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Gavin

Know Your Enemy

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The old adage about knowing your enemies better than your friends is a petinent one here.

I have been getting more and more amazed at the bull press and I will try and explain why.

Please stick with me because this is a detailed rant and might go on a little.

Case 1

I saw an advert for a development with the headline “Capital Appreciation”. Its obviously a clever double meaning that not only do you, the punter, enjoy living in London, but that you will make money make no mistake about that. Indeed, forget about low rental returns because you will make capital appreciation anyway, you’re not a landlord you are a canny investor. The advert was adapted for Christmas to include 3 pictures saying: Presents in the bedroom (with shot of ruffled but perfect bed), Turkey in the kitchen (surperb sizable kitchen with granite worktops) and Star Wars on the plazma (picture of cutting edge living room).

Now I have no problem with any sales tactics but just to point out that if we were left in any doubt, we are being sold a lifestyle, not a home of any sort. The part about “presents in the bedroom” appeals directly to the young alpha male who cannot put a price on getting his end away and this is the point, the idea is to blur the reality of how much money you should be parting with, because we have lost all touch with reality.

There were no details of the actual properties on offer. Presumably because the real sizes of rooms for the common punter would not allow a bed, kitchen and plazma all at the same time.

Case 2

Article in today’s Bricks and Mortar, the times property supplement. Called “Free with this house” an absolutely fabulous, get in whilst you can, bull article detailing some of the offers available if you buy now. Actually this reads like the most bearish article possible if one simply removes the rose tinted spectacles. My favourite line is this carefully constructed one:

“And it applies to all men – and women- buyers who are willing to sign up for a penthouse apartment before Christmas. Put another way, the offer is a timely marketing device designed to inject life into a development and redress the builders bank balance at a seasonally unproductive time of year”.

Except just 2 paragrpahs down “and not just at Christmas time”. Ha ha ha.

So whats on offer?

“Barratt Homes is offering a £5,000 shopping spree at a high street store of the buyers choice if he or she completes the purchase on one of the few remaining apartments on a development in Witham, Essex, before the Christmas deadline. No deposit is necessary and Barratt picks up the survey and legal costs.”

“Elsewhare in Essex Persimmon is offering a range of packages, including a part-exchange where appropriate, or the payment of the 5 per cent deposit and stamp duty,£500 towards legal costs and carpets in return for a Christmas completion. But to give a seasonal touch the builders are also including a day trip to Lapland to meet Father Christmas for a party of four in December 2006.”

What a load of tosh. Why should I let “the builders” decide how I should spend my money. The 5k spending spree in a store of my choice? Then give me a discount!

The trip to Lapland? Might I not prefer the money to go somewhere else, or even keep my payments down? These are clear signs to the thinking bear that all is not well at the bull feast table.

Case 3

"So good we bought one".

The last article I am amazed at was one talking about a development near Paddington. Where the paper had unearthed some sales people who had actually bought at a development there were trying to flog. Lets ignore the fact that they probably thought they should buy one to make sure they didn’t lose their jobs!

Loads of cr@p about open spaces and the use of natural materials (wood?) and how near the Heathrow Express and how they were in it for the long term, yet planned to sell in the next couple of years. (?!)

My favouraite line in this gem was “Its funny how things worked out for Justin and me. I think in the end we started believing our own publicity, or at least reading the sales brochure and realizing it was all true”.

It such a load of crap it almost flips back in a circle to make chaotic sense. Do bulls read this and see what they want to see, that buying is great and the builders are just nice guys who want to help us?

All this stuff just convinces me that we are on the edge of an abyss.

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All this stuff just convinces me that we are on the edge of an abyss.

it is bliss, it is sunlight, an ever-ascending spiral of euphoria leading inexorably to a property-owning paradise.

It is your destiny.

Go out... into this vibrant Albion, and buy. Buy stuff.

Don't think. Just do.

Consume.

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The old adage about knowing your enemies better than your friends is a petinent one here.

My favourite line in this gem was “Its funny how things worked out for Justin and me. I think in the end we started believing our own publicity, or at least reading the sales brochure and realizing it was all true”.

So which was it? I don't know that these people are enemies. Just part of the sad machinery of mass consumer delusion!

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  • 301 Brexit, House prices and Summer 2020

    1. 1. Including the effects Brexit, where do you think average UK house prices will be relative to now in June 2020?


      • down 5% +
      • down 2.5%
      • Even
      • up 2.5%
      • up 5%



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