Bossybabe Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 One fine day in the middle of the night Two dead men got up to fight. Back to back, they faced each other, Drew their swords and shot each other. Anon The boy stood on the railway track. The engine gave a squeal. The driver took an oily rag And wiped him off the wheel. Andrew Shaw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sPinwheel Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 Fuzzy-Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy-Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy-Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy, was he? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frozen_out Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 There was a young lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling so she laid on her back and opened her crack then peed all over the ceiling Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ames Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 There was an old lady from Stoke in the bath was having a soak along came a frog wee'd in her bog she choked to death on the soap Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bossybabe Posted August 6, 2014 Author Share Posted August 6, 2014 Bessie met the bus. The bus met Bessie. The bus was all messy. The mess was Bessie. Andrew Shaw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nuggets Mahoney Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 I eat my peas with honey I've done it all my life It makes the peas taste funny But it keeps them on the knife Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark Uttley Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 Fuzzy-Wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy-Wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy-Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy, was he? I remember this from my childhood as Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear A bear was Fuzzy Wuzzy When Fuzzy Wuzzy lost his hair He wasn't fuzzy, was he? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noddage Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 Both my grandfathers were full of nonsense rhymes. Here's just two that spring to mind: The other night, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today; I wish that man would go away! ............ As I walked down my ummly-gummly ummly-gummly gheena, There I saw Sir Ackamajack, eating my allacka-feena. Oh! If I had my itsy-itsy-itsy-itsy-eena, Wouldn't I give it Sir Ackamajack for eating my allacka-feena! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
frozen_out Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 Also a big fan of the ning nang noo. My son used to love it as a baby. Got a book of silly Spike Milligan rhymes for him as a first birthday present (OK, for me really). The one I always remember off the top of my head is: There are holes in the sky where the rain gets in, but they're very very small, that's why the rain's so thin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 Pointy birds Pointy pointy Anoint my head Anointy-nointy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiveinHope Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 Seeing as fuzzy wuzzy has been taken, I was walking through a field of wheat when I picked up something good to eat It was neither fish, flesh, foul, nor bone But I kept it till it ran alone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chronyx Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense Microwave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiremola Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 Grey goose and gander, Waft your wings together, And carry the good king's daughter Over the one strand river. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiremola Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 To the tune of “When Johnny comes marching home again....” Die Dinge dass ich für England tue, Urrah, Urrah! Die Dinge dass ich für England tue, Urrah, Urrah! Die Dinge dass ich für England tue, Urrah, Urrah! Und alle Tiere, die gehen ins Boot hinein. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bossybabe Posted August 6, 2014 Author Share Posted August 6, 2014 The boy stood on the burning deck And ate a piece if cake Which did belong to someone elsfor whom it's now too late. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bossybabe Posted August 6, 2014 Author Share Posted August 6, 2014 The common cormorant or shag Lays eggs inside a paper bag. The reason you will see, no doubt, It is to keep the lightning out. But what these unobservant birds Have never noticed is that herds Of wandering bears may come with buns And steal the bags to hold the crumbs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The XYY Man Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 Spike. Spoke. "Spook...!" Not really a nonsense rhyme - just an excuse to post this video of slitherin' Roy Jay again... You all be saying it in the morning...! XYY Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpectrumFX Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 The Ballad of Eskimo Nell. I won't post it directly here as it's very obscene is likely to offend some, but there's a link below. The link is most definitely not safe for work. http://low.net.au/eskimo_nell.html?linkname=warning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
erat_forte Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 Algy met a bear The bear met algy The bear was bulgy The bulge was Algy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happy_renting Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 Both my grandfathers were full of nonsense rhymes. Here's just two that spring to mind: The other night, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today; I wish that man would go away! Must be well-known, it was one of my Grandfather's rhymes too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happy_renting Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 There is a poet from Japan, Who's poems will never quite scan. The writing is fine, until the last line, and then he tries to cram in as many words as he possibly can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbn Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 They said the thing just couldn't be done And so I set right to it I tackled the thing that couldn't be done... And found I couldn't do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbn Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 Roses are red Bacon is too Poetry is hard Bacon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sbn Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 If we're talking grand dad's, we need to address the important issue of how many beans make 5. as I remember, it's.... 2 beans, a bean and a half, half a bean, and a bean. though I have heard other grandads preferred a different order of bean assignation with the same resulting total, which I suppose is the important point we all learned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
porca misèria Posted August 6, 2014 Share Posted August 6, 2014 Must be well-known, it was one of my Grandfather's rhymes too. I clicked this thread with a view to posting a version of that Dammit, last poetry thread I resorted to latin, so why not some nonsensical pseudo-latin this time: Caesar adsum iamforte, Brutus ad erat, Caesar sic in omnibus, Brutus sic inat. [ I once set that to music in a full-blown but very silly fugue ]. Hmmm ... howbout this (from memory, it was floating around college in my student days) ... Aussie Antique Shop, by Percy Bruce Shirley: I met a customer from an antique shop who said "Two glass showcases full of stone stand in the corner. Near them, on his knees half drunk, the shattered owner lies, whose frown, And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold contempt, Tells that the gin that made his senses dead he yet imbibed, and stomped amongst those worthless things. The eye that picked them, and the purse that bought. And on the counterstand these words appear: 'My name is Arthur Macintosh, OBE: Look upon my works, ye Wealthy, and cough up!' Nothing beside remains. Round the decay Of that colossal wreck, witless and stoned, The broken levelled stands, all dusty lay." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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