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Inconsequential Things That Annoy Me Intensely

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6 hours ago, up2late said:

Off topic for this thread, but you've reminded me of one of the best days of my life.

The loo roll holder at work had malfunctioned and was feeding paper from two rolls simultaneously. Everything was 4-ply. I felt like a king!

Either you're easily pleased or there's one for Dragon's Den!

 

Anyhow, here's a topical ones:

10456986.jpg

Er, no. Having something on sale at a 40% discount, is not the same as saving 40%.

If you put 40% of your wages into long term savings and investments, yes that would justify a label such as that shown above. However, we all know that people who respond to labels such as this are actually SPENDING, not saving.

I pointed out this etymological b@rstardisation to a younger (and considerably poorer) Martin Lewis, when he was trying to stir up interest in his then-embryonic website. I told him, if anything, he was actually a money-spending expert. I told him to qualify for the title "money saving expert" he needed to be showing people how NOT to spend and where to put the savings. His reply was something along the lines of "who would be interested in that?"

It's that kind of frank acceptance of public fecklessness that separates multi-millionaires like him from the rest of us.

Edited by Sledgehead

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TV sizes. I've currently got a 37" TV. I quite like the screen size and it occurred to me that a newer TV would have the same screen size but be overall quite a bit smaller (mine has quite a wide bezel around the screen). So I could get the same screen but have the thing take up less space. But nope, no-one seems to make that size any more. I could get a bigger screen in the same footprint but that's fairly pointless.

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On 23/11/2018 at 11:43, Sledgehead said:

Loo roll that doesn't tear along the perforations, but more infuriating still, ...

People who merrily use a loo roll when the two-ply has delaminated.

They just keep tearing sheets from two separate layers of the roll. Naturally the perforations from the two layers do not align, so you are left with sheets that are both two and single-ply.

What kind of moron happily keeps stripping pseudo-sheets from this arragement?

Don't forget those who turn the roll so the paper falls against the wall and not the consumer... 

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Not that I'm having a go at Mr B or anything, but people who don't effing well listen when you say, If you're going to the post office can you please get me two dozen 2nd class Christmas stamps (for the cards they know I've  purposely written nice and early, to post nice and early) - and they come back with 1st class stamps, 'Because I thought they'd be quicker.' 

Also people who come back from the shops with mince pies when they're supposed to be banned* in this house until 1st December, when I will make the first batch of 24, which will last approx 2 days.  I have made Delia's reputedly super-fantastic mincemeat this year, so they ought to be worth waiting for. 

*on grounds of limiting sheer piggery of course 

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2 hours ago, Orsino said:

On a similar theme, it's that time of year when I get annoyed at footballers who play wearing gloves.

Especially those showoffs who just have to wear a different shirt than the rest of their team :)

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On 20/11/2018 at 15:52, Sledgehead said:

Just tell them it's a well known fact that Greelanders, like Father Christmas, are all lactose and gluten intolerant, and that unless they want their chimneys to be pebble-dashed with diarrhea, they should cut it out and revert to mince pies and brandy.

Father Christmas is from Finland, not Greenland.

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Kitchen gadgets fanboys. Instant Pot fanboys cook everything imaginable in the Instant Pot. Likewise air fryer fanboys, slow cooker fanboys. Aga fanboys etc etc. If you ask them why they cut up a large lamb leg into 3 pieces just to fit into their gadget of choice they become ultra defensive bordering on Nazi. It's a bit like Android Vs Apple.

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Use of the term "veggies", especially in sentences like "lots of lovely veggies".

Patronizing + toe-curling in extremis.

And then there is the word "yummy".

You can use that word with the other one, but I can't bring myself to do so. And yet the backs of food products purporting to be 'healthy' are smothered in this condescending drivel. Do you really think you are getting me 'on-side'? Do I look five years old? Is this how the restof the public wish to be talked to? Is that the result of all your attempts to track us across the internet and understand us, your customers, better????

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Brands / companies that end in "ly".

There were, it seems, 161 of these five years ago. I imagine this number has only grown.

If you haven't noticed, grit your teeth now:

lead_720_405.png?mod=1533691557

 

Doubtless many a bum-fluff follicle was strained coming up with these 'original' names. Doesn't make them any less annoying or nonsensical.

