Jump to content
House Price Crash Forum

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Bossybabe

Favourite Nonsense Rhyme

Recommended Posts

One fine day in the middle of the night

Two dead men got up to fight.

Back to back, they faced each other,

Drew their swords and shot each other. Anon

:D

:o

The boy stood on the railway track.

The engine gave a squeal.

The driver took an oily rag

And wiped him off the wheel. Andrew Shaw

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There was an old lady from Stoke

in the bath was having a soak

along came a frog

wee'd in her bog

she choked to death on the soap

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Fuzzy-Wuzzy was a bear,

Fuzzy-Wuzzy had no hair,

Fuzzy-Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy, was he?

I remember this from my childhood as

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear

A bear was Fuzzy Wuzzy

When Fuzzy Wuzzy lost his hair

He wasn't fuzzy, was he?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Both my grandfathers were full of nonsense rhymes. Here's just two that spring to mind:

The other night, upon the stair,

I met a man who wasn't there.

He wasn't there again today;

I wish that man would go away!

............

As I walked down my ummly-gummly ummly-gummly gheena,

There I saw Sir Ackamajack, eating my allacka-feena.

Oh! If I had my itsy-itsy-itsy-itsy-eena,

Wouldn't I give it Sir Ackamajack for eating my allacka-feena!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Also a big fan of the ning nang noo. My son used to love it as a baby. Got a book of silly Spike Milligan rhymes for him as a first birthday present (OK, for me really).

The one I always remember off the top of my head is:

There are holes in the sky where the rain gets in,

but they're very very small,

that's why the rain's so thin.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Pointy birds

Pointy pointy

Anoint my head

Anointy-nointy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Seeing as fuzzy wuzzy has been taken,

I was walking through a field of wheat when I picked up something good to eat

It was neither fish, flesh, foul, nor bone

But I kept it till it ran alone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

To the tune of “When Johnny comes marching home again....”

Die Dinge dass ich für England tue, Urrah, Urrah!
Die Dinge dass ich für England tue, Urrah, Urrah!
Die Dinge dass ich für England tue, Urrah, Urrah!
Und alle Tiere, die gehen ins Boot hinein.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The common cormorant or shag

Lays eggs inside a paper bag.

The reason you will see, no doubt,

It is to keep the lightning out.

But what these unobservant birds

Have never noticed is that herds

Of wandering bears may come with buns

And steal the bags to hold the crumbs.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Spike.

Spoke.

"Spook...!"

Not really a nonsense rhyme - just an excuse to post this video of slitherin' Roy Jay again...

You all be saying it in the morning...!

XYY

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Both my grandfathers were full of nonsense rhymes. Here's just two that spring to mind:

The other night, upon the stair,

I met a man who wasn't there.

He wasn't there again today;

I wish that man would go away!

Must be well-known, it was one of my Grandfather's rhymes too.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

They said the thing just couldn't be done

And so I set right to it

I tackled the thing that couldn't be done...

And found I couldn't do it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If we're talking grand dad's, we need to address the important issue of how many beans make 5.

as I remember, it's....

2 beans, a bean and a half, half a bean, and a bean.

though I have heard other grandads preferred a different order of bean assignation with the same resulting total, which I suppose is the important point we all learned.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Must be well-known, it was one of my Grandfather's rhymes too.

I clicked this thread with a view to posting a version of that :wacko:

Dammit, last poetry thread I resorted to latin, so why not some nonsensical pseudo-latin this time:

Caesar adsum iamforte,

Brutus ad erat,

Caesar sic in omnibus,

Brutus sic inat.

[ I once set that to music in a full-blown but very silly fugue ].

Hmmm ... howbout this (from memory, it was floating around college in my student days) ... Aussie Antique Shop, by Percy Bruce Shirley:

I met a customer from an antique shop

who said "Two glass showcases full of stone

stand in the corner. Near them, on his knees

half drunk, the shattered owner lies, whose frown,

And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold contempt,

Tells that the gin that made his senses dead

he yet imbibed, and stomped amongst those worthless things.

The eye that picked them, and the purse that bought.

And on the counterstand these words appear:

'My name is Arthur Macintosh, OBE:

Look upon my works, ye Wealthy, and cough up!'

Nothing beside remains. Round the decay

Of that colossal wreck, witless and stoned,

The broken levelled stands, all dusty lay."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • The Prime Minister stated that there were three Brexit options available to the UK:   206 members have voted

    1. 1. Which of the Prime Minister's options would you choose?


      • Leave with the negotiated deal
      • Remain
      • Leave with no deal

    Please sign in or register to vote in this poll. View topic


×

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.