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Why Don't You Just Buy.....

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Had this recently as moving from one rented place to another. Dinner with family yesterday (Lots of them !!) and I was mentioning this. Two of them piped up straight away "Why don't you just buy?".

Now that's up to them and their opinion - but its the impression that you are doing something wrong that is interesting.

The two that said this were - unsurprisingly - mortgage holders. Three of the other people in the room have - in the past couple of years - had serious issues and worries caused by buying a place. Everyone knows this. One with nightmare neighbours - and the other two with desperately trying to sell and being unable to - even after dropping the price a fair whack. Both took over two years to finally sell.

Now there are upsides to buying - and downsides. And of course the same goes for renting. It still surprises me though - after all the hassles and mess that's been caused by mortgages and the rest of it in the last few decades - that so many people still immediately think there is something wrong with you if you choose option B rather than option A. When both are perfectly reasonable.

Personally - the thought of buying somewhere - that turns out to be a complete nightmare - trumps the 'paying someone else s mortgage' argument at present. That may well change in the future - however its not exactly unreasonable.

Anyone else had this recently ? It seemed to calm down a bit after the whole meltdown 2008 onwards. However appears that peoples short memories have got to the point where its all go - jump in you cant go wrong with Property !!

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It's the word "just" that really grates me when I get that question - normally asked by someone with so little common sense that I wonder how they find their way home at night. It's the inference that I'm somehow needlessly complicating my life and that they are so much smarter than I am simply by virtue of having taken on a truly massive debt liability.

However, I think that deep down, there's something in these people that realises it's a ponzi scheme, and that they need the rest of us to join in. I don't think they necessarily consciously realise it, but subconsciously there's something about people like us that they find discomforting, perhaps even threatening.

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a long long time ago, in a Thatcher World Far Far away, I used to say to people unhappy in their work.."just go self employed"

Then I learned.

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I've bought & rented (mostly bought). Just prefer buying - it feels like I have a bit more control over my life.

Incidentally, my experience of buyers is that they are far from the smug gits people here seem to know. They know that HPI is irrational, must end sometime & is bad for their kids, but what to do? We're all small cogs in a very big machine.

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It's the word "just" that really grates me when I get that question - normally asked by someone with so little common sense that I wonder how they find their way home at night. It's the inference that I'm somehow needlessly complicating my life and that they are so much smarter than I am simply by virtue of having taken on a truly massive debt liability.

Maybe you're reading too much into one word?

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Yeah we get this all the time. Most notably from people who have very recently bought / taken on a big mortgage.

'When are you going to buy a house then?' Its a funny one, the programming is so strong from birth that we assume the right to openly question peoples life choices as soon as we have attained the noble title of 'homeowner'. It truly is seen as a growing up thing in the UK. You have taken the step up the social/class scale by taking on that huge debt, you have earned the right to put up shelves, choose the colour of your curtains, and talk down to renters. It's a bloody odd one.

But I also suspect that deep down, probably buried into the subconscious level at point of signing up for the mortgage, there is a nagging doubt and fear that eats away (buyers remorse or whatever) that is perversely sated by directing it at the renter class below. The doubt being that have I really just signed up to a quarter of a million pounds of debt for thirty years for a three bed shitbox...

Pure mass brainwashing in action. Even my real close friends cannot resist it.

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It's the word "just" that really grates me when I get that question - normally asked by someone with so little common sense that I wonder how they find their way home at night. It's the inference that I'm somehow needlessly complicating my life and that they are so much smarter than I am simply by virtue of having taken on a truly massive debt liability.

However, I think that deep down, there's something in these people that realises it's a ponzi scheme, and that they need the rest of us to join in. I don't think they necessarily consciously realise it, but subconsciously there's something about people like us that they find discomforting, perhaps even threatening.

Brother's pal kept pointing out the renters and the owners, whenever he went around to visit his owner friend, at his plush Manchester apartment complex in 2006. Brother's pal always bigging up owning to him. His pal had to sell in 2008 (money issues) at a big drop. (Before Global Victim Reflation).

Sister's friend upsized a couple of years ago. (£350K boring looking house in not special area of the NW). It's a split of above. At times the friend 'big owner brag' aloofness. Sometimes the sales pitch to my sis, buying / home of your own. At other times, some nervy doubt in her manner, as if my sister's reluctance to buy (stay renting) is doing the right thing in changeable market making her uncomfortable.

More recent younger buyers aren't likely to be that smug ****-eyed octopus, carrying dock-off mortgage they chose to get. It's the equity rich/owner outright older owning majority where that tends to manifest itself. Older owner side sat on £Trillions in equity.

