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davidg

Shit Your Parents Say

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Can't go wrong with bricks 'n' mortar

Rent is dead money

We're property developers

That Mr Brown is very clever isn't he

Oh I do like Mr Osborne's new haircut

You're such a disappointment

Your [insert name of relative] has done so much better than you

You always were a faddy eater

You always were a problem child

It's very dear

Eat your greens

It's too expensive to call you

Put hairs on your chest

Turn that light off, money doesn't grow on trees

No you can't have a key to the house, you might loose it

Nowt wrong with Brussels sprouts

When are you going to get a proper job?

When are you going to get a girlfriend?

When are you going to get married?

When are you going to have kids?

Your [insert name of friend's son] has a posh car

He's done very well for himself, hasn't he?

Did you know [insert name of friend you've never heard of] has died?

I've paid in all my life

and

You're not putting me in a home

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We tried to warn you, but you just wouldn't listen

Why can't you be more like [insert name of relative here]

We said it would end in tears

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We pay so much tax, it's an outrage (usually uttered at family reunions in front of all their children, none of which have anywhere near the same level of income).

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It's their revenge for your

Are we nearly there yet

Are we nearly there yet

Are we nearly there yet

Are we nearly there yet

Are we nearly there yet

Are we nearly there yet

Are we nearly there yet

Are we nearly there yet

Are we nearly there yet

Are we nearly there yet

Are we nearly there yet

Are we nearly there yet

Are we nearly there yet

Are we nearly there yet

Are we nearly there yet

Are we nearly there yet

Are we nearly there yet

Are we nearly there yet

Are we nearly there yet

Are we nearly there yet

Are we nearly there yet

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Guest eight

My mother tried to tell me the other day that two of sister's friend's husbands earn in excess of £300K/year doing "computers". Please bear in mind, everybody involved in this story lives in Darlington.

I actually quite liked programming as a kid but was only allowed to use it sparingly in case I got "square eyes".

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"We were thinking if we bought a house then you could rent it from us."

At full market rent. 50 miles from where my girlfriend and I were living at the time.

They were actually surprised when I declined this offer.

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"We were thinking if we bought a house then you could rent it from us."

At full market rent. 50 miles from where my girlfriend and I were living at the time.

They were actually surprised when I declined this offer.

My parents at least offered me a 10% discount because they'd save that on the agency fee. An offer which was also declined :)

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"If you spent less time on that Housepricecrash site, and more time watching Kirsty Alsopp you'd be a lot nicer person..."

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My mother tried to tell me the other day that two of sister's friend's husbands earn in excess of £300K/year doing "computers". Please bear in mind, everybody involved in this story lives in Darlington.

I actually quite liked programming as a kid but was only allowed to use it sparingly in case I got "square eyes".

I was something of a "child prodigy" and had learned how to program my Commodore 64 back in the day.

The role marked out for me was "Systems Analyst" (a somewhat dated term now).

The non-conformist in me made me pick retail management as a career.

In fairness, I would have been supported in whatever I did.

Though I now find myself as a self-employed IT developer and business analyst/consultant.

And, those earlier experiences, while probably "not me" - I can manage other people, though it not "intuitive" - taught me some things I might not otherwise have had the opportunity to learn.

Arthur Dent, in TH-HGTTG:

"I wish I'd listened to what my mother told me."

"Why, what did she tell you?"

"I don't know. I didn't listen."

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You would mad to buy a place at these prices.....what do you want to do, tie yourself down for the rest of your life.....go out and see the world, enjoy yourself live a bit, you only live once.

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300k a year 'in computers' ?

More than likely selling rather than actually being a tech. (£1000 day rates probably around but rather rare to say the least)

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Put hairs on your chest

Had to bloody well hide mine for the best part of two decades in the age of the Daniel Craig smooth look Policing. Hell may be things are changing............

http://www.bestdaily.co.uk/television/news/a636843/poldark-enjoy-a-half-naked-aidan-turner-as-ross-and-demelza-share-raunchy-scene-plus-elizabeth-gives-birth.html

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My mother tried to tell me the other day that two of sister's friend's husbands earn in excess of £300K/year doing "computers". Please bear in mind, everybody involved in this story lives in Darlington.

Ha ha, decimal point two places to the left.

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I love my mother but I've noticed she does something a bit annoying if we're watching a film on telly. She'll say something like:

Her: 'What did he just say?'

Me: 'Who, when?'

Her: 'Him, just now.'

Me: 'Which "him", when?'

By which time the plot has moved on and she's even more confused.

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"Can you call back later ? I'm just watching Escape to the Country"

And you wonder why boomers are so greedy the 30' square kitchen with worktop island and aga, plus at least five bedrooms for the two of them.

Brainwashed into wanting more by that bloody programme.

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Speaking as the parent,

'Dont you think it might be better to rent for a bit? Prices surely MUST come down soon.' (this was in 2011)

'No, Mum! We don't want to be paying some ripoff landlord's mortgage!'

Since then the houses that were going for £210-220-ish, although they got theirs for £205k, are now selling for £280K+.

I now confine myself to the likes of, 'I do wish you'd take it easy, put your feet up for a bit.' (daughter is heavily pregnant)

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My dad made me made me wear "proper shoes" in order to "make my feet develop properly". Now it turns out that society has the healthiest feet since the invention of the shoe, thanks to kids wearing trainers. Except me. At least he admitted he was wrong though.

Also, parents (and not even particularly old ones) are very weird about cold and rain, when children obviously have the appropriately developed nervous system to judge for themselves what clothing is appropriate.

You would mad to buy a place at these prices.....what do you want to do, tie yourself down for the rest of your life.....go out and see the world, enjoy yourself live a bit, you only live once.

Crazy old bint. Have you had her locked away?

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