Bland Unsight's List Of Btl Bullshitters

[19 year mortgage 8itch]

http://www.housepricecrash.co.uk/forum/index.php?/topic/205517-manchester-buy-to-let/#entry1102756503

[Neverwhere]

http://www.housepricecrash.co.uk/forum/index.php?/topic/205517-manchester-buy-to-let/#entry1102756503

Do we need a minimum post count before we consider someone a poster and not a fly-by-night troll?

[19 year mortgage 8itch]

Do we need a minimum post count before we consider someone a poster and not a fly-by-night troll?

Every fishing expedition has to start somewhere.

[Neverwhere]

Every fishing expedition has to start somewhere.

You're right, it's probably well worth keeping track of the tiddlers, some of them may well come back for another nibble in the event of an actual price crash...

[Bland Unsight]

The list at 18 July 2015

BTL BSers

Milkshock
Mark Alexander


BTLers

BalancedBear

buckers
Le Grande Fromage
wotnocrash

BSers Aspiring to BTL

Reality



Ex-BTLers who struggle with sub-text and have issues with people who have vaginas

sleepwello'nights


Self-appointed Witchfinder General's Fickle Finger of Suspicion

Damocles

Edited July 18, 2015 by bland unsight

[Bland Unsight]

OK - So I've moved sleeps as you can see. sleeps has consistently presented themselves as having now disposed of the portfolio. For supporting argument and amusement read this.

[Bland Unsight]

OK - so Reality.

This looks a very good development

http://www.ipglobal-ltd.com/en/investors/property-portfolio/assembly/

No chance of a significant rate increase in the near term (5 years at least, irrespective of recent noise from Yellen). Decent yield, and a good play against the inflation that will hit when things really go south.

Now let's see. It's a good deal because rates aren't going to move significantly (hence completely unaware of the interest-rate sensitivity of buy-to-let net cash flows as mortgage rates approach the zero rate bound, i.e we don't need a significant move), no awareness of potential for capital losses following from the Summer Budget changes on the treatment of mortgage interest, and apparently a plan to hold the asset into an inflationary period, when rates will... anyone? anyone?

[Bland Unsight]

Welcome to the real business world...Interest rates, red tape, health and safety, all change all the time..It has been one of the biggest complaints and yet the flatness Government boasts about is never long lasting.

BTL is a 25 year game...did you really expect it to remain the same as the day you started?

No, I never expect any politicians to keep their word, or make life simple for anyone. However if their stated goal is to make things business friendly, they need to stop messing. However it does not mean people should not complain about what the government does.

Good enough for me - especially given the ridiculous amount of posting BogusBore is doing on the Summer Budget 2015 threads. If he's not on the payroll at ARLA he needs to consider whether he's really making the most effective use of his time.

[sleepwello'nights]

Ex-BTLers who struggle with sub-text and have issues with people who have vaginas

sleepwello'nights

I was intrigued and disappointed that you've run out of banter and could only point to my profile.

I was looking forward to continue mimicking your posts in your acerbic style.

<Yawn/> bored now, never liked bullies or ridicule as way to try and make a point.

Carry on, and on, and on, and on.

[Neverwhere]

I was intrigued and disappointed that you've run out of banter and could only point to my profile.

I was looking forward to continue mimicking your posts in your acerbic style.

<Yawn/> bored now, never liked bullies or ridicule as way to try and make a point.

Carry on, and on, and on, and on.

[Bland Unsight]

I was intrigued and disappointed that you've run out of banter and could only point to my profile.

I was looking forward to continue mimicking your posts in your acerbic style.

<Yawn/> bored now, never liked bullies or ridicule as way to try and make a point.

Carry on, and on, and on, and on.

I'm sorry if you are feeling bullied - I thought that we were just joking around.

As I said on the main board thread, I tend to underestimate how easy you are to wind up - or rather each time I tone it down in light of how easy you are to wind up I find that you still toss your toys out of the pram as if your life was at stake.

You are unlikely to see this, but the truth is that I have had to essentially stop responding to you because so many people are laughing at you behind your back. In my estimation, because your game is so weak, trying to joke around with you ends up casting me an unpleasant child burning an ant by focussing sunlight with a magnifying glass. (As you are bad with sub-text, it is hopefully not too patronising to clarify that you are cast as the unfortunate ant.)

For example, have you worked out yet that you were warned by the moderators because of the bunny boiling joke? For many of the rest of us, the fact that you went back and edited the comment addressed to Killer Bunny was literally laugh out loud funny.

You've made continual attempts to wind me up; "tart", "geeky", "bunny boiler" and you keep shooting drawing blanks. I have to confess that, unsurprisingly, your mimicry was so poor that I completely missed it. Colour me stupid. I'll keep a closer eye out in future.

