Jump to content
House Price Crash Forum

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Scunnered

Bulbous Salutation

Recommended Posts

So there's this guy called Morrissey and he's written a book. It's not gone down too well with the critics. The following's been extensively quoted. It appears to be a sex scene.

At this, Eliza and Ezra rolled together into the one giggling snowball of full-figured copulation, screaming and shouting as they playfully bit and pulled at each other in a dangerous and clamorous rollercoaster coil of sexually violent rotation with Eliza's breasts barrel-rolled across Ezra's howling mouth and the pained frenzy of his bulbous salutation extenuating his excitement as it whacked and smacked its way into every muscle of Eliza's body except for the otherwise central zone.

http://www.theguardian.com/music/musicblog/2015/sep/24/morrissey-what-we-learned-about-him-from-list-of-the-lost

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/books/authors/morrissey-sex-scene-list-of-the-lost/

[Edit: apostrophes]

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest eight

I think Cocaine Nights by JG Ballard contained the most cringe-making excuse for a sex scene that I've ever read.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I believe I wish I had written a book, or even read one once. :blink:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

.... at least it is better than a 'stray rocket' ....

When his hand brushed her nipple it tripped a switch and she came alight. He touched her belly and his hand seemed to burn through her. He lavished on her body indirect touches and bitter-sweet sensations flooded her brain. She became aware of places in her that could only have been concealed there by a god with a sense of humour. Adrift on warm currents, no longer of this world, she became aware of him gliding into her. He loved her with gentleness and strength, stroking her neck, praising her face with his hands, till she was broken up and began a low rhythmic wail … The universe was in her and with each movement it unfolded to her. Somewhere in the night a stray rocket went off.”

Ben Okri. Bad sex in Fiction Award

http://www.theguardian.com/books/2014/dec/03/ben-okri-wins-bad-sex-award-rocket-the-age-of-magic Bad sex in Fiction Award

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

.... at least it is better than a 'stray rocket' ....

When his hand brushed her nipple it tripped a switch and she came alight. He touched her belly and his hand seemed to burn through her. He

http://www.theguardian.com/books/2014/dec/03/ben-okri-wins-bad-sex-award-rocket-the-age-of-magic Bad sex in Fiction Award

I only ever did "bad sex" in real life. At least no tripe or black pudding was used, just whippets. ^_^

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • The Prime Minister stated that there were three Brexit options available to the UK:   99 members have voted

    1. 1. Which of the Prime Minister's options would you choose?


      • Leave with the negotiated deal
      • Remain
      • Leave with no deal

    Please sign in or register to vote in this poll. View topic


×

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.