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Frank Hovis

Iran Thinks James Bond Is Real And Britain Secretly Rules The World

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Well, they give a lot more credit to our foreign office / secret services than anybody here does!

In Iran's eyes, Britain is still the 'old fox’ The reopening of the British Embassy in Tehran begins a new chapter in an old and poisonous relationship

The “old fox” is back. When Philip Hammond visited Tehran this week, he did far more than reopen the British Embassy: his presence signalled a new chapter in the poisonous yet strangely intimate relationship between Britain and Iran.

One local daily welcomed the Foreign Secretary by helpfully listing the top 29 “crimes” supposedly committed against Iran by the “old fox” – namely Britain. The charge sheet in “Kayhan” newspaper began in 1857, when London deprived Iran of a slice of what became Afghanistan, and continued into 1889, when Britain seems to have “established a casino” in Iran.

The litany of shame galloped through the 20th century, pausing to dwell on the Salman Rushdie affair when Britain’s biggest offence was, it appears, to have “protected” the author rather than give him up to be murdered.

The final entry on the “Kayhan” indictment occurred as recently as 2009, when the Foreign Office allegedly masterminded the street protests against Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s disputed re-election.

This catalogue of infamy presented Britain as monstrously cunning, implacably ruthless – and possessed of almost magical power. In real life, our diplomats are excruciatingly well-intentioned; in Tehran, these distinctly unfox-like officials are credited with the ability to conjure revolutions from thin air, as if they might wake up one day and beguile hundreds of thousands of Iranians into filling the streets.

Such were the characteristics imposed upon the inoffensive figure of Mr Hammond during his two days in Tehran. So how did this particular idea of Britain take hold in Iran – and why have the two old enemies restored full diplomatic relations now?

Iran’s attitude towards Britain is explained by a crucial paradox. On paper, the country was always independent and never part of the Empire – Iran was not painted red on the map. But, in reality, London ran the place anyway.

Britain needed Iran as a source of oil and a buffer state to protect India from Russian expansion. Yet the chosen method of control was veiled and indirect. Instead of conquering Iran, Britain made itself the power behind the “peacock throne” of a succession of pliant Shahs.

This meant that Iran never had an Independence Day, marking a clear and unambiguous transfer of power. Hence some Iranians still question whether their country is genuinely the master of its fate. Every event, whether trivial or tumultuous, is put down to the work of cunning outsiders.

The last Shah, Mohammad-Reza Pahlavi, went to his grave believing that Britain had masterminded his downfall by organising, of all things, the Islamic Revolution in 1979. Fast-forward three decades and Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, the Supreme Leader, bluntly declared that Britain was behind the mass demonstrations in 2009.

Iranian rulers - whether Shahs or Ayatollahs - tend to think the British are out to get them. And ordinary Iranians often believe that whoever might pretend to be in charge of their country is actually a puppet of shadowy foreigners.

So why did London and Tehran both consent to reopen the British Embassy? And how did Mr Hammond come to be watching a Union Flag being raised in the heart of Tehran, where it now flies over the Embassy’s five acres of emerald lawn and elegant Victorian architecture?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/iran/11823943/In-Irans-eyes-Britain-is-still-the-old-fox.html

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It's all part of a master plan to resurrect the Queen Mother, reinstate the British Empire, and turn Iran into a nation of drunk gambling nudists. :wacko:

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All wrong, as usual, because it doesn't make any sense. Our secret lizard alien overlords are also Iran's alien overlords, along with every other country. Why would they bother going for one particular one at a remove like that?

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It's all part of a master plan to resurrect the Queen Mother, reinstate the British Empire, and turn Iran into a nation of drunk gambling nudists. :wacko:

I rather think you're too late...

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I rather think you're too late...

A Wizard is never late, young hobbit. :blink:

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Well, they give a lot more credit to our foreign office / secret services than anybody here does!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/middleeast/iran/11823943/In-Irans-eyes-Britain-is-still-the-old-fox.html

well they aren't far of the mark!

it's actually canada.....the worlds best kept secret.

.and most of them originally came from britain(well scotland,ireland and northern france)

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The British steal their women as well!

Ah maybe that's their worry. :o;)

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Actually, the Anglo-American overthrow of Iran's deomcratically elected leader and replacement with the first Shah is pretty shameful. It was all about oil, as usual.

If we were fairer with how we paid the local laborers, that would've avoided problems, however the populist reformer the first Shah replaced could've ended up an idiot like Hugo Chavez and Iran would probably just ended up like today's Turkey.

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When I hear about British influence in Iran from my family and friends I always point out that they can thank the British that Iran didn't end up as a province of the Russian Empire - Soviet Union.

That tends to shut them up!

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There's also a nasty streak of anti-Semitism running through more political minded Iranians (the usual tinfoil hat rubbish about Jews and looking down on Arabs as a dumb working underclass). And they hate, HATE being lumped in with Arabs, despite many centuries of cultural and genetic crossover between Iranians and some Arabs, making them relatively hard for non-ME people to distinguish between.

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There's also a nasty streak of anti-Semitism running through more political minded Iranians (the usual tinfoil hat rubbish about Jews and looking down on Arabs as a dumb working underclass). And they hate, HATE being lumped in with Arabs, despite many centuries of cultural and genetic crossover between Iranians and some Arabs, making them relatively hard for non-ME people to distinguish between.

Aye. Or Yorkshire from Lancashire. It's all in the name. Iranian names don't sound Arabic.

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Idris Elba for bond...

what do they do when bond decides he's bent?

I guess some rather awkward bedroom scenes and "bond boys"

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