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In fairness, it's not really smugness that I tend to see, more a sort of frustration that I "don't get it" as it appears from their point of view.

Which is fine, as long as the person expressing it can then explain to me why it is that they think it was a good idea to take on a massive mortgage at 300 year emergency interest rate lows in a world where globalisation means that their wages aren't going anywhere fast, and accepts that if and when tshtf, then they made their own bed to lie in.

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Yeah we get this all the time. Most notably from people who have very recently bought / taken on a big mortgage.

'When are you going to buy a house then?' Its a funny one, the programming is so strong from birth that we assume the right to openly question peoples life choices as soon as we have attained the noble title of 'homeowner'. It truly is seen as a growing up thing in the UK. You have taken the step up the social/class scale by taking on that huge debt, you have earned the right to put up shelves, choose the colour of your curtains, and talk down to renters. It's a bloody odd one.

But I also suspect that deep down, probably buried into the subconscious level at point of signing up for the mortgage, there is a nagging doubt and fear that eats away (buyers remorse or whatever) that is perversely sated by directing it at the renter class below. The doubt being that have I really just signed up to a quarter of a million pounds of debt for thirty years for a three bed shitbox...

Pure mass brainwashing in action. Even my real close friends cannot resist it.

Yes I definately think there is something to that. I also think that 'I have done it so why don't you ?' aspect is central to it too.

No, I don't think I am.

I agree. People would never use the word 'just' for any other decision that's so potentially life changing and important and involves debt of hundreds of thousands of pounds. .

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In fairness, it's not really smugness that I tend to see, more a sort of frustration that I "don't get it" as it appears from their point of view.

Which is fine, as long as the person expressing it can then explain to me why it is that they think it was a good idea to take on a massive mortgage at 300 year emergency interest rate lows in a world where globalisation means that their wages aren't going anywhere fast, and accepts that if and when tshtf, then they made their own bed to lie in.

You don't get it? Don't get their logic of why best to buy? Here's some of the so-called 'non-smug' explanations.

Daily Mail

Average UK house price to hit £780,000 by 2040, says leading think tank

Kilo Charlie, My World, 9 hours ago

We purchased a property in 1983 for £72,000.........today it's worth £650,000 plus. It's certainly possible and quite likely.

Sam, Bucks, 3 hours ago

Bought house in ,74 for 16k added extention about £8k now valued at £480k you do the maths?

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Yes ^ :D

However I agree with fully detached observation on the age aspect. It does seem the smugness is generally from the older generation who have already had their 'lottery win'.

The younger 'why don't you just buy' crowd don't have this to get much smugness from.

Some may be down to fear - as mentioned already.

With myself - its the fact I have the most savings and earn the most money out of us all that probably gets their attention. They are probably thinking if they had that much money they would get a mortgage for £xxxxxx and buy some big amazing place. The fact that I dont really want a huge debt or to get rid of every penny of my savings - doesn't seem to hit home.

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A lady at work (50s) is selling her place and asked if I was interested .... she knows my salary can't be more than £50k (its much less but she probably doesn't know my grade). The house she's selling is £700k. They just don't understand!

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A lady at work (50s) is selling her place and asked if I was interested .... she knows my salary can't be more than £50k (its much less but she probably doesn't know my grade). The house she's selling is £700k. They just don't understand!

Lord. :o

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I get asked this a lot too. Currently happy enough renting (not the nicest place but it's relatively cheap so I can still save). Been with the GF for 4+ years, I'm 33 now and to be honest I'm starting to run out of excuses.. I've got about £20k deposit, parent's offering to match it (Dad is very much pro HPI). I went to a beer festival last week with Dad & Uncle and was asked it as soon as I walked up to them. Uncle is currently putting down £40k for Cousin's £200k 1 bed flat/shoebox...

I always think that 20 years ago couple's parents would ask "when are you going to get engaged/married". Nobody asks us this - they just ask when are we going to buy a house together. I seems that's the most important thing nowadays. My concern is I'm buying a house with someone I'm not even engaged to but I'm always told to not think about that, just buy a house!

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I get asked this a lot too. Currently happy enough renting (not the nicest place but it's relatively cheap so I can still save). Been with the GF for 4+ years, I'm 33 now and to be honest I'm starting to run out of excuses.. I've got about £20k deposit, parent's offering to match it (Dad is very much pro HPI). I went to a beer festival last week with Dad & Uncle and was asked it as soon as I walked up to them. Uncle is currently putting down £40k for Cousin's £200k 1 bed flat/shoebox...

