Cosmic Apple Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 My girlfriend of 2 1/2 years is under intense pressure from her parents and brother (who both have multiple properties) to buy a house to let out *. A house has now been found at 'bellow market value', which is turns out is actual market value due to the 100+ houses that have received planning in the fields behind. Her mum and brother are both spouting that the new houses will increase the value as a better class of people will buy the new builds (yeah... right). My biggest issue here though is that the language she is now using (parroting her family) really turns me off her. All the usual 'you can't go wrong with property', 'nows a good time to buy', 'the value will go up' etc. While I can see her reasons for wanting to have her own place as a fall back, I can think of better ways to utilise the £30k she's saved up (she's 25 and a nursery nurse, so this is a LOT to save given she's been working for around 3years after uni). She clearly hasn't done her research, can't answer basic questions like what her repayments would be at 7%, what her tax liabilities are, what the HB allowance is for that house etc. and yet says housing is the 'only investment she wants to make'... well if you do the same level of research and analysis on other forms of investment I'm guessing you are fully clued up (yes, sarcasm!). She was in tears yesterday blubbering that I'm going to dump her if she goes ahead and if she doesn't her parents won't talk to her, and she wants them to like her again (they don't like me and its a constant source of friction between her and them). So as well as just wanting to vent, I'd be interested in what a group of people with no other background than what I've listed above think about this situation. Am I wrong to be considering splitting up with this girl who, apart from this issue, makes me very happy? * As a side note, when I was first chatting her up I had a warning of the BTL tendencies of this one and her parents, she asked me why I sold my house instead of 'just letting it out'. I'd hoped that the fact my old house, many years later was on the market for less than I sold it for and didn't sell would help my case. It just gets ignored. Maybe this was a warning I should have listened to and saved myself 2 1/2 years... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldbug9999 Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 My girlfriend of 2 1/2 years is under intense pressure from her parents and brother (who both have multiple properties) to buy a house to let out *. A house has now been found at 'bellow market value', which is turns out is actual market value due to the 100+ houses that have received planning in the fields behind. Her mum and brother are both spouting that the new houses will increase the value as a better class of people will buy the new builds (yeah... right). My biggest issue here though is that the language she is now using (parroting her family) really turns me off her. All the usual 'you can't go wrong with property', 'nows a good time to buy', 'the value will go up' etc. While I can see her reasons for wanting to have her own place as a fall back, I can think of better ways to utilise the £30k she's saved up (she's 25 and a nursery nurse, so this is a LOT to save given she's been working for around 3years after uni). She clearly hasn't done her research, can't answer basic questions like what her repayments would be at 7%, what her tax liabilities are, what the HB allowance is for that house etc. and yet says housing is the 'only investment she wants to make'... well if you do the same level of research and analysis on other forms of investment I'm guessing you are fully clued up (yes, sarcasm!). She was in tears yesterday blubbering that I'm going to dump her if she goes ahead and if she doesn't her parents won't talk to her, and she wants them to like her again (they don't like me and its a constant source of friction between her and them). So as well as just wanting to vent, I'd be interested in what a group of people with no other background than what I've listed above think about this situation. Am I wrong to be considering splitting up with this girl who, apart from this issue, makes me very happy? * As a side note, when I was first chatting her up I had a warning of the BTL tendencies of this one and her parents, she asked me why I sold my house instead of 'just letting it out'. I'd hoped that the fact my old house, many years later was on the market for less than I sold it for and didn't sell would help my case. It just gets ignored. Maybe this was a warning I should have listened to and saved myself 2 1/2 years... Let her buy it and you both go live there. Marry her then divorce her a couple of years later and claim half the house for yourself. Seriously though, you have to let women make their own mistakes especially where money is involved. Just make it clear that you wont be helping out if things go wrong (voids, repairs, IR rises etc). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
19 year mortgage 8itch Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 If you really like her, get one of her family to go halves on it so she shares the risk (spreads the pain) and say you never want to hear another word about the place. Never lift a finger to help and keep your personal financial affairs a million miles away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Apple Posted May 15, 2014 Author Share Posted May 15, 2014 And she'd have half mine. Mines worth more Wouldn't want to live in this one tbh... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackgoose Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 It depends upon how she handles putting in the offer. If she pays the asking price, she should be dumped. If she puts in a low ball offer as a take it or leave it offer, then maybe she has a little more sense. Saving up 30k in 3 years is better than most young people can manage so maybe she has some sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Apple Posted May 15, 2014 Author Share Posted May 15, 2014 If you really like her, get one of her family to go halves on it so she shares the risk (spreads the pain) and say you never want to hear another word about the place. Never lift a finger to help and keep your personal financial affairs a million miles away. Her mum is going to be involved financially as the banks wouldn't lend to her on her own (wonder why!). I have said I'll not have a joint account if she goes ahead with this. We'll just have to keep things as they are and she pays me her share of the bills/food etc. and I refund any expenses (clunky I know, I had intended to get a joint account). