DTMark Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Wondered if anyone has any tales of eccentric, weird experiences. I'm not normally lost for words as anyone who knows me would tell you. However on this occasion.. I work from home. We live in a rural area. One day a few months ago there's a knock at the door during the day. Unusual. I wander downstairs and open the door. Man standing there. Looks at me for a few moments. The first words out of his mouth: "Are your parents there?" Slightly dumbfounded and wondering whether to be flattered or not. Wondering what to respond with. "Er, no. I live here." "Ah. It's just that I'm selling fish and I wondered if you wanted any." I can see a small van parked in the lane. Thinking "This is new. Haven't had this before." "I'm a vegetarian". "What about your wife?" I could perhaps have just said no, but couldn't resist at this point. "My boyfriend is vegetarian too." The bloke looked genuinely puzzled, like I was the one not making any sense. "Oh, right. Do you know anyone else who might like to buy some fish?" The desire to reach out and slap the man grew inside me. "No. Our neighbour is out during the day. Perhaps you could come back later on." "Oh, I'm only here this afternoon" (like we, and he, had "lost out" somehow) "Right then. Sorry, no." Wanders back down the path, opens and closes the gate behind him, and gets back in the van. I'm not sure if I imagined a slight shake of the head or not. Still figures as one of the most bizarre random exchanges I've had. Any other tales.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Masked Tulip Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 I get similar occasionally - appaears to be some kind of man in a white van frozen fish franchise. I have no idea where they come from as the vans are never marked with any names. Basically, a bloke knocks on the door, asks me if I wish to buy an enormous pile of frozen fish, asks me if I know anyone else might be interested, is only in the area for a short time and then goes away. I get the impression that these fish men in a white van come from some distance away. I have often wondered if it is some kind of scam but there have never been reports of Police hunting fish conmen in the area. I find it odd mainly because I live about a 5 minute walk from the beach and the local market has numerous thriving fish stalls. Expect a return encounter in several months time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank Hovis Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 I knew somebody who lived in rural isolation, down a long unmade lane with two gates on it. One day at a time that she would usually be at work two guys in a white van turned up and knocked at the door. They seemed surprised that she'd answered it, mumbled something and left. She thought they were burglars looking for isolated places where nobody was in so they could turn the place over. Maybe they now have a fish cover story. This was the Forest of Dean ten years ago, so potentially the same guys as for TMT. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StuG III Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Sounds fishy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
corevalue Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 We get them around occasionally. Sometimes they're just hawking fish, and trying to find new regular customers. On another occasion, it was a delivery to restaurants/pubs who was trying to get rid of the last of his load - the fish were frozen into containers, about 2kG a box to put in your freezer. Mate of mine got doorstepped by a good one - who took orders the previous day and brought what you wanted to your door. Haven't had his luck myself, only choice I've ever been given is what's on the van. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Is the van shaped like a giant whelk? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SarahBell Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Old ladies who want to leave a pamphlet about their lord. Really need to get me a blood donation sticker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happy_renting Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Genuine fish sellers have vans that play fish-themed tunes, and have 'stop me and fry one' written on the side. Also, the men that drive them smell strongly of fish. Accept no imitations. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thecrashingisles Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 "Are your parents there?" He was obviously conducting a covert poll on adults living with their parents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Miyagi Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Thats the well known fish seller scam, originates out of the North East. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bendy Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 I knew somebody who lived in rural isolation, down a long unmade lane with two gates on it. One day at a time that she would usually be at work two guys in a white van turned up and knocked at the door. They seemed surprised that she'd answered it, mumbled something and left. She thought they were burglars looking for isolated places where nobody was in so they could turn the place over. Maybe they now have a fish cover story. This was the Forest of Dean ten years ago, so potentially the same guys as for TMT. I too don't doubt it cod have been a pair of ****-soles looking to turn the plaice over. IRL - my folks used to have a fish delivery every thursday, was more semi-rural though, a big enough village to warrant a fair bit of trade. I also think he was linked to the local butcher in some way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snowflux Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Maybe I'm just not the social type, but I certainly wouldn't have been so forthcoming about my circumstances. I'd have just said "No, I don't want any fish. Goodbye." I generally refuse to deal with cold callers of any kind; experience has taught me that they're very unlikely to be calling for my benefit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thecrashingisles Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Forum exchange in London: http://www.nappyvalleynet.com/mums/viewtopic.php?t=17642 Nappyvalleynet? Is that like mumsnet but more exclusive? