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Northerner

Then We Shall Ha' To Bury Thee

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Then we shall ha' to bury theeOn Ilkla Moor baht 'at

Well it's a thought. Could stay on the allotment for ever then.

Guardian: "Dying is becoming an increasingly pricey business: the average cost of a funeral was this week put at £3,700. But if you choose to do it all yourself, with an eco-coffin, a basic cremation and an estate car or van instead of a hearse, it’s possible to get the cost down to a fraction of that – perhaps as little as £400".

http://www.theguardian.com/money/2015/oct/12/funeral-cheaper-alternatives-cost-of-dying-keeps-rising?CMP=EMCMONTXT5510I2

"Funeral directors’ costs typically account for the lion’s share of the bill. However, it is important to remember that you are not required to use a funeral director, and even if you do you are entitled to use a coffin bought elsewhere, says Steven Mitchell, who created CompareTheCoffin.com after being involved with a “terrible” funeral a few years ago. His website sells direct to the public, with prices starting from £245 for a plain cardboard coffin, as well as offering a comparison service".

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Then we shall ha' to bury theeOn Ilkla Moor baht 'at

Well it's a thought. Could stay on the allotment for ever then.

Guardian: "Dying is becoming an increasingly pricey business: the average cost of a funeral was this week put at £3,700. But if you choose to do it all yourself, with an eco-coffin, a basic cremation and an estate car or van instead of a hearse, it’s possible to get the cost down to a fraction of that – perhaps as little as £400".

http://www.theguardian.com/money/2015/oct/12/funeral-cheaper-alternatives-cost-of-dying-keeps-rising?CMP=EMCMONTXT5510I2

"Funeral directors’ costs typically account for the lion’s share of the bill. However, it is important to remember that you are not required to use a funeral director, and even if you do you are entitled to use a coffin bought elsewhere, says Steven Mitchell, who created CompareTheCoffin.com after being involved with a “terrible” funeral a few years ago. His website sells direct to the public, with prices starting from £245 for a plain cardboard coffin, as well as offering a comparison service".

CompareTheCasket.com has a better ring to it...

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£245 for a cardboard coffin still sounds steep. I would hate to be buried insomething nice - what a ******ing waste. Chuck me in a compost wheely bin.

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My wife used to employ someone at her last place of work in a lowly capacity (Marketing bod) who had all the trappings of wealth, a fast car (Porsche Cayman, NEW!!!!), exotic holidays and wore beautiful expensive jewellery. She was only in her early twenties and let on that it was daddy supporting her and his business surprise surprise a funeral parlour. The mum ran a Jewellery shop as a hobby than anything else; useful contact as the wife gets upto 50% off on branded goods (apart from watches which hold little margin).

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My wife used to employ someone at her last place of work in a lowly capacity (Marketing bod) who had all the trappings of wealth, a fast car (Porsche Cayman, NEW!!!!), exotic holidays and wore beautiful expensive jewellery. She was only in her early twenties and let on that it was daddy supporting her and his business surprise surprise a funeral parlour. The mum ran a Jewellery shop as a hobby than anything else; useful contact as the wife gets upto 50% off on branded goods (apart from watches which hold little margin).

Can't say I am surprised to see you mention your wife and a funeral director in the same sentence. :D

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£245 for a cardboard coffin still sounds steep. I would hate to be buried insomething nice - what a ******ing waste. Chuck me in a compost wheely bin.

Got involved once in organizing a relative's funeral.

An undertaker was remarkably upfront and honest with us - don't buy an oak coffin, it takes hours to burn, they will just take the body out and put it in a ply coffin before burning. Likewise don't go for brass handles etc. they don't burn well, the crem staff will have to remove them and they will take them to the scrappers yard.

So we ended up with veneer board and plastic look alike handles - looked like the real thing from where I was sitting, lots cheaper and acceptable to local authority standards etc.

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Sounds like a good plan.

I understand why lots of people want to see their loved ones 'leave them ' in something shiny and pleasant. I just dont see the point myself. Don't think it adds to anything really.

A cheapo cardboard coffin plastered in nice pictures of the person with their friends having fun, on holiday, with their family and all that jazz - seems far more pleasant and appropriate to me.

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I'll definitely be having what they call a 'direct funeral', i.e. they get you from where you've died and chuck you in the oven (c.£500 - £1000). No 'service', no trad ceremony, no moaning on about the sky fairy. If any friends / relatives want to have a piss up in my honour that's their choice.

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I'll definitely be having what they call a 'direct funeral', i.e. they get you from where you've died and chuck you in the oven (c.£500 - £1000). No 'service', no trad ceremony, no moaning on about the sky fairy. If any friends / relatives want to have a piss up in my honour that's their choice.

If I know you I hope you are leaving instructions to chuck a few quid behind the bar?

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Death is a great racket. It's the one area where you'll never go out of business. It's amazing that no one has started to offer cut price funerals, which you would expect under capitalism.

Easydeath.com

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Undertakers have had it easy for a while getting big fat fees for providing funerals.

I think the uk/global economy is in terminal decline and more and more people will want to cut costs.

I won't be having a conventional funeral with a hearse, fancy cars, funeral tea etc. My instructions are to be delivered to the crematorium in my campervan or any other van then left there to be cremated in the cheapest coffin available. Lots of people never see you much when your alive and I don't buy into the funeral ritual where people gather to pay their respects or whatever.

If any people want to gather to mark my death then they can think of some way to do it themselves!

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Undertakers have had it easy for a while getting big fat fees for providing funerals.

I think the uk/global economy is in terminal decline and more and more people will want to cut costs.

I won't be having a conventional funeral with a hearse, fancy cars, funeral tea etc. My instructions are to be delivered to the crematorium in my campervan or any other van then left there to be cremated in the cheapest coffin available. Lots of people never see you much when your alive and I don't buy into the funeral ritual where people gather to pay their respects or whatever.

If any people want to gather to mark my death then they can think of some way to do it themselves!

I believe most people think like that. Although I want fancy cars and a perpetual musical mausolem, which plays ABBA songs. A cross between a pyramid and a juke box. :blink:

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Death is a great racket. It's the one area where you'll never go out of business. It's amazing that no one has started to offer cut price funerals, which you would expect under capitalism.

+1 I think it was traditionally the British way not to raise questions over money.

But that could be changing..

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Guest eight

Can people not be buried on their own land as long as the hole is deep enough? I thought you could?

That's what I'm planning for my wife.

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If I know you I hope you are leaving instructions to chuck a few quid behind the bar?

I probably would do that, depends on relations with friends and family. I also don't want to impose my choice of what pub to go to on them.

baht 'at

Can someone do a Yorkshire to English translation on this bit for me?

Death is a great racket. It's the one area where you'll never go out of business. It's amazing that no one has started to offer cut price funerals, which you would expect under capitalism.

Erm, isn't that what the OP is about?

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