advertising in the accountancy press leading up to the launch, big name presenters, this was the coming thing.

If only one of their creatives had actually spoken to an accountant, who because of the technical nature of the subject needed detailed written analysis of changes, not sound bites.

It closed not long after starting with a ludicrously low number of subscribers, IIRC two. Definitely low single figures.

Anyway there is now a plucky rival: composed.com. This is a subscription service for listening to a wide selection of classical music. Advertised heavily on Classic FM, a free radio station playing a wide selection of classical music.

Um, good luck with that one.

You must listen to Classic FM.... the advert is is from there!

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I thought you had to go some to beat the BBC's mid 90s accountancy subscription TV. Lots of advertising in the accountancy press leading up to the launch, big name presenters, this was the coming thing.

If only one of their creatives had actually spoken to an accountant, who because of the technical nature of the subject needed detailed written analysis of changes, not sound bites.

It closed not long after starting with a ludicrously low number of subscribers, IIRC two. Definitely low single figures.

Anyway there is now a plucky rival: composed.com. This is a subscription service for listening to a wide selection of classical music. Advertised heavily on Classic FM, a free radio station playing a wide selection of classical music.

Um, good luck with that one.

Apparently one of the first attempts to create an online university in the UK in the mid 90s blew through a million or two, and was widely rumoured to have less than a dozen students.

Sometimes timing is everything. No-one is laughing about online education nowadays.

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Apparently one of the first attempts to create an online university in the UK in the mid 90s blew through a million or two, and was widely rumoured to have less than a dozen students.

Sometimes timing is everything. No-one is laughing about online education nowadays.

Not a good idea being first in tech fields.

A lot of accountancy training is online these days, not as good IMO but previously people had to flog up to the nearest big city for 9am on Saturday so I doubt they're complaining overmuch.

The BBC concept was just wrong. If you want to understand the new pension accounting you read a digest and do some worked examples. Watching Francine Stock explaining something that she doesn't understand whilst on a small boat on a river on a windy day (the photo for much of the advertising) isn't going to help you. It was truly bizarre that they were selling it as the next big thing when anybody in the profession (bar two people) could see it was next to useless.

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Basically anything that needs the government to fund it, or else seeks out the mouth breeding population to crowdfund it...think 'solar freaking roadways'

Actually. I guess they're good 'business' ideas, as they have raised money and I havent. Sh1te ideas in terms of productivity and value, but if the point is to get rich, perhaps theyre a good idea.

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Basically anything that needs the government to fund it, or else seeks out the mouth breeding population to crowdfund it...think 'solar freaking roadways'

Actually. I guess they're good 'business' ideas, as they have raised money and I havent. Sh1te ideas in terms of productivity and value, but if the point is to get rich, perhaps theyre a good idea.

A friend and I nearly got £250k out of the Social Enterprise Investment Fund but we were about a year too late and they'd started running it down. As long as you have a social purpose to the business it's basically a free start-up. This was a legitimate idea that we were already running small scale; it was all above board but it was strange that there was this free money being doled out. You see why Kids Company did so well out of the government.

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http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/14129561.The_key_questions_council_won___t_answer_about_failed_Bank_of_Bournemouth_scheme/

Bank of Bournemouth. Cost £15 million to set up; made only 22 loans in 18 months; currently looks like a dead 'un......

Reminds me of Bournemouth's £3 million artificial surf reef...

It feel to bits when the sea got at it. No trace left. Suppliers can't be found, surprisingly...

http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/yoursay/letterstotheeditor/10049644.Just_admit_surf_reef_is_useless/

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http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/news/14129561.The_key_questions_council_won___t_answer_about_failed_Bank_of_Bournemouth_scheme/

Bank of Bournemouth. Cost £15 million to set up; made only 22 loans in 18 months; currently looks like a dead 'un......

Reminds me of Bournemouth's £3 million artificial surf reef...

It feel to bits when the sea got at it. No trace left. Suppliers can't be found, surprisingly...

http://www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/yoursay/letterstotheeditor/10049644.Just_admit_surf_reef_is_useless/

The council here was under huge pressure ?20 years ago to shell out for the artificial reef. Papers were running campaigns for it and that Bournemouth's reef looked done and dusted had them in all in a tizzy. Bournemouth was going to become the surf capital of England with decent surf 365 days of the year; why would anybody come all the way to Cornwall?

So the council was right.

Also interested to read in your link that the original model for this is New Zealand also failed! I could see how it would work in principle by forming the waves but did think that if it was that good then they would be everywhere.

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Guest eight

If only people would cycle to the gym, they wouldn't need one. :blink:

The oldest guy I regularly play football with (think he's about 65) cycles to and from the game.

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