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crashmonitor

Infantalization Of Young Adults

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I was in the dentist this morning and a circa 20 year old bloke was accompanied by his mother. He was dressed for work and said he was starting at 8:30. Fair enough I thought she is waiting to give him a lift, but she then accompanied him into the room for the check up.

Now this all seems very odd to me, from the standpoint of someone who found his own way to the dentists from about the age of 10 and signed the forms myself. Hell would have frozen over before I allowed my mother to even watch me play for the school football team (even at pre 11 level) and I was walking home from school on my own from infant school onwards.

Another odd thing also happened recently, a 17 year old bloke went to the toilet with his mother at a house. OK I gather the billionaire, Howard Hughes, had to go to the toilet with his mother in his forties, whence she held his hand. But it all seems a bit chummy, from one who is now estranged from his mother.

I can understand all this from the view point of the mother and you could say it is a bit endearing, must be nice not to cut the apron strings; but why do men allow this to happen? My parents were always an embarrassmnet and I was out of there asap.

http://gmwilliams.hubpages.com/hub/The-Infantilized-Child

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Another new concept is this chaffeuring lark. It seems relatives spend all their free time being a taxi service to ballet, football practise, school and the rest. Fair enough, in this time of perceived danger, but they still do it in the kid's late teens and early twenties.

A girl aged 24 at my partner's workplace gets chauffeured in by her father evry morning and picked up at night. Meanwhile my partner walks and she lives the same distance away.

Absolutely no chance of getting this type of service from my parents 30 years ago, well I was actually not living with them at 24 anyway.

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So they've been insulted from the world when they've been growing up. Kindest thing you can do to someone I think, considering the ever-increasing march towards it becoming a duller, grimmer, more unpleasant place to live in. If they never have to think and act for themselves they may be fortunate enough to never notice how crap everything is getting. On the downside that might well accelerate the process, as all they'll be interested in is the next shiny bauble and nothing that really matters.

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Now this all seems very odd to me, from the standpoint of someone who found his own way to the dentists from about the age of 10 and signed the forms myself. Hell would have frozen over before I allowed my mother to even watch me play for the school football team (even at pre 11 level)

I dont think this would be described as 'normal' either.

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So they've been insulted from the world when they've been growing up. Kindest thing you can do to someone I think, considering the ever-increasing march towards it becoming a duller, grimmer, more unpleasant place to live in. If they never have to think and act for themselves they may be fortunate enough to never notice how crap everything is getting. On the downside that might well accelerate the process, as all they'll be interested in is the next shiny bauble and nothing that really matters.

Maybe the world is becoming duller and grimmer because of this, not in spite of it?

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There's nothing adult about having your bum wiped fo you, and your mum making you a packed lunch!

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There's nothing adult about having your bum wiped fo you, and your mum making you a packed lunch!

not at the same time no.

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not at the same time no.

You have obviously met my mum!

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So they've been insulted from the world when they've been growing up. Kindest thing you can do to someone I think, considering the ever-increasing march towards it becoming a duller, grimmer, more unpleasant place to live in. If they never have to think and act for themselves they may be fortunate enough to never notice how crap everything is getting. On the downside that might well accelerate the process, as all they'll be interested in is the next shiny bauble and nothing that really matters.

I hope you meant insulated from the world!

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I hope you meant insulated from the world!

Well spotted! I never make spling mistaks, or errors of the grammatorial! :blink:

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I work in an emergency dental clinic. This is quite common. In fact, the need some adults (not that young) have for someone else (parent, child, partner) to accompany them into the surgery is quite prevalent and IMO quite pathetic. These people are usually of average intelligence. I have several questions:

Why is it that they are unable to undertake the simplest action independently?

Is the nanniest nanny state of all time to blame for the death of common sense?

How do we reverse this pathetic trend?

Finally, I may be a bit to blame myself. My big ex-soldier son walked out of his dental appointment (at which I was NOT present) because the drilling HURT! He's had a good talking-to and won't be doing it again!!

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Maybe the world is becoming duller and grimmer because of this, not in spite of it?

A bit of a vicious circle really. It certainly doesn't help.

I hope you meant insulated from the world!

Hah, well spotted! That has to be one of my better typos.

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There's nothing adult about having your bum wiped fo you, and your mum making you a packed lunch!

With the same hand.

Never met any of these aged infants, but the boomers will be fuming when this nation-sweeping trend makes the DM headlines.

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Just sound like the hen-pecked offspring of over protective mothers.

Though I thought they'd always existed..

Yes!

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My girlfriend came with me the last time I went to the dentist. She was there to make sure I actually went, and came in to make sure I didn't chicken out of telling them something that I knew was going to be quite unpleasant to have fixed. She'll probably have to come with me next time as well, or I just won't go!

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Does Osborne's mother live at No 11? He seems the sort the OP is talking about. Maybe mummy is why he's inflating the housing bubble so all the other thirty and forty somethings have to stay at home and have their knobs held by their parents in the toilet.

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I dont think this would be described as 'normal' either.

May be not now, but in the 70s there was a bit of stigma being seen with your mother even at primary level. My memories of school football matches, for example, was an empty touchline without a single parent watching...so the thought of having your own parents there would have been an horrendous embarrassment. Similarly you came out of school and the last thing you would want is a car waiting to pick you up........it just wasn't the done thing.

So shame was part of growing up back then...so seeing grown men being taken to the toilet or dentists by their mothers shows how times have changed.

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Another new concept is this chaffeuring lark. It seems relatives spend all their free time being a taxi service to ballet, football practise, school and the rest. Fair enough, in this time of perceived danger, but they still do it in the kid's late teens and early twenties.

A girl aged 24 at my partner's workplace gets chauffeured in by her father evry morning and picked up at night. Meanwhile my partner walks and she lives the same distance away.

Absolutely no chance of getting this type of service from my parents 30 years ago, well I was actually not living with them at 24 anyway.

This.

Edit:

I understand that it is sensible and safe to do so at certain times of the day but, boy, young adults today still act like very young children when it comes to expecting to be driven places.

I am not sure whether it is because they expect it or because they are lazy or because they are child-like - probably a mixture.

A friend of mine rang me up a few days ago complaining about this very thing with regards to a divorced man that she has begun seeing - in fact, moved in with (Far too early IMPO). She has gone from being single and carefree to now having her life revolve around when and where her boyfriend's daughter is being chauffeured.

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Never let your wife drive your car! A divorce will happen!

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May be not now, but in the 70s there was a bit of stigma being seen with your mother even at primary level. My memories of school football matches, for example, was an empty touchline without a single parent watching...so the thought of having your own parents there would have been an horrendous embarrassment. Similarly you came out of school and the last thing you would want is a car waiting to pick you up........it just wasn't the done thing.

So shame was part of growing up back then...so seeing grown men being taken to the toilet or dentists by their mothers shows how times have changed.

You didn't have children if I recall and you are estranged from your mother? I wouldn't necessarily describe that as normal and o would wonder why that was.

I'm not quite sure what you are expecting. Is physical contact and emotional attachment with your progeny now considered mollycoddling?

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