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Does Anyone Know A Female Who Literally Never Farts?

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I look at some gorgeous women in the street and think "If you farted it would ruin the illusion". Does a non-farter exist?

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There have been numerous studies into flatuence and all have concluded that, whilst males pass wind in a much louder way, that women actually pass wind more frequently each day than men.

Women have the dubious honour of both back and front passing of wind. I believe that a front fart is known as a queef?

We also burp.

Despite my hedonism and openness I am have difficulties with this thread :huh:

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I thought it was bad enough they're mostly mental and now it turns out some of them have normal digestive systems too?

I think I'm going to live in a monastery.

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When my wife farts it smells like something crawled up inside her and died :huh:

High protein diet? Cats' and dogs' farts can strip wallpaper.

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When I was married, I never dared fart in front of my wife.

I always let her go first.

And now maybe like me, you realise that women can outdo a man in almost anything including or rather especially gross behaviour..................

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a low-carb diet practically eliminates farting

... not favoured by most women, unfortunately.

Clearly, you have never owned a dog. Although admittedly they often look surprised at the vile smell emanating from their rear end.

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And now maybe like me, you realise that women can outdo a man in almost anything including or rather especially gross behaviour..................

The grossest sexual fantasies / desires that I have heard have always come from women and not men - none of that Mills & Boom romantic stuff.

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I can't work out if this thread needs to be merged with the "Wind" thread, or "deluded old scrapper birds"?

Or 'Harperson's Pink Bus' thread?

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I had couscous for lunch yesterday, caused me to fart like a trooper all night. Mrs Miyagi was convinced it was the dog until I proudly pointed out it was in fact me.

Back on topic Mrs Miyagi hardly ever farts but when she does they are absolutely rank.

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  • 409 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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