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Men Refusing To Get Married


Frank Hovis

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HOLA441

That is true and you did the right thing in that respect. Just cutting off contact without explanation would have been a bit cruel.

Weird things happen. One long time GF wanted to part with me. No hostility involved. I hired and drove the van, she put the fuel in, and I dropped her stuff off in Manchester, returning to London and then back to Bristol for me, and she never ever contacted me since. I think that's weird after 8 years together. :wacko: You usually get an email after a while.

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HOLA445

Found this.... https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/relationships/relationship-problems/relationship-breakdown-and-housing/if-you-live-with-your-partner-relationship-breakdown-and-housing/if-you-live-with-your-partner-and-you-own-your-home-relationship-breakdown-and-housing/relationship-breakdown-and-housing-rights-if-your-partner-owns-the-home/ Circumstances when you may be able to stay

There are some circumstances when you may be able to stay in the home. These are set out below. Show that you have an interest in the home

You may be able to show that you have a beneficial interest in the property. For example, if you have contributed to its cost, or if there was an intention that both you and your partner would share the value of the property.

As far as cohabiting couples are concerned, if only one person is the owner or tenant then the other is protected under provisions of the 1981 Act and cannot be locked out or forced to leave. The main difference is that the cohabitants right to occupy is not automatic and he or she has to have the right declared by a court

Holy crap.

Never cohabit. Ever.

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HOLA446

Marriage, and life-time cohabitation, are finished. The institution of marriage, whether state sanctioned or 'common law' has no validity any more because:

a. there is no economic reason for a woman to stay with a man, because women are economically independent and equal to men.

b. there is no need for a man to 'protect' a woman because the state does this.

c. there is no reason to marry to have legitimate offspring - there is no stigma attached to bastardy because of equal state financial support for all children.

d. only a tiny fraction of people in the west believe in a genuine religious reason to marry; most of which are on shaky religious grounds anyway (marriage in church in England was only compulsory between 1723 and 1837 so it's only been part of Christian culture in England for a tiny period of time.

e. no-fault divorce laws mean marriage can simply be dissolved at the stroke of a pen for no reason other than 'I'm not haaaaaappy.'

f. people (especially women) have almost unlimited opportunities for anonymous infidelity with no consequences whatsoever, so there is always the idea of someone better around the corner.

The only reason people are left with is 'love', (eros/philos). 'Eros' (sexual love) for most people wears off after a couple of years. If you're lucky it turns into 'philos' (friendship/partnership). Of course this always happened, but the legal, religious and economic strictures which forced people to stay together and which may have helped foster 'philos' have gone.

Whether or not this sea-change is a good thing I couldn't say. Certainly, it must have been pretty grim in the old days for people trapped in loveless and abusive marriages. You only have to look at all the old 'take my wife' type jokes to see that.

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HOLA447

Holy crap.

Never cohabit. Ever.

It all seems to be driven, as ?debtlessman says, by the desire to reduce the benefit bill.

Without that provision you may have somebody needing housing benefit.

Without the big divorce settlement the wife, if she's not worked and has no assets, would need to claim benefits.

So yet again the state neatly sidesteps its responsibilities and trims the benefit bill.

We've had students who shouldn't be anywhere near a seat of higher education funding three years' unemployment and housing benefit, divorced women of rich men winning lottery-level sums so that they will never need to claim benefits, and now it's going out to co-habitees as well.

There was what I though to be a loony tunes story on the 9-9 interesting thread about people marrying themselves. It would actually seem a logical move to keep your assets!

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HOLA448

The only reason people are left with is 'love', (eros/philos). 'Eros' (sexual love) for most people wears off after a couple of years. If you're lucky it turns into 'philos' (friendship/partnership).

Quite, which is one of the reasons why I mentioned my little story. A lot of people out there chasing both E and P even approaching their middle years when afaic P should be considered a bit of a result.

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HOLA4410

There was what I though to be a loony tunes story on the 9-9 interesting thread about people marrying themselves. It would actually seem a logical move to keep your assets!

