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longgone

Anyone Been To The Doctor Lately --Nsfw

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You've obviously seen my script for "**** Hospital" which never made it past a pilot episode. :blink:

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I was told this story by my brother just recently and never thought I'd have the perfect opportunity to retell it.

One of his mates is a paramedic. He was called out late one night to a house, found the door open, went in calling out and the guy in need called back.

He found him on the floor of his conservatory with half a broom sticking out of his a***.

The paramedic was unable or unwilling to remove it (!) and took the guy into hospital.

Ever seen "Night at the Museum"?

When he took him out of the house to the ambulance, he put a sheet over the man so nobody could see exactly what had happened.

The hump in the sheet made it look like one of the dinosaurs from the film was being transported.

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I think I should have got three series out of this! :blink: A nurse lady I know has told me some unbelievable ******** accident stories.

It would be better than "Dexter" anyhow. :wacko:

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was it a light bulb moment ?

guy-light-bulb-remove-from-rectum-doctor

What idiot would stick a fragile glass object up their bottom?

There are much more solid glass objects made for this. :wacko:

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I recall in Graham Chapman's biography him talking about the various things he and colleagues had extracted from people's bottoms; umbrellas, small artillery shells, all sorts

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I recall in Graham Chapman's biography him talking about the various things he and colleagues had extracted from people's bottoms; umbrellas, small artillery shells, all sorts

You should have more respect for your bottom. That is the Word of Pin. Soft things only. :blink:

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Love the way the entire operating team are stood there getting selfies with the guy/gal with a dildo up their ar**.

I'm sure it happens, but I'm surprised they want the whole world to know..

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Love the way the entire operating team are stood there getting selfies with the guy/gal with a dildo up their ar**.

I'm sure it happens, but I'm surprised they want the whole world to know..

I'm sure the "probably self inflicted" accidentee didn't want the world to know. :wacko:

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My sister was an a&e nurse. Had a guy come in with the hose of a vacuum cleaner stuck on his knob. Turned out he had taken the bus to hospital, carrying the vacuum cleaner with him.

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My sister was an a&e nurse. Had a guy come in with the hose of a vacuum cleaner stuck on his knob. Turned out he had taken the bus to hospital, carrying the vacuum cleaner with him.

Amazingly, using the wrong tool for the wrong purpose sometimes results in "accidents". He should have used a vagina. Half the people on the planet have them. :unsure:

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I was told this story by my brother just recently and never thought I'd have the perfect opportunity to retell it.

One of his mates is a paramedic. He was called out late one night to a house, found the door open, went in calling out and the guy in need called back.

He found him on the floor of his conservatory with half a broom sticking out of his a***.

The paramedic was unable or unwilling to remove it (!) and took the guy into hospital.

Ever seen "Night at the Museum"?

When he took him out of the house to the ambulance, he put a sheet over the man so nobody could see exactly what had happened.

The hump in the sheet made it look like one of the dinosaurs from the film was being transported.

Quidditch training gone wrong?

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You mean like Faggot the gerbil ... old old story from Private Eye

Didn't some comedian get up to that (allegedly) ? :blink:

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If you are going to stick a dildo up your bottom (it probably feels like having a big poo continuously) then for goodness sake, tie a long rope around the base, so you can at least either pull it out, or tie around a door handle so you can fall forwards and it will "pop" out.

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If you are going to stick a dildo up your bottom (it probably feels like having a big poo continuously) then for goodness sake, tie a long rope around the base, so you can at least either pull it out, or tie around a door handle so you can fall forwards and it will "pop" out.

Here speaks the voice of experience? :unsure::o;)

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No lol - I was thinking if anyone had come up with the idea - they could make a fortune with a new invention!

As this is such a global problem, then a new type of dildo could be made - I did a google image search to see if anyone had come up with it - I found some really weird pictures on crocofetish, but otherwise I don't think anyone has come up with it!

We should see some NHS warning posters on billboards one day, warning people about sticking things in the bottom.

Also as it is SUCH a problem, maybe anus guards, to stop people falling onto these objects! No one has thought of that yet either!

You can imagine the national database forms that are complied from the NHS.

A&E Admission: Object removal from anus

Cause: Patient fell onto broom

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No lol - I was thinking if anyone had come up with the idea - they could make a fortune with a new invention!

As this is such a global problem, then a new type of dildo could be made - I did a google image search to see if anyone had come up with it - I found some really weird pictures on crocofetish, but otherwise I don't think anyone has come up with it!

We should see some NHS warning posters on billboards one day, warning people about sticking things in the bottom.

Also as it is SUCH a problem, maybe anus guards, to stop people falling onto these objects! No one has thought of that yet either!

You can imagine the national database forms that are complied from the NHS.

A&E Admission: Object removal from anus

Cause: Patient fell onto broom

Yup, I've heard cracking stories from a nurse I used to share a house with. :blink: From a previous poster, a "pint beer glass". That must have taken some "dedication". :huh:

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A vicar claims a potato got stuck up his bottom after he fell on to the vegetable while hanging curtains in the nude.
Vicar hospitalised with potato up his bum
The clergyman, in his 50s, told medical staff at Sheffield’s Northern General Hospital that the accident was definitely not due to a sex game.He had to undergo surgery to extract the spud from his backside, according to The Sun.A&E nurse Trudi Watson said: ‘He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in he kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.’But it’s not for me to question his story.’

http://metro.co.uk/2008/10/31/vicar-hospitalised-with-potato-up-his-bum-95117/

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