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Christmas Gift Ideas

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Other people like friends, relatives and Santa cannot be trusted to get me anything that won't represent the potential work of a photography session to list it on ebay.

Therefore I usually take matters into my own hands and ensure I have a good stock of gifts to myself like books, DVDs, gadgets and the like to keep me occupied and not have to listen to someone usually telling me about how their kids are incredibly clever - I usually concur it is quite anomalous.

Anyway, I normally have a good stock by now but so far all I've got is a teach yourself lockpicking set with a transparent lock so in dire need of ideas. Will need to not be too excessively large as, much as I'd love some huge chunky army surplus item, I doubt my sister-in-law would welcome it.

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Electronic drum kit. I've not bought one yet, but I'll give you first dibs in, say, February?

Not sure, past musical endeavours imply I probably have the rhythm of Jedward on Quaaludes.

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Not sure, past musical endeavours imply I probably have the rhythm of Jedward on Quaaludes.

Likewise.

Panpipes? Think how relaxing it would be, even if you fail to enjoy playing them yourself, to employ someone to play, say, El Condor Pasa, as you repack some hub bearings.

B-side:

El Condor Pasa (Control Arm Remix)

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Dogs always make ideal Christmas presents, apparently. Turtles used to be a popular one. When they get too big, you can flush them down the toilet, or put them in a pond. I saw giant turtles basking in Mitcham pond once in the 90s. They didn't look indigenous, and I think they were captured and taken away. :blink:

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Personally, I like trying new tastes - and you can make it a collective activity with your sister-in-law's crew.

Try a few strands of saffron stirred into yoghurt and left overnight. Or mix some crystalised ginger or wasabi into some ice-cream.

For meat lovers, try the exotic food section in Iceland. You can try kangaroo, ostrich, crocodile, wild boar...

Oils infused with chilli or rosemary can be quite something. As can some of the weird condiments you get in Aldi and Lidl. I got a kind of condensed vinegar with fig syrup recently. Small amounts are delicious on salad.

I regularly turn up to friends with exotic fruit/local produce for us all to taste. It can be highly evocative. Once the smell of miso soup (we're talking in the early 90s here before it became ubiquitous) a friend offered me transported me back to childhood. My parents had regularly served it, and I had forgotten both it and the name.

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I'm bringing my dad a jar of my extremely dangerous pickled onions, along with some drink and festive snacks.

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I'm bringing my dad a jar of my extremely dangerous pickled onions, along with some drink and festive snacks.

Barry Norman makes good pickled onions, and why not, Waitrose seem to have either stopped doing them or never have any stock so may have to resort to online.

Personally, I like trying new tastes - and you can make it a collective activity with your sister-in-law's crew.

Try a few strands of saffron stirred into yoghurt and left overnight. Or mix some crystalised ginger or wasabi into some ice-cream.

For meat lovers, try the exotic food section in Iceland. You can try kangaroo, ostrich, crocodile, wild boar...

Oils infused with chilli or rosemary can be quite something. As can some of the weird condiments you get in Aldi and Lidl. I got a kind of condensed vinegar with fig syrup recently. Small amounts are delicious on salad.

I regularly turn up to friends with exotic fruit/local produce for us all to taste. It can be highly evocative. Once the smell of miso soup (we're talking in the early 90s here before it became ubiquitous) a friend offered me transported me back to childhood. My parents had regularly served it, and I had forgotten both it and the name.

That has reminded me of a present idea I had for someone. I was going to get someone an assortment of American candy. The plan was to pick it up over there and forgot but luckily I noticed larger Tesco carry a tload of it albeit at a premium price.

Dogs always make ideal Christmas presents, apparently. Turtles used to be a popular one. When they get too big, you can flush them down the toilet, or put them in a pond. I saw giant turtles basking in Mitcham pond once in the 90s. They didn't look indigenous, and I think they were captured and taken away. :blink:

Did the turtles just get too big because people fed them pizza though?

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I've always found the idea of entering a can of surstromming into the works "secret santa" donation slightly amusing

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I've always found the idea of entering a can of surstromming into the works "secret santa" donation slightly amusing

You have to open it outside. It's very dangerous. :wacko:

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Here you go,

You can be your very own dirty old man on the moon..

http://www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-man-on-the-moon-make-your-own-telescope-kit/p2247263

FFS you can get a half decent "junior" telescope for £50 or so. More useful than this cracker novelty!

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FFS you can get a half decent "junior" telescope for £50 or so. More useful than this cracker novelty!

I thought it was genuinely quite good value as a "science toy" for kids.

Learn how a telescope works while you build it then look at some stars. All for £8.

One of the few really fun things I remember doing with my grandad was making a periscope with two mirrors and a cardboard box :)

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I thought it was genuinely quite good value as a "science toy" for kids.

Learn how a telescope works while you build it then look at some stars. All for £8.

One of the few really fun things I remember doing with my grandad was making a periscope with two mirrors and a cardboard box :)

I suppose so Libby. Grandads are far better than your dad for understanding children. :blink: I suppose £8 is OK. If they decide they like telescopes, you can get them a posh one. My dad was slow to learn that I didn't share his interests. It's the "dad's assumption". :wacko:

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I thought it was genuinely quite good value as a "science toy" for kids.

Learn how a telescope works while you build it then look at some stars. All for £8.

One of the few really fun things I remember doing with my grandad was making a periscope with two mirrors and a cardboard box :)

My Uncle made one of those! Very professional and everything, he even measured the gap between the changing-room floor and cubicle partition to make sure it would fit.

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Socks! Warm ones! :( Make sure they have a Christmas theme so they will look daft in January. :blink:

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