That's what I did Frank. I'm a Boson, not a Fermion that seeks another half. :huh: For the Physicists out there. :blink:

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HOLA4412

The only answer is to have your partner live next door, and to do everything with them through a hole in the wall.

That's an Orthodox thing! :blink:

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HOLA4415

Weird things happen. One long time GF wanted to part with me. No hostility involved. I hired and drove the van, she put the fuel in, and I dropped her stuff off in Manchester, returning to London and then back to Bristol for me, and she never ever contacted me since. I think that's weird after 8 years together. :wacko: You usually get an email after a while.

Because you dropped her stuff off in Manchester, but she was in Leeds.

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HOLA4417

Marriage, and life-time cohabitation, are finished. The institution of marriage, whether state sanctioned or 'common law' has no validity any more because:

a. there is no economic reason for a woman to stay with a man, because women are economically independent and equal to men.

b. there is no need for a man to 'protect' a woman because the state does this.

c. there is no reason to marry to have legitimate offspring - there is no stigma attached to bastardy because of equal state financial support for all children.

d. only a tiny fraction of people in the west believe in a genuine religious reason to marry; most of which are on shaky religious grounds anyway (marriage in church in England was only compulsory between 1723 and 1837 so it's only been part of Christian culture in England for a tiny period of time.

e. no-fault divorce laws mean marriage can simply be dissolved at the stroke of a pen for no reason other than 'I'm not haaaaaappy.'

f. people (especially women) have almost unlimited opportunities for anonymous infidelity with no consequences whatsoever, so there is always the idea of someone better around the corner.

The only reason people are left with is 'love', (eros/philos). 'Eros' (sexual love) for most people wears off after a couple of years. If you're lucky it turns into 'philos' (friendship/partnership). Of course this always happened, but the legal, religious and economic strictures which forced people to stay together and which may have helped foster 'philos' have gone.

Whether or not this sea-change is a good thing I couldn't say. Certainly, it must have been pretty grim in the old days for people trapped in loveless and abusive marriages. You only have to look at all the old 'take my wife' type jokes to see that.

You forgot marrying for a visa.

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HOLA4418

I'm actually detecting a cover story here.

"So you say that you haven't heard from her since Mr Pin. Do you not find that a trifle.... odd?"

I do find that odd! I know how she is doing through a mutual friend. :huh:

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HOLA4420

Have you ever considered consciously upping your Tw@t Appeal, just a little, just for a bit?

There are blokes that do not seem attractive to women. They are not attractive to anyone. But Joe is a tall nerd, and that worked for me! :blink:;);) Actually I am a complete and utter tw@t too!

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HOLA4421

There are blokes that do not seem attractive to women. They are not attractive to anyone. But Joe is a tall nerd, and that worked for me! :blink:;);) Actually I am a complete and utter tw@t too!

I can't be the only chap to have noticed that one of the delicious ironies of his life is the frequent negative correlation between his ongoing interest in a particular lady and their interest in him.

edit: can I?

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HOLA4422

I can't be the only chap to have noticed that one of the delicious ironies of his life is the frequent negative correlation between his ongoing interest in a particular lady and their interest in him.

edit: can I?

They come from dark corners, Mr Mahoney. Sometimes you think "what a nice girl, nice girl for somebody else". One night you are now "somebody else" and now you have to man up to it or run! :blink:;) And it is sometimes never the one you think. :wacko:

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HOLA4423

They come from dark corners, Mr Mahoney. Sometimes you think "what a nice girl, nice girl for somebody else". One night you are now "somebody else" and now you have to man up to it or run! :blink:;) And it is sometimes never the one you think. :wacko:

Nicely put. We are in accord.

Glad it's not just me...

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HOLA4424

Nicely put. We are in accord.

Glad it's not just me...

I actually have two hands BTW, my Amish bowling chum! Helps with the guitar. Life is like a bag of M&Ms. Half of it tastes like sh1t. :wacko:

Still I am ever the optimist. ^_^

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