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruce Banner Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 Am I wrong to be considering splitting up with this girl who, apart from this issue, makes me very happy? If you really like her and are otherwise happy, let her get on with it, but, when she realises that it was a bad move to buy an investment house at the top of the market, don't say "I told you so", just be supportive and sympathetic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Apple Posted May 15, 2014 Author Share Posted May 15, 2014 It depends upon how she handles putting in the offer. If she pays the asking price, she should be dumped. If she puts in a low ball offer as a take it or leave it offer, then maybe she has a little more sense. The house is not being marketed by an agent. Its a 'private sale' (woman wants out quickly, I suspect because of the building thats going to start!). Price is £70k. 2005 sold price was £85k Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thecrashingisles Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 And she'd have half mine. Mines worth more Wouldn't want to live in this one tbh... Sell to rent with her as your landlord. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gilf Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 She was in tears yesterday blubbering that I'm going to dump her if she goes ahead and if she doesn't her parents won't talk to her, and she wants them to like her again (they don't like me and its a constant source of friction between her and them). She sounds like an overly emotional nutter and there are deeper problems with your relationship and her relationship with her parents than her buying a BTL. Sort these problems out (i.e. dump her) before you worry about any investment problems. That's the advice take it or leave it. It's a slight tangent but I can't imagine getting involved with somebody who cannot maintain a decent relationship with the people who brought them in to the world and then looked after them for 16+ years. Basically a big red flag if you ask me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Apple Posted May 15, 2014 Author Share Posted May 15, 2014 She sounds like an overly emotional nutter and there are deeper problems with your relationship and her relationship with her parents than her buying a BTL. Sort these problems out (i.e. dump her) before you worry about any investment problems. That's the advice take it or leave it. It's a slight tangent but I can't imagine getting involved with somebody who cannot maintain a decent relationship with the people who brought them in to the world and then looked after them for 16+ years. Basically a big red flag if you ask me. Her parents hate me because I'm white. Her 'easy road' option to a smooth relationship with her parents would be to find someone (or have them supply that someone) who is Chinese, preferably from Hong Kong. Hope that helps Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowflux Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 She sounds like an overly emotional nutter and there are deeper problems with your relationship and her relationship with her parents than her buying a BTL. Sort these problems out (i.e. dump her) before you worry about any investment problems. That's the advice take it or leave it. It's a slight tangent but I can't imagine getting involved with somebody who cannot maintain a decent relationship with the people who brought them in to the world and then looked after them for 16+ years. Basically a big red flag if you ask me. I couldn't disagree more. She sounds like the most sensible of the cast to me, though ill-advised by her family. Saving 30k in 3 years proves a certain amount of financial responsibility, as does the fact that she wants to invest money at all, rather than blowing it on clothes and holidays. She obviously doesn't want to upset either her family or her boyfriend, which is the reason for her emotional stress. I feel quite sorry for her! I'd say to the OP that it's certainly not worth splitting up about, many things have more value than money. Tell her you don't agree and give your reasons, but let her go ahead while keeping your own finances separate. Let her make her own mistakes, and don't keep hassling her about it. £70k is not a massive amount of money, so if/when it does go pear-shaped, her family should be able to bail her out, and you'll come up smelling of roses. Edit: Why is this in off-topic, btw? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bendy Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 This sure is a long winded way to tell us all that you're tapping up some hot 25 year old asian burd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crashmonitor Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 The property has tanked quite a bit since 2005, perhaps 50% in inflation adjusted terms. So timing could have been worse. My only doubts is what sort of area are we talking about, not some God forsaken suburb of Burnley or Doncaster I hope where the place is going to get trashed and no rent forthcoming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shindigger Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 Let her buy it and you both go live there. Marry her then divorce her a couple of years later and claim half the house for yourself. Seriously though, you have to let women make their own mistakes especially where money is involved. Just make it clear that you wont be helping out if things go wrong (voids, repairs, IR rises etc). Let her get on with it? It'll still be his fault though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
