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DTMark

Eurovision 2015

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It's approaching that time again.

I invite you to marvel at the sheer wonder that is the UK's entry.

Doop mixed with Scatman John. It's really, really weird. How can it possibly fail..

To be fair, it's the best thing we've come up with in years.

And it's still absolutely crap.

I think we have a good chance of getting just slightly more than nil points.

Cup of tea anybody..

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Crikey, is it that time again already?

Time flies, like a sparrow

It pains my heart

like it's got 'n arrow

in it.

Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwouuuuuuuuuuuuwwwwwwwwahhhhhhhhrrrrrrrr

I'm just working on the second verse.

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Our best entry for years, but it's the kind of breezy pop fluff you'd expect from somewhere like Latvia. If it wins I'll eat my hat, but equally I've long given up trying to second guess what will appeal to the extended continent of Europe's popular taste. I thought "Satellite" was shockingly awful but it still won. So my sweepstake prediction is that that will come about 10th, people will vote for it if they don't have some reason to dislike the UK...which apparently plenty of Europeans do, it would come 5th otherwise.

One of my many aspirations that I'm going to have to either do something about or give up on now I'm 35 is to write a Eurovision winning song. 10 years ago I reckoned that punting off a dramatic disco house tune to a minor Balkan country, with a judicious key change, and a gorgeous woman singing it might be enough to swing it, but now I'm not so sure. As someone who adores Europop the final isn't quite as much fun as it used to be. But Greece can usually be relied upon to bring something hilarious, Iceland either bring a great song or gorgeous women (or occasionally both), and there's always a wild card from somewhere. If Romania put up Ovi and the incomparibly gorgeous Paula Selling again...

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It is the best in years. The problem is that it has no really chorus. It's just the same all the way through. I do think someone has thought a little more about this song - it's easy to catch on to what it is offering which is what you need - but not thought quite enough. It's My Time - Jade Ewen was good but not very pop (you could tell it was Lloyd-Webber without knowing).

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Sometimes you really can't tell with Eurovision. Most years the best song wins, like that Conchita one, but some years there's a rush of blood to the head and a weird one gets it. That Lordi pantomime heavy metal one was a good example.

It should get a few votes, and it might even win with a very good performance.

The last UK one I really liked was that Daz somebody "what did you learn in school today", very hummable and should have done much better. Plus anything with dancers dressed up as schoolgirls gets my vote, as long as admitting that doesn't get Yewtree calling.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuODRMitSCQ

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Sometimes you really can't tell with Eurovision. Most years the best song wins, like that Conchita one, but some years there's a rush of blood to the head and a weird one gets it. That Lordi pantomime heavy metal one was a good example.

It should get a few votes, and it might even win with a very good performance.

The last UK one I really liked was that Daz somebody "what did you learn in school today", very hummable and should have done much better. Plus anything with dancers dressed up as schoolgirls gets my vote, as long as admitting that doesn't get Yewtree calling.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RuODRMitSCQ

I have to disagree, I think Lordi would have done well without the Halloween masks. It is an extremely well arranged rock anthem with quite a strong melody and a great hook to the chorus. I'm sure had it been Meatloaf it would have been a global hit too.

Generally speaking the best entries do win.

The problem is we get exposed to the UK entry, so we think it is better than it is come the contest. This years is dire, just rejig a 1930s ditty, totally unoriginal.

The automatic qualification to the final will also not help UKs entries from now on, other songs will be more familiar to the voting public who have seen the semis.

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It reminds me of the closing scenes of the Marple episode "At Bertram's Hotel".

I keep expecting her or Poirot to show up at any moment.

I've heard it a few times now, and it is catchy. I don't think we'll come last or near-as, for once.

The date for your party planning is 23 May, the grand final kicks off at 9pm.

Let's enjoy the best one of 2013 one more time.. I still find myself humming this now and again.

You've got to admire a man who can make that noise.

