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juvenal

Dierdre Barlow On My Leg

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I have seen several people all with Mr. Bean tats on their legs. I have seen a man with Stan Laurel on one thigh and Oliver Hardy on the other.

I have seen a man with Mickey Mouse's face tattooed on his groin with Mickey's nose being you know what.

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My best sighting was on Weymouth beach. A man's back covered with a full fox-hunting scene - riders, horses, hounds etc - with the fox's brush just visible between the bum cheeks as it reached the safety of its hole.

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I saw a girl with Michael Jackson's face tatooed on her back. Like a massive tatoo of Jacko on her back.

Would fair put you off your stroke, wouldn't it; Jacko staring back at you.

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I saw a girl with Michael Jackson's face tatooed on her back. Like a massive tatoo of Jacko on her back.

Would fair put you off your stroke, wouldn't it; Jacko staring back at you.

:lol:

Yes...the spectre of MJ in the heat of the moment. :blink:

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Seriously, I've watched the rise + rise of tatoo parlours over the last 20 odd years.

They must be coining it in from idiots.

I mean, I';ll give a pass to an 18 yo who gets a tatoo.

But a flabby 50 yo, with a body like a bin bag filled with lard???? - 'Nope, I can see what it is. A dragon you say'.

I can't draw fro sht1.

But Im going to buy myself a laser and set up in removals.

It pays twice as much ,takes 4 times longer and I can put up the the smell of burning flesh.

I remember asking a chubby if the dog paws on her tits were transfers.

The quizzical look on her face when she said 'No', and I fell off my seat.

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In my youth there was a brilliant local tattoo artist who worked from his bedroom - and later a fully kitted-out Transit van - who could draw anything on skin to a very high artistic standard.

Unfortunately he was also totally dyslexic.

Unless you wrote whatever legend you needed scrawling below your latest tat on a piece of paper in block capitals and gave it to him before he started writing it on your arm, it would invariably contain several spelling mistakes.

Ones he took instructions for verbally that I actually saw 1st-hand in the flesh were "Goerdies Rule" and "Maid In Hartlepool"

Needless to say he often got a good kicking once someone like me pointed out the spelling mistake to the tattoo's new owner... :)

XYY

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In my youth there was a brilliant local tattoo artist who worked from his bedroom - and later a fully kitted-out Transit van - who could draw anything on skin to a very high artistic standard.

Unfortunately he was also totally dyslexic.

Unless you wrote whatever legend you needed scrawling below your latest tat on a piece of paper in block capitals and gave it to him before he started writing it on your arm, it would invariably contain several spelling mistakes.

Ones he took instructions for verbally that I actually saw 1st-hand in the flesh were "Goerdies Rule" and "Maid In Hartlepool"

Needless to say he often got a good kicking once someone like me pointed out the spelling mistake to the tattoo's new owner... :)

XYY

That is both funny and somewhat very sad.

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That is both funny and somewhat very sad.

As are all the best true-life stories Mr Tulip :)

His local rival didn't have anywhere near the artistic talent, but was a fair bit cheaper, so the "Maid In Hartlepool" bloke went there for his next inking - a portrait of Jesus on his forearm.

He drops in the pub a few days later and reveals this masterpiece to us all. There was a long silence as we beheld this long-haired bearded icon he proudly displayed, until finally someone said "Sorry Graham, I understand it might be useful in December, but why would you want a picture of Santa Claus on your arm for the rest of the year..?"

He actually had to get JESUS tattooed under it later to stop all the piss-take we gave him.

Though obviously not by the dyslexic bloke...! :)

XYY

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Setting up in Laser removals is the way to go, often thought of it myself.

I've mentioned on here before that i'm having my 3 tattoo's removed by laser at the moment they are going well. It costs me £100 a time i get all 3 hit together every 12 weeks.

You can re-zap them every 6 weeks if you must get it done asap. I sit in the char for about 20mins all in thats a good hourly rate for the job.

Laser equipment would pay for it self in 2-3 months

This tattoo resurgence is all a big fad and certain genres of tattoo are dated you can identify someone from the genre / fad they bought into

like Tribal - 2005 (hideous now and attracts scorn)

British bulldog / tasmanian devil / dolphins on breasts - early 90's etc

Nothing says trampy like the lower back tribal piece of butterfly on a woman

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Yes I know a few tattooed folk who think their 'unique' choice of tattoo makes them oh so interesting and deep.

I think they look stupid and/or trashy. Loathe them on women.

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I can't help but notice that the topic title scans perfectly with the "you're not singing anymore" song.