I respect that your continual teacher-bashing might just be another unsuccessful attempt to wind me up. In light of that I realise that you may in fact already know from my posting that I was once a Chartered Accountant, (if so apologies for pointing it out again). I was interested to read that you are not ACA qualified; you appear from the 2009 post to be a book-keeper in a small accountancy firm.

I qualified ACA in the Financial Services Practice of one of the world's leading accountancy firms. ACA is no cake-walk, and if you're not the brightest, it was probably smart to avoid it. I hear CIMA is a lot easier - or maybe just a NVQ or something like that? A number of friends at the firm, including people with degrees from Oxford and Bristol in STEM subjects, failed a couple of exams along the way. I passed everything first time. I don't recall working that hard. So much for the Oxford clowns mocking us tabs.

I must say I found the work very dull, so I can see how the dull grunt work you appear to be involved in, sorting out accounts for sole traders and nonsense like that, leaves you angry at the end of the day. When I was at the firm there were still a couple of unqualified book-keepers knocking around, and they really were like fish out of water as all the young graduates on the training route leapfrogged their salaries in no time at all. It could be humiliating, if you chose to see it a certain way.

If tilting at windmills with me helps you sublimate that quiet rage and sleep better, I'm glad that I can help. Anyway, for old times sake, and only because you explicitly stated that you were disappointed, and just to prove that I'm sparing you the banter on the main board out of compassion, can you fill me in - what did your ex-wife and her tennis coach do with the gains from your buy-to-let portfolio?

[before you get too excited about this reply, I must point out that you are not the intended reader]

[Bland Unsight]

I was intrigued and disappointed that you've run out of banter and could only point to my profile.

For the record, the hyper-links from the names have always been to profiles, a truth that you could have ascertained for yourself by clicking any of the other links to any of the other posters. The fact that you didn't and instead interpreted it as evidence of me having run out of, holds nose, "

" merely shows that you are cracking. (Profanity warning. Also Walter's line at the front of the clip, before he's cut off by Jesus, has some relevance here: "This is not a worthy ***king adversary". The man in the black pyjamas you ain't.)

Edited July 18, 2015 by bland unsight

[Neverwhere]

[Bland Unsight]

Moving on.

I know that a few posters have noticed and noted that the BTL brigade seem to be a dissident group regarding how to spell Osborne, favouring Osbourne. Goodness knows why. Nevertheless, is does allow me to propose a new word:

morourn - a speculative investor in property who is about to get their face ripped off by George Osborne's 2015 Summer Budget.

Edited July 19, 2015 by bland unsight

[Neverwhere]

morourn - a speculative investor in property who is about to get their face ripped off by George Osborne's 2015 Summer Budget.

To go alongside dockery and munster in The Meaning of Liff

Dockery (n.)

Facetious behaviour adopted by an accused man in the mistaken belief that this will endear him to the judge.

Munster (n.)

A person who continually brings up the subject of property prices.

[Exiled Canadian]

Moving on.

I know that a few posters have noticed and noted that the BTL brigade seem to be a dissident group regarding how to spell Osborne, favouring Osbourne. Goodness knows why. Nevertheless, is does allow me to propose a new word:

morourn - a speculative investor in property who is about to get their face ripped off by George Osborne's 2015 Summer Budget.

Could I propose "mewcuffed" ?

The situation where one is unable to actually unwind a BTL portfolio because to do so will chrystalise captital gains tax bills that cannot be met from the equity proceeds of the disposals, as a result of having previously leveraged up against the "equity" to fund new purchases.

[Neverwhere]

Could I propose "mewcuffed" ?

The situation where one is unable to actually unwind a BTL portfolio because to do so will chrystalise captital gains tax bills that cannot be met from the equity proceeds of the disposals, as a result of having previously leveraged up against the "equity" to fund new purchases.

A prelude to being μewed:

The situation where one is unable to service the interest payments on an unwindable BTL portfolio and have thus MEWed oneself into a serious financial pratfall

[Bland Unsight]

Promotion beckons for BalancedBear.

If you are bored, don't respond to my posts then. The bank of England's predictions always turn out correct? Just look at their fan charts over the years - hugely accurate.

Pensioners extracting pension posts is just new source of funds. I think it will be more significant than what the bank thinks, although not as big as some property vested interests think.

I think there are two reasons for this. Firstly they could buy it jointly with adult children and they pay the deposit. They may lend their money to other family members. They may also have enough savings which when supplemented by extra pension funds will be enough without a mortgage.

The BOE are obviously being very simplistic if they think that just because pensioners may not qualify for many BTL mortgages, that many who want to, will not find a way to do so. Rich foreigners are also a huge problem, especially in London with regard to buying anything to store their wealth in.

Source

And h/t to Killer Bunny for spelling it out clearly and succinctly:

Er... is that a joke?

The fan charts are grossly inaccurate and always have ben. THAT IS WHY THEY ARE FAN CHARTS!

BTW, what's beeen the inflation target for, like, ever? 2%.

And...

Source

Can we please have a least one BTLer with any kind of game. It's like stamping on puppies.

