Wives Withholding Sex From Their Husbands.

[LiveinHope]

No but the problem is none of us know how we're going to feel about or towards someone down the line. I actually think monogamy is flawed

It is flawed, but it enables every bloke (pretty much) to have a woman and so brings peace and tranquility.

..........and a load of frustration

[Economic Exile]

Only insofar as we are slaves to our genes.

Some of us have moved beyond that.

I don't know if you're male or female porca but I'm a 56 year old female and I believe that I've moved beyond being a slave to my genes and societal expectations.

I'm a mother of a 20 and 21 year old....thankfully they're both fairly independent now!

For some time now I haven't felt the "need" to seek out sex and don't feel deprived because I'm not "getting it" regularly.

Overall I feel that sex is over rated and too much societal emphasis is placed on it, just my personal opinion and of course I'm older. And I have been single for the past 16 years. In the earlier years of this singledom I did seek sex and dabble sometimes but gradually I moved away from it.

The reality is that in a week very little time is spent on sex for most people. There are more urgent chores to be seen to and lots of interesting things to do with spare time.

From my chats with females over the years I would say that most females don't place a high emphasis on sex and find it more boring the longer they're with someone. Although I know some who love it and can't get enough even with a long term partner I've found them to be in the minority.

[MrPin]

Sometimes you have to be alone to get to know and love yourself.

If you don't like you, nobody else will (probably)!

[sPinwheel]

If you don't like you, nobody else will (probably)!

I practice self hate.

[LiveinHope]

I don't know if you're male or female porca but I'm a 56 year old female and I believe that I've moved beyond being a slave to my genes and societal expectations.

I'm a mother of a 20 and 21 year old....thankfully they're both fairly independent now!

For some time now I haven't felt the "need" to seek out sex and don't feel deprived because I'm not "getting it" regularly.

Overall I feel that sex is over rated and too much societal emphasis is placed on it, just my personal opinion and of course I'm older. And I have been single for the past 16 years. In the earlier years of this singledom I did seek sex and dabble sometimes but gradually I moved away from it.

The reality is that in a week very little time is spent on sex for most people. There are more urgent chores to be seen to and lots of interesting things to do with spare time.

From my chats with females over the years I would say that most females don't place a high emphasis on sex and find it more boring the longer they're with someone. Although I know some who love it and can't get enough even with a long term partner I've found them to be in the minority.

You have moved beyond being a slave to your genes because of your age.

Few species engage in recreational sex. It's reproduction that species are interested in, so no special reason for women to have a basic interest in 'the joy of sex', other than cementing a bond in a monogamous society.

[Gigantic Purple Slug]

No but the problem is none of us know how we're going to feel about or towards someone down the line. I actually think monogamy is flawed

Feelings don't really come into it.

It's about two simple statements to me which are :

It is reasonable for you to expect your partner to fulfill your reasonable needs and requirements if you are not fulfilling theirs ?

and the second which is :

Relationships between two parties continue because they are mutually beneficial. Once one party in the relationship no longer gets enough benefit from the relationship, the relationship is doomed.

[Economic Exile]

You have moved beyond being a slave to your genes because of your age.

Few species engage in recreational sex. It's reproduction that species are interested in, so no special reason for women to have a basic interest in 'the joy of sex', other than cementing a bond in a monogamous society.

Yes, I agree! Because I'm female and older.

However, my observation is that males are generally very different in that they don't lose the drive for sex regardless of their age unless perhaps they experience physical problems. Unfortunately this can cause distress though.

I know several blokes in their 70's who are now without a partner and always seeking sex. Some have more success than others! A couple of them had a lot of affairs/one night stands while in their long term relationships because sex wasn't available at home.

Monogamy is indeed a difficult ideal to embrace for both men and women.

[LiveinHope]

Yes, I agree! Because I'm female and older.

However, my observation is that males are generally very different in that they don't lose the drive for sex regardless of their age unless perhaps they experience physical problems. Unfortunately this can cause distress though.

I know several blokes in their 70's who are now without a partner and always seeking sex. Some have more success than others! A couple of them had a lot of affairs/one night stands while in their long term relationships because sex wasn't available at home.