Try it:

"Deirdre Barlow on my leeeeeeg

Deeeeeeidre Barlow ooooon my leeeeeeg"

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The tattoo'ist wanted to sleeve both my arms to cover up my 3 tattoo's i got when i was 16, he said he would use his laser to knock the colour iut of them before tattoo'ing over the top with full sleeves. I said no way just laser them off i'll go through the hassle.

I will never get another tattoo & wish i didn't get them as a teenager.

I have a dragon an eagle and a grim reaper lol

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Setting up in Laser removals is the way to go, often thought of it myself.

I've mentioned on here before that i'm having my 3 tattoo's removed by laser at the moment they are going well. It costs me £100 a time i get all 3 hit together every 12 weeks.

You can re-zap them every 6 weeks if you must get it done asap. I sit in the char for about 20mins all in thats a good hourly rate for the job.

Laser equipment would pay for it self in 2-3 months

This tattoo resurgence is all a big fad and certain genres of tattoo are dated you can identify someone from the genre / fad they bought into

like Tribal - 2005 (hideous now and attracts scorn)

British bulldog / tasmanian devil / dolphins on breasts - early 90's etc

Nothing says trampy like the lower back tribal piece of butterfly on a woman

The maths look good for removal.

I'd guess your 3 cost ~200 each originally ?

Removal is 1,200.

And, like I said, I cannot draw for sh1t. But I do have quite a high tolerance for other people's pain ...

Two things struck walking around Whitby last summer.

1) The number of people who had switched to e-fags. Genuinely shocked. About half the smokers had switched.

2) The age of the people and the size of the tatoo. You can tell how fresh a tatoo - they fade. I was seeing people way ober 35 i.e. an age when must people have susses that tatoos are crap. I reckon I was looking at people who had spent nigh on 2k to get very large, naff tatoo.

8k worth of business in 5 years time.

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As are all the best true-life stories Mr Tulip :)

His local rival didn't have anywhere near the artistic talent, but was a fair bit cheaper, so the "Maid In Hartlepool" bloke went there for his next inking - a portrait of Jesus on his forearm.

He drops in the pub a few days later and reveals this masterpiece to us all. There was a long silence as we beheld this long-haired bearded icon he proudly displayed, until finally someone said "Sorry Graham, I understand it might be useful in December, but why would you want a picture of Santa Claus on your arm for the rest of the year..?"

He actually had to get JESUS tattooed under it later to stop all the piss-take we gave him.

Though obviously not by the dyslexic bloke...! :)

XYY

:lol:

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Setting up in Laser removals is the way to go, often thought of it myself.

I've mentioned on here before that i'm having my 3 tattoo's removed by laser at the moment they are going well. It costs me £100 a time i get all 3 hit together every 12 weeks.

You can re-zap them every 6 weeks if you must get it done asap. I sit in the char for about 20mins all in thats a good hourly rate for the job.

Laser equipment would pay for it self in 2-3 months

This tattoo resurgence is all a big fad and certain genres of tattoo are dated you can identify someone from the genre / fad they bought into

like Tribal - 2005 (hideous now and attracts scorn)

British bulldog / tasmanian devil / dolphins on breasts - early 90's etc

Nothing says trampy like the lower back tribal piece of butterfly on a woman

Thought you had to be a doctor to remove tattoos?

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My Pal has a tattoo of Oor Wullie sitting on a bucket holding aloff a Hearts scarf.

Oor Wullie is from Dundee.

The tattoo bloke told him he has never seen one like that before. No shit !!

And yes - laser removal is a winner for the future.

As for me - no tattoo and no beard - I am cool as ****** and how original. :)

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CIx2MAVWUAAWzXd.jpg

Beard alert!

Write this out 500 times. I will be internet famous, I will be internet famous, I will be internet famous, I will be internet famous...
Then I can put down 0.0001% deposit for a house.

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I have seen a man with Mickey Mouse's face tattooed on his groin with Mickey's nose being you know what.

Thinking of getting Dumbo done on mine.....

Once saw a US marine staff sergeant, or whatever they call staffys, with a full set of military insignia tattooed on. Stripes and rockers, collar insignia, medals, everything except the cap badge.

I couldn't help wondering what his not inconsiderable collection of medals would look like when he was eighty... Like a row of Salvador Dali clocks I suppose.

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CIx2MAVWUAAWzXd.jpg

Beard alert!

Write this out 500 times. I will be internet famous, I will be internet famous, I will be internet famous, I will be internet famous...
Then I can put down 0.0001% deposit for a house.

Aside from the stupidity, I find the location very strange. It's almost as if "I'll accommodate my inner self slightly, that knows this is stupid, by putting it on the inside of my calf"

Also, what are the two black slashes either side ?

Edited to delete some of what I wrote in case they are 'on the edge', mentally

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