I always think that 20 years ago couple's parents would ask "when are you going to get engaged/married". Nobody asks us this - they just ask when are we going to buy a house together. I seems that's the most important thing nowadays. My concern is I'm buying a house with someone I'm not even engaged to but I'm always told to not think about that, just buy a house!

Have you done the sums that show renting is better value where you live? (I assume so). Why not show them to your parents?

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Have you done the sums that show renting is better value where you live? (I assume so). Why not show them to your parents?

Yep, it falls on deaf ears.. If my rent were to be £50/month I'd still "be paying someone else's mortgage".

There is no reasoning with people like this. My brother bought a house in 2007 (!) and I spent a few hours one day making a spreadsheet showing how long he'd need to live in it before buying a bigger house with the same monthly cost (i.e. increasing equity in the house and saving towards next house). I did one showing +3% HPI, one @ 0% and one at -3%. He wouldn't even look at it! According to my sums, -3% would be ~8 years, +3% would be ~18 years. But of course, doubting HPI means you're in the wrong and makes anything you say invalid!

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Im pretty much the last remaining one of my circle of friends that hasnt bought. I think weve probably all been gifted anywhere between £50k and 200k (otherwise these guys have got SCARY sized mortgages). Personally, mine was £60k about 8 years ago and Ive both added to that and kept it in the best ISAs and the like. Have a very decent pot right now, around £130k and adding about £1.5k a month, on top of the rent. The missus has low five figures**, somewhere.

I get the odd question from my peers about when Im buying [although they often phrase it as moving over to the dark side], and I generally get away with saying I like the flexibility and I couldnt afford to live where I do if I bought, but the rent is easily serviceable. Thats fine, theyre my friends and its more of them asking how my life is going. They tend not to care about it as long as Im happy. No different in my opinion than being asked you still working at XXX?. I think at least in this circle, they know it was expensive but the euphoria of getting on the ladder was worth it. Obviously we dont know what will happen in the future but none of them have tried to sell yet and so there have been no negatives to sink in. But theres no pressure.

The parents, have accepted that I have my reasons and that they dont know anybody that analyses financial decisions (from buying potatoes to houses) as much as I do. Im confident that Im doing the best thing for me and they understand that I wouldnt want to look at my bank account and see -£300,000 or something every day. Thats got to be a big psychological hit. They think I should go for the security, regardless of cost, I dont. In fact, my savings and flexible living arrangements gave me the safety net to hand in my notice without a concrete offer elsewhere. I was able to say f*** it, Im having a year off to go abroad, in the end they doubled my salary (which is what I really wanted). That wouldnt have happened if I was on the hook for six figures.

Its definitely that generation that apply the pressure though, we were discussing my girlfriends sisters latest offer. I think its maybe a tad overpriced but itll be good for their children to get out of the (owned) 1 bed flat and into a family home. I said [to myself] as long as they arent stretching themselves then the price doesnt really matter as it genuinely is a forever home, and theyre both in secure jobs.

Then it hit. Her mother popped up with the fact that shes had to lend them another £10k (on top of the £15k she lent them for the flat) because what else are they going to do, they cant rent. Doubt itll be accepted on MMR/bank valuation.

Gave the missus the eyes and made her say we had to go now.

To answer the original question though, just keep quiet and say it's not the right time. You wouldn't fight a losing battle with a devout Christian / Muslim / Buddhist over their religion so don't start on a boomer about theirs. You'd go nuts.

** proud of her as she is the lowest paid of her siblings and none of that was "lent".

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A lady at work (50s) is selling her place and asked if I was interested .... she knows my salary can't be more than £50k (its much less but she probably doesn't know my grade). The house she's selling is £700k. They just don't understand!

LOL :lol: . The penny will drop, one day!

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A lady at work (50s) is selling her place and asked if I was interested .... she knows my salary can't be more than £50k (its much less but she probably doesn't know my grade). The house she's selling is £700k. They just don't understand!

Correction - "She's asking £700k for her house". You almost seemed to agree with "the price is what it's worth" by the way you worded it ;)

Regarding that word "just", I completely agree. Years ago BT had a similarly grating advertising slogan, with the word again that completely changed the sentence in a nasty, patronising way. It was

"Work smarter, not just harder".

:(

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A lady at work (50s) is selling her place and asked if I was interested .... she knows my salary can't be more than £50k (its much less but she probably doesn't know my grade). The house she's selling is £700k. They just don't understand!

YOu're probably making the mistake of actually spending some of what you earn on such frivolities and luxeries as food.

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