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Armenia's entry for the 2015 Eurovision Song Contest was selected via an internal selection by the Armenian broadcaster AMPTV.[4][5] The song "Face The Shadow" performed by the group Genealogy was announced as the selected entry on 11 February 2015.[6]The selected group was created for the purpose of representing Armenia at the Eurovision Song Contest. In order to commemorate the 100th anniversary of the Armenian Genocide (but this is not an official statement),[7] the Armenian broadcaster extended invitations to five singers from the Armenian diaspora in Europe, Asia, Africa, America and Australia, to participate in the group

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Does it count as a song about controlling behaviour and hence domestic violence?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-life/11044069/Domestic-violence-Controlling-behavior-is-abuse-and-its-time-we-criminalised-it.html


Well, don’t get on the wrong train

Don’t fly in an old plane
Don’t go out in the pouring rain
You might get wet I’d be upset

You’re bound to get sneezes
Or nasty diseases
Take good care when I’m not there
I’m still in love with you

While I’m on vacation
You be a good patient
Take your medication
I worry so each time I go

Try to keep warm, dear
In case there’s a storm, dear
Take good care while I’m not there
I’m still in love with you

Some younger guys with roving eyes may tantalise you with their lies
You must be wise and realise, leave well alone till you get home, dear

Won’t see other fellas, don’t wanna make you jealous
No need to fear when you’re not here, I’m still in love with you

Instrumental

Let’s dance, dance
Dance

Don’t walk on the red light
Don’t stay out at midnight
Don’t get in a fist fight, that pretty face can’t be replaced…

Won’t be out at night, hon
It wouldn’t be right hon
No need to fear when you’re not here, I’m still in love with you

(Oh yes)

Instrumental

Everybody dance
Everybody dance

Everybody dance
Everybody dance

Skiddy-beep-bop-doo…
Dee-dee-dee

Sounding good, sugar

Skiddy-beep-bop-doo…
Dee-dee-dee

You take care now, honey

Don’t make a fuss, you need to trust me
This is how it always must be
When I stop to think of us, I can assure you, I adore you

Because you’re so gorgeous
You need to be cautious
Take good care when I’m not there, I’m still in love with you

You have a fun time,
And soak up that sunshine
But don’t drink too much wine,
Just one or two will have to do

I know what you’re thinking
So I won’t be drinking
No need to fear when you’re not here, I’m still in love with you

I’m still in love with you

I’m still in love with you

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Why do people bother with Eurovision.

Its more of a method of pushing an agenda (a cross dressing one, last year, it seems) and less a 'competition'...

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/news/eurovision-2014-voting-controversy-after-uk-jury-revealed-to-place-conchita-first--but-british-public-voted-for-donatan--cleo-9351644.html

Sad really, virtually all my favourite 70s, 80s musicians were gay, theres no lack of musical talent in the gay community...and no need to push talentless crap like 'conchita wurst' whose sole 'gift' seems to be sporting a beard and dress.

Maybe our entry this year could be Mike Reads 'UKIP calypso'...it has about the right level of musical sophistication for Eurovision and generally encapsulates the rotten EU system that Eurovision in turn iself encapsulates.

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Why do people bother with Eurovision.

Its more of a method of pushing an agenda (a cross dressing one, last year, it seems) and less a 'competition'...

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/news/eurovision-2014-voting-controversy-after-uk-jury-revealed-to-place-conchita-first--but-british-public-voted-for-donatan--cleo-9351644.html

Sad really, virtually all my favourite 70s, 80s musicians were gay, theres no lack of musical talent in the gay community...and no need to push talentless crap like 'conchita wurst' whose sole 'gift' seems to be sporting a beard and dress.

Maybe our entry this year could be Mike Reads 'UKIP calypso'...it has about the right level of musical sophistication for Eurovision and generally encapsulates the rotten EU system that Eurovision in turn iself encapsulates.

Eurovision is just a big musical 'car crash'. It's just.. ridiculous. That's the point of it. Though agreed on Conchita. Last year was frankly crap. Though, now I find it difficult to explain why it was crap with reference to the points I just made.

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That Iceland one is pretty decent. Should do well. Even has a key change at the end!

Radical! :blink: I'm a mediocre musician, but at least I am consistently mediocre at everything. That fourth chord sometimes propells you into space! ;)

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It's approaching that time again.

I invite you to marvel at the sheer wonder that is the UK's entry.

Doop mixed with Scatman John. It's really, really weird. How can it possibly fail..

To be fair, it's the best thing we've come up with in years.

And it's still absolutely crap.

I think we have a good chance of getting just slightly more than nil points.

Cup of tea anybody..

my lovely horse.

end of.

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My wife and her gay BFF (that's me) have reviewed the entries and they're all absolutely shit thus year.

Serbia, here I am? ******ing hell love we can see you from space in that dress. Germany cancel their new Zeppelin or something.

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