I mean, Grammarly FFS. That's not even grammatically correct. Were you really aiming for irony? Maybe you should have started-up Ironily?

Same goes for "ify".

Probably only a matter of time before some 'genius' starts up a new branding consultancy called "Ify-ily". Basically you bring them your product range - say craft pies (everything is a craft product no matter how sh!t, as long as you make it in batches small enough to eliminate all economies of scale) - and they charge you £250k for coming up with the name pieify or pieily. Having subconsciously compared gross profit margins and ceremoniously stroked beards, both parties recognise they are of like minds and seal the deal with an over-priced coffee.

 

Edited by Sledgehead

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On 01/01/2019 at 19:34, Sledgehead said:

Do I look five years old? Is this how the rest of the public wish to be talked to?

My main one is the use of the word 'poo' - I would expect it from an infant, but it now seems to occur all the time on adult TV, even on serious medical documentaries and health programmes.

I would prefer my doctor with 10 years training and presumably high intelligence to use appropriate terms and language. I will ask for an explanation if necessary.

Edit: Yes, I've just checked an online dictionary and it is there, although I haven't got a subscription to OED.

 

 

Edited by frankief
Dictionary

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13 hours ago, frankief said:

My main one is the use of the word 'poo' - I would expect it from an infant, but it now seems to occur all the time on adult TV, even on serious medical documentaries and health programmes.

I would prefer my doctor with 10 years training and presumably high intelligence to use appropriate terms and language. I will ask for an explanation if necessary.

Edit: Yes, I've just checked an online dictionary and it is there, although I haven't got a subscription to OED.

It should be in a dictionary, a decent dictionary will have all the common informal words.

The problem is probably that most people wouldn't have a clue what was being talked about since the only alternatives they're likely to understand are sh1t and crap.

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When address web forms native to your zone (.co.uk) require you to choose your country via drop down box and DON'T HAVE UK LISTED AT THE TOP.

And then...

They don't list it as UK, they stick it under Great Britain or Britain or (this is when the swearing really kicks in) ENGLAND but you've already scrolled down to the bottom for UK and now you have to scroll all the way through all the other countries that the company whose website it is DON'T OPERATE IN.

*table flip*

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On 03/01/2019 at 20:22, frankief said:

My main one is the use of the word 'poo' - I would expect it from an infant, but it now seems to occur all the time on adult TV, even on serious medical documentaries and health programmes.

 

 

And pee, and tummy ....

Curiously references to genitals still seem to require proper anatomical terms.

Then again, it's been over a year since I've seen my ol' saw-bones.

Slang has a way of becoming normalised. Maybe the first time-travelling female will be taken-aback when a future robo-GP asks to examine her c**t?

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On 01/01/2019 at 19:34, Sledgehead said:

Use of the term "veggies", especially in sentences like "lots of lovely veggies".

Patronizing + toe-curling in extremis.

And then there is the word "yummy".

You can use that word with the other one, but I can't bring myself to do so. And yet the backs of food products purporting to be 'healthy' are smothered in this condescending drivel. Do you really think you are getting me 'on-side'? Do I look five years old? Is this how the restof the public wish to be talked to? Is that the result of all your attempts to track us across the internet and understand us, your customers, better????

Another one I find particularly annoying is where weather reports refer to the "feels like" temperature rather than the heat index or wind chill factor.

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14 hours ago, FedupTeddiBear said:

Another one I find particularly annoying is where weather reports refer to the "feels like" temperature rather than the heat index or wind chill factor.

Talking of heat, what about those ads on the shopping channels that sell electric heaters that are "100% efficient". 😄

Wot? Sold out of "100% fat frees, zero calorie" bottled waterr have we?

Can't say which part of this I find most annoying: the peeps who fall for the marketing, the manufacturers who make the stuff, the marketers who write the briefs, the copywriters who string the words together, the lawyers who rubber stamp the form of words, the presenters who read it out, the channels who broadcast it or the regulators who let them get away with it. All I know is a whole lot of people are being paid a whole lot of money for a whole lot of rubbish that will ultimately be found wanting and end up littering the place up.

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People calling things 'awesome' or 'amazing', referring to a nice meal or a 5km run or something. Really, no. Awesomeness only really begins when you complete your first marathon, scale the Matterhorn, make a million etc.

Edited by Si1

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