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JoeDavola

Bloody Nightclub

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You'll have to excuse me as I'm a bit drunk.

I went to a nightclub near my gaff, as a mate was going there - place I used to go when I was 17. Thankfully at 31 I'm in pretty much the same shape as back then and didn't feel too geriatric. I scrubbed up rather well tonight. I also believe I was getting the eye from a girl who was sitting nearby and must have been 10 years younger than me.

But I hate these places. I can't hear what the person next to me is saying even when they scream in my ear and I can't do the whole dancing thing because my skin crawls with the awkwardness of it all. I'd much rather be sitting opposite a woman in a restaurant talking to her, or even in a bar where we could hear our selves think.

But there was more thoroughly bangable women in that nightclub, than there is on any of the dating sites I occasionally frequent, even though it was a small club and half empty.

So I tried knocking as much drink into me as possible to see if that would help. It didn't, so I chickened out and went home. Damn my f*cking shyness and introversion. I think I prefer being by myself. Am I f*cking autistic or something?

Rant over.

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Yeah reckon so.

You need a team of wingman to play a points game. 5 for starting a convo, 1 for a put down, 20 for a snog, 100 if she leaves with you, 20 for a phone number hat works. But... also 10 for a slap, 20 for a pint down your shirt...etc

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work on outcome-independence.

This with bells on. As a young man with fairly low self esteem the fear of getting rejected caused me not to chat up any number of women who were very probably, and in a few cases definitely, giving me the eye. Had I had a go at chatting them all up I would have failed with some and succeeded with some. Quite possibly on the same night, on a few occasions!

Force yourself to approach the next woman who seems to be giving you a come-on. If you don't succeed, then don't beat yourself up for failing, congratulate yourself for having the courage to have a go.

Do you actually dislike dancing and/or dance music, or are you merely embarrassed? As someone who genuinely enjoys it, I never had a problem hitting the dancefloor early, and I was often fairly quickly surrounded with women as a consequence. Practice your moves in front of a mirror :) .

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Never could stand nightclubs myself. My dancing was a triumph of enthusiasm over ability - but I simply didn't care. The chances of anyone who matters (and very few do) caring the next day is tiny. But they are an excellent source of one night stands.

All of ladies `I had any kind of relationship with though I met through friends, via work, night classes etc - except with my current missus who I just got chatting to in a shop.

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Try the Tinder App or something similar - your smart phone flirts with a user who has the similar app on their phone, and it is distance affected.

We never had that in our day!

tinder.jpg

---

I am happily married and too old to night club these days at 35; Sorry DTM!

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Try the Tinder App or something similar - your smart phone flirts with a user who has the similar app on their phone, and it is distance affected.

Sounds like a game for when you've had several drinks (though I can see myself forever frustrated by insufficient information to form a judgement - never did one night stands).

But are you suggesting you should need to suffer noisy insalubrious surroundings and exorbitant prices to play?

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Guy I knew rarely failed to pull in nightclubs. While dancing with a burd he'd ask 'Do you shag?'. Got a lot of 'eff off' and face slaps but he'd just go dance with another burd. All he was looking for was a shy smile or a response on the lines of 'Stop it you!'. Once he got that, he'd be with her until the place closed and he'd only have eyes for her. Then they would leave together.

First rule of sales: Qualify the Prospect. :)

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So I tried knocking as much drink into me as possible to see if that would help. It didn't, so I chickened out and went home. Damn my f*cking shyness and introversion. I think I prefer being by myself. Am I f*cking autistic or something?

Rant over.

You're sensible.

Nightclubs are not the place to meet women. Well not normally.

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You'll have to excuse me as I'm a bit drunk.

I went to a nightclub near my gaff, as a mate was going there - place I used to go when I was 17. Thankfully at 31 I'm in pretty much the same shape as back then and didn't feel too geriatric. I scrubbed up rather well tonight. I also believe I was getting the eye from a girl who was sitting nearby and must have been 10 years younger than me.

But I hate these places. I can't hear what the person next to me is saying even when they scream in my ear and I can't do the whole dancing thing because my skin crawls with the awkwardness of it all. I'd much rather be sitting opposite a woman in a restaurant talking to her, or even in a bar where we could hear our selves think.

But there was more thoroughly bangable women in that nightclub, than there is on any of the dating sites I occasionally frequent, even though it was a small club and half empty.

So I tried knocking as much drink into me as possible to see if that would help. It didn't, so I chickened out and went home. Damn my f*cking shyness and introversion. I think I prefer being by myself. Am I f*cking autistic or something?

Rant over.

