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50 Shades Of Drivel

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http://i100.independent.co.uk/article/the-most-tortured-prose-from-the-new-fifty-shades-book--ZkedTH1e5We

She has a fresh, wholesome fragrance that reminds me of my grandfather’s apple orchard.
She vomits again and again, her hands on the brick. It’s pitiful.
As we stand inside I make a mental note to f–k her in an elevator one day.

More choice quotes at the link, if you can take it.

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Under normal circumstances her maladroitness would irritate the hell out of me…
Absentmindedly, she wipes a crumb from the corner of her lips and into her mouth and sucks on her finger. My **** twitches in response.
What am I, fourteen?
She’s too young. She’s too inexperienced but, damn, I like the feel of her hand in mine.
I watch her dunk the teabag in the teapot. It’s an elaborate and messy spectacle…As she tells me she likes her tea weak and black, for a moment I think she’s describing what she likes in a man.
Get a grip, Grey.
She’s talking about tea.

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Not more unfortunate allusion to American Psycho. Wasn't that written in the male first person too?

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...

she’s describing what she likes in a man. Get a grip, Grey. She’s talking about tea.

Under normal circumstances her maladroitness would irritate the hell out of me…

I think you'll find that quote is actually from 'Fifty Shades of Earl Grey'

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Milking it for all she can. If people (women in this case) are dumb enough to pay for this nonsense - then fair play.

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Not more unfortunate allusion to American Psycho. Wasn't that written in the male first person too?

Phew, I thought someone had stumbled upon my diary although it wasn't quite my style.

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Has there been any good articles from the lefty feminist types trying to explain why women love this book so much?

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Guest eight

Phew, I thought someone had stumbled upon my diary although it wasn't quite my style.

My wife left a diary on her bedside table the other day, and I couldn't resist a sneaky peek. Good job I did - turns out she is love with some guy called Peter. I'm going to track him down and give him a good hiding, if we ever get out of this loft.

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Has there been any good articles from the lefty feminist types trying to explain why women love this book so much?

Women are strange!

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