Monogamy is indeed a difficult ideal to embrace for both men and women.

I think we probably agree on this too

"it's because they can still pass on their genes",

We're just a vehicle and only 'free' when we're no use - by rights we'd be dead by then.

You women are lucky gaining your freedom

[Economic Exile]

I think we probably agree on this too

"it's because they can still pass on their genes",

We're just a vehicle and only 'free' when we're no use.

You women are lucky

Yes I do feel lucky that I'm no longer driven to need or seek sex. However, I can empathise with men's lot in life when they get older and find it difficult to satisfy their sexual needs with a willing and attractive partner.

I never met anyone when I was in my 40's and still interested as I found that men in my age group wanted younger women. I did try a toyboy once but his general immaturity put me off toyboy's for life.

Sometimes life just sucks for both genders

[The Masked Tulip]

[FallingAwake]

It's usual to find out whether a lady "likes sex a lot" before you get married.

I agree. I always make her fill out a survey.

[Turned Out Nice Again]

Thank god for hobbies! eh?

[OnionTerror]

Thank god for hobbies! eh?

a shed that you can mutter in?

[MrPin]

Yes I do feel lucky that I'm no longer driven to need or seek sex. However, I can empathise with men's lot in life when they get older and find it difficult to satisfy their sexual needs with a willing and attractive partner.

I never met anyone when I was in my 40's and still interested as I found that men in my age group wanted younger women. I did try a toyboy once but his general immaturity put me off toyboy's for life.

Sometimes life just sucks for both genders

You can rub me a bit! I'm more like a "toy grandfather" I will even smoke a pipe for you! And listen to Radio 4! In a beige cardigan!

[SarahBell]

Thank god for hobbies! eh?

Before marriage peoe maybe had dating each other as a hobby.

Get out of the habit of treating each other nice and it's easy to see how it ends badly.

Date nights. Booked in and planned in advance.

[Frank Hovis]

Before marriage peoe maybe had dating each other as a hobby.

Get out of the habit of treating each other nice and it's easy to see how it ends badly.

Date nights. Booked in and planned in advance.

Wetherspoons' curry nights!

[Turned Out Nice Again]

dupe (deleted)

[Turned Out Nice Again]

the blogger I linked to in the OP has another article on this subject where he makes a good argument that women just get bored with schtupping their monogamous partner after 3+ years; no malice, just boredom, whereas men do not get similarly bored.

And when it happens, the women almost all rationalize it as the guy's fault.

http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2013/09/29/women-get-bored-with-their-monogamous-men-even-more-scientific-proof/

" Dietrich Klusmann, a psychologist at the University of Hamburg-Eppendorf in Germany, has provided a glimpse into the bedrooms of longtime couples. His surveys, involving a total of almost 2,500 subjects, comprise one of the few systematic comparisons of female and male desire at progressive stages of committed relationships. He shows women and men in new relationships reporting, on average, more or less equal lust for each other. But for women who’ve been with their partners between one and four years, a dive begins — and continues, leaving male desire far higher.

Women get bored, men do not. Women get bored at between “one and four years”. What have I been saying about the magical three-year mark?

As if that wasn’t enough validation of what I’ve been saying:

Within this plunge, there is a notable pattern: over time, women who don’t live with their partners retain their desire much more than women who do.

Dingding again! What have I been saying forever? Moving in with a woman increases the speed at which she will become bored with you. This is a corollary to another concept I’ve explained for years:The more often you see a woman, the faster she will become sexually bored with you. "

... If true, I'm not sure what the answer is.

[Frank Hovis]

the blogger I linked to in the OP has another article on this subject where he makes a good argument that women just get bored with schtupping their monogamous partner after 3+ years; no malice, just boredom, whereas men do not get similarly bored.