Not many people are in professional business to business sales. One of the things to remember is that ultimately every pipeline for a given outcome has set set steps and responds to logic.

Therefore in any given chat up scenario you might require 8 no's to get to your first yes. Therefore the No's are nothing to be fearful worry about they are an absolutely critical part of the process. So work on the No's and it's good for your self esteem approach woman looking to qualify her out not in to your shag/date pipeline

When you have qualified out all the no's the only possible outcomes are yesses - try it it does work believe me

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Guy I knew rarely failed to pull in nightclubs. While dancing with a burd he'd ask 'Do you shag?'. Got a lot of 'eff off' and face slaps but he'd just go dance with another burd. All he was looking for was a shy smile or a response on the lines of 'Stop it you!'. Once he got that, he'd be with her until the place closed and he'd only have eyes for her. Then they would leave together.

First rule of sales: Qualify the Prospect. :)

Yes they are on heat sometimes....like animals...it`s true..

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You'll have to excuse me as I'm a bit drunk.

I went to a nightclub near my gaff, as a mate was going there - place I used to go when I was 17. Thankfully at 31 I'm in pretty much the same shape as back then and didn't feel too geriatric. I scrubbed up rather well tonight. I also believe I was getting the eye from a girl who was sitting nearby and must have been 10 years younger than me.

But I hate these places. I can't hear what the person next to me is saying even when they scream in my ear and I can't do the whole dancing thing because my skin crawls with the awkwardness of it all. I'd much rather be sitting opposite a woman in a restaurant talking to her, or even in a bar where we could hear our selves think.

But there was more thoroughly bangable women in that nightclub, than there is on any of the dating sites I occasionally frequent, even though it was a small club and half empty.

So I tried knocking as much drink into me as possible to see if that would help. It didn't, so I chickened out and went home. Damn my f*cking shyness and introversion. I think I prefer being by myself. Am I f*cking autistic or something?

Rant over.

Sounds familar, just like me haha. Probably high functioning Aspergers syndrome? (suspect I have this too).

I used to just drink to excess, not give a toss and be extremely hedonistic and nihilistic in an attempt to get around this fear. Not a good thing to do really. Now I just be myself. Clubs are a bit horrific IMHO

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Not many people are in professional business to business sales. One of the things to remember is that ultimately every pipeline for a given outcome has set set steps and responds to logic.

Therefore in any given chat up scenario you might require 8 no's to get to your first yes. Therefore the No's are nothing to be fearful worry about they are an absolutely critical part of the process. So work on the No's and it's good for your self esteem approach woman looking to qualify her out not in to your shag/date pipeline

When you have qualified out all the no's the only possible outcomes are yesses - try it it does work believe me

Yes, also leave a business card and some samples of the genetic material you have to offer.

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Sounds familar, just like me haha. Probably high functioning Aspergers syndrome? (suspect I have this too).

I used to just drink to excess, not give a toss and be extremely hedonistic and nihilistic in an attempt to get around this fear. Not a good thing to do really. Now I just be myself. Clubs are a bit horrific IMHO

That's more than half the people I know. Do you wonder how many baked beans you get in a tin, or remember bus number plates?

Don't like discos or clubs much! Never have. Met partners through general social events, parties or dinner dos etc.

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I recently had to go to a nightclub for the first time in almost 20 years. It was hideous.

Within 5 minutes of getting in there I'd watched an 18 year old girl barf into a pint glass, getting the rest of it all over herself, her boyfriend, and the sofa they were sitting on. I spent the next 10 minutes watching the now vacated sofa waiting for the inevitable to happen. Eventually a lad dressed in a hawaiian outfit and carrying an inflatable guitar sat in it, then idly rubbed it off his leg, presumably thinking it was just beer.

Perhaps I should have warned him, but I'd probably never have made myself heard over the thumping bass, and you never know when you're going to get a smack in the mouth for trying to be helpful. So I got in a cab and went home.

If I were single, the last place I'd go looking for women is in a club. You meet a girl in a club, it's a reasonable bet she likes clubbing, and thus a reasonable bet that she's going to want to keep going to clubs throughout your relationship.

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Do you actually dislike dancing and/or dance music, or are you merely embarrassed? .

I don't enjoy dancing, but I don't know whether that's because of my inability to 'let myself go' and actually enjoy it without being self conscious. I'd need to practice or something but chances are even after practice I'd still dance like a computer programmer ;) I enjoy music/live gigs but I don't enjoy the dance music that's played in clubs, and even if the music that is played in clubs is music that I like, it's played painfully loud.

Between the music being played too loud and people around you all shouting at each other to try and be heard, I kinda get a nasty case of sensory overload too; it's just not pleasant.