interestrateripoff Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 I think you need to provide more details. Firstly is she any good in bed? From the start you need to make clear you won't be bailing her out, but then you have the problem of if you do really like her you'll be buying into the debt if you get married. Also is the tension going to become unbearable if property values go up and the parents are there being smug saying told you so, why didn't you invest property only ever goes up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Apple Posted May 15, 2014 Author Share Posted May 15, 2014 This sure is a long winded way to tell us all that you're tapping up some hot 25 year old asian burd. I'm only 31 so its not that big an achievement She's not that hot really Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldbug9999 Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 It'll still be his fault though. True itl be a case of "but you should have stopped me !". Woman logic, cant beat it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldbug9999 Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 Her mum is going to be involved financially as the banks wouldn't lend to her on her own (wonder why!). I have said I'll not have a joint account if she goes ahead with this. We'll just have to keep things as they are and she pays me her share of the bills/food etc. and I refund any expenses (clunky I know, I had intended to get a joint account). NEVER have a joint bank account especially if shes living in a house you own. If she pays any money into the account she can later claim that she contributed to mortgage payments and therefore has a "beneficial interest" in your property (even if your not married). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Apple Posted May 15, 2014 Author Share Posted May 15, 2014 The property has tanked quite a bit since 2005, perhaps 50% in inflation adjusted terms. So timing could have been worse. My only doubts is what sort of area are we talking about, not some God forsaken suburb of Burnley or Doncaster I hope where the place is going to get trashed and no rent forthcoming. Geographically close to Burnley, but the other side of the border. Much better and probably where we would be looking for a family home if it ever came. From the start you need to make clear you won't be bailing her out, but then you have the problem of if you do really like her you'll be buying into the debt if you get married. Also is the tension going to become unbearable if property values go up and the parents are there being smug saying told you so, why didn't you invest property only ever goes up. I think its fairly clear already. She does like to keep her money as hers and mine as mine (fine by me!). Yeah but is that really going to happen? I'm 'in' property... I own the majority of our (my) home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Apple Posted May 15, 2014 Author Share Posted May 15, 2014 NEVER have a joint bank account especially if shes living in a house you own. If she pays any money into the account she can later claim that she contributed to mortgage payments and therefore has a "beneficial interest" in your property (even if your not married). Well she currently pays a 40% share of all the bills/food (but excluding the mortgage). This is paid to my account. The house was mine (65%) and the banks (35%) before I met her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmic Apple Posted May 15, 2014 Author Share Posted May 15, 2014 I couldn't disagree more. She sounds like the most sensible of the cast to me, though ill-advised by her family. Saving 30k in 3 years proves a certain amount of financial responsibility, as does the fact that she wants to invest money at all, rather than blowing it on clothes and holidays. She obviously doesn't want to upset either her family or her boyfriend, which is the reason for her emotional stress. I feel quite sorry for her! I'd say to the OP that it's certainly not worth splitting up about, many things have more value than money. Tell her you don't agree and give your reasons, but let her go ahead while keeping your own finances separate. Let her make her own mistakes, and don't keep hassling her about it. £70k is not a massive amount of money, so if/when it does go pear-shaped, her family should be able to bail her out, and you'll come up smelling of roses. Edit: Why is this in off-topic, btw? Yes she does love to save... her plan is to churn all this in to the BTL and pay off the mortgage. I've warned her to keep a contingency back. Thanks, I think I've just spent too long reading this site. I'll tell her we need to maintain financial separation for both our sakes and we'll continue on with the current arrangement of covering the bills. The BTL will be hers to worry about, nothing to do with me. If/when we end up buying a house together, should her BTL hamper our borrowing I can always use that as leverage to get more things my own way Even on my salary I can afford the next step. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiveinHope Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 Yes she does love to save... her plan is to churn all this in to the BTL and pay off the mortgage. I've warned her to keep a contingency back. Thanks, I think I've just spent too long reading this site. I'll tell her we need to maintain financial separation for both our sakes and we'll continue on with the current arrangement of covering the bills. The BTL will be hers to worry about, nothing to do with me. If/when we end up buying a house together, should her BTL hamper our borrowing I can always use that as leverage to get more things my own way Even on my salary I can afford the next step. What will the yield be ? Is it 'worth it' - maintenance, voids etc Personally, i think life is too short to be tied to property or to someone who is tied to property, until at least double your age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccc Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 I would send her an email or something - and save it for posterity. Its fine everything you are saying today - but in a few years if it all goes wrong then history may change in her mind - women are the worse for this - although blokes do it too. Save yourself something you can defend yourself with if you need. Not just from her - potentially her family. "Why didn't you stop her - you should be there to support her and give her advice etc etc" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bruce Banner Posted May 15, 2014 Share Posted May 15, 2014 I would send her an email or something - and save it for posterity. Its fine everything you are saying today - but in a few years if it all goes wrong then history may change in her mind - women are the worse for this - although blokes do it too. Save yourself something you can defend yourself with if you need. Not just from her - potentially her family. "Why didn't you stop her - you should be there to support her and give her advice etc etc" Yes, I've done that with my wife when we can't agree about something. It can help, but it's no defence against "I only agreed to shut you up" . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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