And when it happens, the women almost all rationalize it as the guy's fault.

http://www.blackdragonblog.com/2013/09/29/women-get-bored-with-their-monogamous-men-even-more-scientific-proof/

" Dietrich Klusmann, a psychologist at the University of Hamburg-Eppendorf in Germany, has provided a glimpse into the bedrooms of longtime couples. His surveys, involving a total of almost 2,500 subjects, comprise one of the few systematic comparisons of female and male desire at progressive stages of committed relationships. He shows women and men in new relationships reporting, on average, more or less equal lust for each other. But for women who’ve been with their partners between one and four years, a dive begins — and continues, leaving male desire far higher.

Women get bored, men do not. Women get bored at between “one and four years”. What have I been saying about the magical three-year mark?

As if that wasn’t enough validation of what I’ve been saying:

Within this plunge, there is a notable pattern: over time, women who don’t live with their partners retain their desire much more than women who do.

Dingding again! What have I been saying forever? Moving in with a woman increases the speed at which she will become bored with you. This is a corollary to another concept I’ve explained for years:The more often you see a woman, the faster she will become sexually bored with you. "

And vice versa. Separate houses is the way to go; everybody likes their space. If you are seeing somebody every morning as soon as you wake then where's the anticipation in seeing them? You get bored and take each other for granted rather than their being the person you look forward to seeing.

[OnionTerror]

And vice versa. Separate houses is the way to go; everybody likes their space. If you are seeing somebody every morning as soon as you wake then where's the anticipation in seeing them? You get bored and take each other for granted rather than their being the person you look forward to seeing.

Could most people afford to do that nowadays? Would you want to do that if there was a child involved?

[StainlessSteelCat]

I don't know if you're male or female porca but I'm a 56 year old female and I believe that I've moved beyond being a slave to my genes and societal expectations.

I'm a mother of a 20 and 21 year old....thankfully they're both fairly independent now!

For some time now I haven't felt the "need" to seek out sex and don't feel deprived because I'm not "getting it" regularly.

Overall I feel that sex is over rated and too much societal emphasis is placed on it, just my personal opinion and of course I'm older. And I have been single for the past 16 years. In the earlier years of this singledom I did seek sex and dabble sometimes but gradually I moved away from it.

The reality is that in a week very little time is spent on sex for most people. There are more urgent chores to be seen to and lots of interesting things to do with spare time.

From my chats with females over the years I would say that most females don't place a high emphasis on sex and find it more boring the longer they're with someone. Although I know some who love it and can't get enough even with a long term partner I've found them to be in the minority.

Yep, I'm baffled by the obsession we collectively have with sex. Obviously, it's crucial to the survival of the species, and nice in the context of a bonding with another. But it's not that important. I enjoy it, but I don't seem to have the gnawing need that most blokes (and some ladies) appear to have for it. I certainly don't feel resentful or deprived if the missus isn't keen for whatever reason. The loving companionship we have is much more valuable.

[The Generation Game]

Yes I do feel lucky that I'm no longer driven to need or seek sex. However, I can empathise with men's lot in life when they get older and find it difficult to satisfy their sexual needs with a willing and attractive partner.

I never met anyone when I was in my 40's and still interested as I found that men in my age group wanted younger women. I did try a toyboy once but his general immaturity put me off toyboy's for life.

Sometimes life just sucks for both genders

Now I'm just confused?!?

[The Generation Game]

I agree. I always make her fill out a survey.

Don't forget the consent form signed in triplicate, together with the video of her signing it.

[whitevanman]

Yep, I'm baffled by the obsession we collectively have with sex. Obviously, it's crucial to the survival of the species, and nice in the context of a bonding with another. But it's not that important. I enjoy it, but I don't seem to have the gnawing need that most blokes (and some ladies) appear to have for it. I certainly don't feel resentful or deprived if the missus isn't keen for whatever reason. The loving companionship we have is much more valuable.

There's no point being with a woman unless you get sex when you want it. The payoff for being a husband is sex. If you're not getting it you owe it to yourself to seek it elsewhere. Don't let 'em convince you otherwise.

[StainlessSteelCat]

There's no point being with a woman unless you get sex when you want it. The payoff for being a husband is sex. If you're not getting it you owe it to yourself to seek it elsewhere. Don't let 'em convince you otherwise.

Really, that's it? I guess you subscribe to the Felix Dennis school of thought. If it flies, floats or fornicates - rent it.