These environments also seem to be all about who can be the biggest show off extrovert of the crowd, last night my mate was doing Jim Carey levels of bouncing around arms flailing ect. (fuelled by massive amounts of booze of course) And I just feel awkward, and sad and thoroughly inadequate that I can't be that 'happy' no matter how much I drink. It brings up all the worst things that I think about myself that I avoid dealing with (social anxiety and depression) by being a workaholic.

And yes, the woman giving me the eye, what's the worst that could have happened if I'd have walked up and said hello. But my mind goes blank and wonder what the hell I could say to them, and I fear the rejection, whereas logically what's the worst that's likely to happen.

The irony is that I get on great with the people in my office, cause I know them well; I'm often the life and soul of the place. Some of them wouldn't believe what goes on in my head in these situations.

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I don't enjoy dancing, but I don't know whether that's because of my inability to 'let myself go' and actually enjoy it without being self conscious. I'd need to practice or something but chances are even after practice I'd still dance like a computer programmer ;) I enjoy music/live gigs but I don't enjoy the dance music that's played in clubs, and even if the music that is played in clubs is music that I like, it's played painfully loud.

I'm pretty much the same. However, if you are going to go to clubs, there really is an easy solution to that one which is to take some dancing lessons. Having someone that knows about that shit show you how it's done and then give an objective assessment of your ability once taught is a major confidence booster. The chicks love a man with a few dance moves too and it's way easier to get their attention that way than having to make inane small talk at the top of your voice.

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I don't enjoy dancing, but I don't know whether that's because of my inability to 'let myself go' and actually enjoy it without being self conscious. I'd need to practice or something but chances are even after practice I'd still dance like a computer programmer ;) I enjoy music/live gigs but I don't enjoy the dance music that's played in clubs, and even if the music that is played in clubs is music that I like, it's played painfully loud.

Between the music being played too loud and people around you all shouting at each other to try and be heard, I kinda get a nasty case of sensory overload too; it's just not pleasant.

These environments also seem to be all about who can be the biggest show off extrovert of the crowd, last night my mate was doing Jim Carey levels of bouncing around arms flailing ect. (fuelled by massive amounts of booze of course) And I just feel awkward, and sad and thoroughly inadequate that I can't be that 'happy' no matter how much I drink. It brings up all the worst things that I think about myself that I avoid dealing with (social anxiety and depression) by being a workaholic.

And yes, the woman giving me the eye, what's the worst that could have happened if I'd have walked up and said hello. But my mind goes blank and wonder what the hell I could say to them, and I fear the rejection, whereas logically what's the worst that's likely to happen.

The irony is that I get on great with the people in my office, cause I know them well; I'm often the life and soul of the place. Some of them wouldn't believe what goes on in my head in these situations.

... you sound like my twin! !!

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I don't enjoy dancing, but I don't know whether that's because of my inability to 'let myself go' and actually enjoy it without being self conscious. I'd need to practice or something but chances are even after practice I'd still dance like a computer programmer ;) I enjoy music/live gigs but I don't enjoy the dance music that's played in clubs, and even if the music that is played in clubs is music that I like, it's played painfully loud. Between the music being played too loud and people around you all shouting at each other to try and be heard, I kinda get a nasty case of sensory overload too; it's just not pleasant. These environments also seem to be all about who can be the biggest show off extrovert of the crowd, last night my mate was doing Jim Carey levels of bouncing around arms flailing ect. (fuelled by massive amounts of booze of course) And I just feel awkward, and sad and thoroughly inadequate that I can't be that 'happy' no matter how much I drink. It brings up all the worst things that I think about myself that I avoid dealing with (social anxiety and depression) by being a workaholic. And yes, the woman giving me the eye, what's the worst that could have happened if I'd have walked up and said hello. But my mind goes blank and wonder what the hell I could say to them, and I fear the rejection, whereas logically what's the worst that's likely to happen. The irony is that I get on great with the people in my office, cause I know them well; I'm often the life and soul of the place. Some of them wouldn't believe what goes on in my head in these situations.

I always poll as extrovert in any sort of personality type test but, I wouldn't view a nightclub as any sort of ideal environment to flourish in.

I don't think it's worth adapting your own behaviour, to something unnatural, in order to flourish there, is worthwhile either. I can't imagine anyone, male or female, who's some doyen of the local nightclub scene being anyone worth being with in ten years time.

Very few, if any, one night stands are worth the awkwardness of the morning after. Everyone needs a self esteem boost, from time to time but, I think, there are better ways than getting some slapper's, who looked alright the night before, fake tan smeared all over you.

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