Edited July 20, 2015 by bland unsight

[Bland Unsight]

The list at 20 July 2015

BTL BSers

BalancedBear

Milkshock

Mark Alexander

BTLers

buckers

Le Grande Fromage

wotnocrash

BSers Aspiring to BTL

Reality

Ex-BTLers who struggle with sub-text and have issues with people who have vaginas

sleepwello'nights

Self-appointed Witchfinder General's Fickle Finger of Suspicion

Damocles

[Bland Unsight]

Could I propose "mewcuffed" ?

The situation where one is unable to actually unwind a BTL portfolio because to do so will crystallise capital gains tax bills that cannot be met from the equity proceeds of the disposals, as a result of having previously leveraged up against the "equity" to fund new purchases.

I want to try to sell you on some alternatives, stealing your ideas...

The concept that you've labelled mewcuffed I want to be moar-rooned, (to be pronounced as close as possible to marooned)

I want to take the fact that mewcuffed is dangerously close to being an homonym to mucus, and thus have mew-cuss which is swearing provoked by a meeting with one's accountant to review to one's portfolio, (usually directed at the Chancellor of the Exchequer, usually occurring once the investor gets half way down a bottle of blended whisky).

SCENE - Spivvy house, early evening, Mrs Spiv is in the kitchen and can't hear Phil Collins on Magic FM properly because of the unbroken deluge of coarse invective from her husband.

MRS SPIV: Darling, what's the matter, why are you mew-cusssing?

MR SPIV: Because that single mother tenant Osbourne* has bloody moar-rooned me, the ******.

[Note that morouns always incorrectly include a u - even when talking...]

[Bland Unsight]

I think mouron makes more sense that morourn, but not sure...

[19 year mortgage 8itch]

I think mouron makes more sense that morourn, but not sure...

That was was my first thought when you suggested it.

They are mourning the death of their dirty little enterprise too.

Edited July 20, 2015 by 25 year mortgage 8itch

[Bland Unsight]

You've got to respect someone who goes lurker to the big league in a single post, so we welcome Phil321.

The post speaks for itself.

Thanks guys this has been useful.

As a modest opportunist landlord snapping up the odd house when sentiment was low - when I feel hard done by about this tax change I go on 118 and read notes from the moaning and groaning of the poor landlord victims who clearly did not have another plan. I DO shrug my shoulders and I am moving on.

Then when I feel perhaps my wealth and the risks and opportunistic nature may mean I have taken may have been unfair on others I come on here to redress the balance and listen to the moralistic preaching of some people and that sets me back on track.

Not one 'person' decision in my 15 years of property (not one) has been monetary. I have looked after tenants as I would family - seen many children growing up in the houses, marriages and divorces. Always ensured tenants knew they were safe in terms of tenure. But I ain't no saint and the properties made me a capital fortune and with low rates all tenants pay well below market rates (and why shouldn't they benefit was my payments are so low) and I get the value increases which are significantly.

I do ask my long standing tenants why they don't buy - and yes it is not because they can't be bothered, or they are lazy or indeed they like the flexibility - it is usually they don't have enough ££. I was lucky with strong support from parents - support in every sense rather than just financial. (Albeit financial help was very limited but every little helps to start with).

Not highly geared so not hugely affected - but slowly selling up anyway.

I think you provide a useful challenge and I take all views on board. Everyone should.

One lesson I have learned is that I have made my own luck - I have not been lucky, but one thing which is difficult in business (not land lording - I mean generally business) is everyone no matter how hard they plan and work can have some bad luck. I am so grateful I never have. Nowt to do with this....just something I am always very mindful of.

Don't expect houses to plummet any day soon - but this will certainly cool things down and will be an interesting problem for those with 20 properties and 20 mortgages....which I have to admit, I never really understood.

Remember guys - Karma works both ways - and some of the landlords will suffer anyway without you wishing it upon them.

Happy days.

Source

[Bland Unsight]

The list at 26 July 2015

BTL BSers

BalancedBear
Milkshock
Mark Alexander

Phil321


BTLers

buckers
Le Grande Fromage
wotnocrash

BSers Aspiring to BTL

Reality


Ex-BTLers who struggle with sub-text and have issues with people who have vaginas

sleepwello'nights


Self-appointed Witchfinder General's Fickle Finger of Suspicion

Damocles

[Bland Unsight]

OK, final version

• moar-rooned - to have a BTL investment where there is insufficient equity to pay the CGT charge that arises on disposal
• MEW-cuss point - the point at which the extent to which you've withdrawn equity by re-mortgaging (MEW), given the increase in house prices and the and the rate at which you pay CGT means you've moar-rooned yourself
• mouron - one who pursues a portfolio buy-to-let investment strategy to levels of leverage likely to pass the MEW-cuss point and moar-roon themselves

The revolution will not be televised. h/t you lot - you know who you are.

Edited July 27, 2015 by bland unsight