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TheBlueCat

When To Intervene And When To Keep Quiet?

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I was on the subway this morning and a huge porker of a woman lumbered on board and sat down taking all of two seats. We're talking seriously obese here, although obviously not at the can't walk stage. At the next stop a regular sized fairly respectable looking woman, but smelling of booze, got on and sat next to me. At the next stop, a whole bunch more people got on and filled up all the seats leaving a few people standing. The boozy woman next to me then started sounding off quite audibly (but not shouting) about how the porker was taking more than her fair share of seat space. Now, this was the subway, not a long-haul flight so no-one was really being inconvenienced in any way and I could see that the fat woman was really upset by it all. My first instinct was to tell the boozy woman firmly that she was out of order and should shut her mouth. But then I figured that would likely just bring more attention to bear on that fat woman and make her even more uncomfortable. By the time I'd run that through my head my stop came up and it was too late to do anything anyway.

So what do the HPC collective think? Keep quiet in the hope of minimizing the discomfort for the target? Confront the abuser? Change seats and pretend it never happened? Any other reasonable options?

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I decided sometime ago that as nobody in the public will give a sh1t about me that it's therefore fairest if i don't give a sh1t about anybody. Head down, mind my own business.

Of course is someone is getting beaten up I'll intervene to help them, if not just to give my anger an opportunity to vent upon someone :lol:

I'd help an old biddy across the road too.

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I was on the subway this morning and a huge porker of a woman lumbered on board and sat down taking all of two seats. We're talking seriously obese here, although obviously not at the can't walk stage. At the next stop a regular sized fairly respectable looking woman, but smelling of booze, got on and sat next to me........

Oh the joys of public transport. :(

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Why assume that it is your business to intervene? Did the fat woman attempt to defend herself?

Because I don't like to see people suffer. I'm not the most empathic person out there but, on the other hand, I was bullied quite badly at school so I know just horrible it is to be on the receiving end of that sort of thing.

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Lots of experience on youtube, well worth "researching" into this area if you travel on public transport.

3rd

meh, if I was in London, I'd get the company to pay for your travels by limo or taxi.

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Lots of experience on youtube, well worth "researching" into this area if you travel on public transport.

3rd

meh, if I was in London, I'd get the company to pay for your travels by limo or taxi.

Maybe I'm just getting old or something but I couldn't figure what the f*ck was going on in any of those videos. Is the lesson to learn that I have to learn to shout loudly in some kind of incomprehensible argot at random strangers if I want to survive a ride on the NYC subway?! I should add that the TTC (subway, streetcars & buses in Toronto) is generally pretty civilized, my experience this morning was definitely an aberration.

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Can only comment from the other side.

I was on a bus in Salford in my early 20's and two mid-teen girls started firing chewed up balls of paper at me through a biro body.

The first couple of times I wasn't that bothered, they were sat behind me and I was only getting the odd bit in my hair.

I asked them reasonably nicely to stop, which was like a red rag to a bull.

At that point I was getting mightily pissed off and wished I could just walk over to them and punch them in the face. I didn't fancy a few years behind bars so I sat there and let them pelt me.

After not that long a really rough woman with a hint of mad stood up and gave the girls both barrels and threatened to break their legs if they didn't stop. I actually believed she might have done it. So too did the girls apparently who immediately stopped.

I tried to thank the woman as I stepped off but she wouldn't make eye contact.

I very much appreciated her help.

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If I feel someone is being treated unfairly then I'll step up. I just can't help myself and I'm sure it may well be my undoing.

In fact, I had a falling out with a lady in hospital the other day. Went in to waiting room, a few seats empty. 20 mins later there was only 1 seat left when a man came in and asked the woman next to it if it was ok to sit down. No she said, it was her friend's seat who was in having her appointment. That was it, I was off. I pointed out to her that you can't reserve seats in a hospital and that her friend hadn't even been there for 20 mins. She kept muttering as her friend then came out, she got up and they both buggered off.

I then gave the nod to the fella who came and sat down.

I friggin hate that sort of selfish behaviour. I hate our society.

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You should have kindly given her some video links about what really causes obesity and how to lose weight. Perhaps carry some flyers in your wallet.

A lecture on the Paleo diet never goes amiss...

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with a hint of mad stood

I think that is the clincher. If you can convince whoever it is that you're dealing with that you're unhinged, the odds are that they'll stop doing whatever it is until you're out of sight. That was pretty much how I dealt with being bullied myself in the end - went total mental on a couple of people to the extent that others then concluded that it wasn't worth the hassle of having a go at me.

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I think that is the clincher. If you can convince whoever it is that you're dealing with that you're unhinged, the odds are that they'll stop doing whatever it is until you're out of sight.

Most of us can't do that though, so you're faced with "What yer gonno do?" because the sh1theads won't stop due to being asked politely. They only respond to something they can perceive as a genuine threat that isn't just going to result in them getting the person making the threat in more trouble. Such people meet pretty much all the definition of vermin but tragically you can't just call out Rentakill to deal with them. They'll continue too unless society changes enough to make their lives a living hell in return, but alas I don't see any sign of that happening (that's one of the downsides of the loss of sense of community, although that can potentially turn on anyone).

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Meeting mad or sociopathic people is an occupational hazard of travelling on public transport. Fortunately, the chronic overcrowding on the trains in southern England over recent years has somewhat restricted their opportunities to interact with other passengers as freely as they would like as even being a pain in the ars* to fellow travellers requires some space. Moreover crowds of seemingly docile sheep like commuters have a madness of their own en masse so even nutters are ill advised get in their way as they try to disembark at a major London station as they will simply end up being trampled underfoot

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Maybe I'm just getting old or something but I couldn't figure what the f*ck was going on in any of those videos.......

You're not alone. In that New York subway video I just cant understand what the heck those women (we can't seriously call them 'ladies'?!) are saying. I hear words that sound like English but in effect they're speaking a foreign language.

When I see clips like this, with speech like this I cant but help think of 'Jive'

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