Jump to content
House Price Crash Forum

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

ScrewsNutsandBolts

Happy Christmas From The Blairs

Recommended Posts

Cherie: "Tony, I can't feel your heartbeat!"

Tony: "Yeah, but never mind that, just feel my wallet!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I always thought the David Icke with his lizard theories was a nut, but after seeing this maybe he has something....

I have a similar attitude to exorcisms.

Tony clearly thinks he's pretty hard, but strip him of his supernatural powers and I reckon I could take him.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wonder if he sent one to Gordon?

Here's the daily mash's imagining of what they might be saying to each other.

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/politics-headlines/the-blair-brown-christmas-letters-2014120293396

Blair`s card to Brown

My dear Gordon,

Best wishes to you as we celebrate the Blessed Virgin giving birth to our Lord Indivisible.

I was so pleased to hear youre stepping down as an MP. If you remember, 20 years ago I suggested you resign at the 1997 election. I always said youd be much happier selling meat pies at Raith Rovers and writing strange, angry letters to your local newspaper.

But, in testament to your character, you wouldnt leave and we then worked in the same part of London for a while. After my 10 years as prime minister you took the job and did it for almost 2 years and 11 months. At the time I made a point of telling everyone that you were doing the best you possibly could.

Enjoy your retirement in Kirkcaldy. So much cosier than a mansion in Buckinghamshire. And if the meat pie thing doesnt pan out then do write to my secretary Janine who will determine whether you are eligible for a low interest loan.

Yours in Christ,

T

Brown's card to Blair

Dear Tony

Wishes to you as we mark the birth of the man who taught us life is a constant struggle.

Thank you for the card. Your face looks weird. I do hope youre not seriously ill.

I too remember our dinner 20 years ago when I suggested you step down in 1997 and join the team that changes Rupert Murdochs giant nappy four times a day. As you said, it was good money.

But, in testament to your character, you did what was best for you. I enjoyed running the government for almost 13 years. Everyone agrees I was historic.

Since then I have been the UN global ambassador for education and saved the United Kingdom, while the Middle East somehow got even worse.

Enjoy your bank account and when you die I hope to be the first to comment when your gravestone is showered with hot piss.

Gordon Brown

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Heaven help us. I wonder whether they enclose one of those ghastly round robins, telling everyone how wonderfully they are doing, and how supremely talented and successful all their children are.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Despite his 'success' and millions; Tony always has a slightly haunted PTSD-esque vibe about him...

They would be more appropriate on halloween cards

cherie mugshot and broomstick are such a good fit.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just the one ?

I thought he preferred double-digit yields.

That's on the banned list I'm afraid so no chance of that for poor Tone now :(

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Despite his 'success' and millions; Tony always has a slightly haunted PTSD-esque vibe about him...

I would have substituted the word "haunted" for "posessed",

much better analogy.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was thinking it had something of the "gottle of geer" about it.k

Which one has the manipulating ventriliquists hand? Could be Cherie? I am the rebirth of Sootie, and I know these things! Still, Sootie said nothing, ever.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Which one has the manipulating ventriliquists hand? Could be Cherie? I am the rebirth of Sootie, and I know these things! Still, Sootie said nothing, ever.

Better to say nothing and be thought a puppet, than open your mouth and be thought a muppet.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • The Prime Minister stated that there were three Brexit options available to the UK:   218 members have voted

    1. 1. Which of the Prime Minister's options would you choose?


      • Leave with the negotiated deal
      • Remain
      • Leave with no deal

    Please sign in or register to vote in this poll. View topic


×

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.