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 I too don't doubt it cod have been a pair of ****-soles looking to turn the plaice over. IRL - my folks used to have a fish delivery every thursday, was more semi-rural though, a big enough village to warrant a fair bit of trade. I also think he was linked to the local butcher in some way. Mr Cod, the fish butcher? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrPin Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 We use a Family Butcher. Ah you want the "special" stuff! Are you "local"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
@contradevian Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Mr Cod, the fish butcher? he has fishy fingers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DTMark Posted May 7, 2014 Author Share Posted May 7, 2014 I too don't doubt it cod have been a pair of ****-soles looking to turn the plaice over. IRL - my folks used to have a fish delivery every thursday, was more semi-rural though, a big enough village to warrant a fair bit of trade. I also think he was linked to the local butcher in some way. I didn't know this was a type of scam. But then I'm reminded of the exchange between Dreyfus and Clouseau: "How did you know he was blind?" "Because he told me so." "And you believed him?" "I had no reason to doubt him." "That man was the lookout for the robbers." We have had the lost dog scam a couple of times. I wouldn't claim to be a body language expert but most people don't need to look to the heavens briefly to answer the question "What sort of dog is it?" nor become vague when asked "Where were you were he ran off?" People get away with very little around here. There are too many people home during the day and it's a very quiet area with single-track lanes and rare, highly predictable traffic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Masked Tulip Posted May 7, 2014 Share Posted May 7, 2014 Nappyvalleynet? Is that like mumsnet but more exclusive? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winkie Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 Tell him the dog only eats fresh meat that smells of fish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
porca misèria Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 We get them around occasionally. Sometimes they're just hawking fish, and trying to find new regular customers. On another occasion, it was a delivery to restaurants/pubs who was trying to get rid of the last of his load - the fish were frozen into containers, about 2kG a box to put in your freezer. Mate of mine got doorstepped by a good one - who took orders the previous day and brought what you wanted to your door. Haven't had his luck myself, only choice I've ever been given is what's on the van. Wasn't sure about the OP, but that one is clearly a scam. If there's fish in there it'll be stuff that's legally fit neither for human consumption nor animal feed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Masked Tulip Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 Bizarrely, at the time of writing, 'Nappy Valley' is the headline on the Daily Mail homepage Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
corevalue Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 Wasn't sure about the OP, but that one is clearly a scam. If there's fish in there it'll be stuff that's legally fit neither for human consumption nor animal feed. Why? Bought at the dockside market after inspection and delivered chilled to your door? The fish I've seen him get were superb. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Masked Tulip Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 Named after this lot: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Happy_Valley_set http://www.oxforddnb.com/templates/theme.jsp?articleid=101230&back=&backToResults Get yourself down there. What else was there to do other than to murder wild animals, drink pink gin and bugger anything else that moved. There was lots of that going on in the repressed Victorian times - people moving to places like Kenya, the Northwest Frontier or Wales for a big dollop of sexual promiscuity. There are loads of big houses around Wales where, about 100 to 150 years, all sorts of sexual things were going on between groups of people who moved from London. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Masked Tulip Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 Just to add, I keep getting adverts for this website appear on here - and very nice it is too. http://www.brazilianbikinishop.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thecrashingisles Posted May 8, 2014 Share Posted May 8, 2014 Named after this lot: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Happy_Valley_set http://www.oxforddnb.com/templates/theme.jsp?articleid=101230&back=&backToResults Get yourself down there. I thought it was a pun on Napa Valley. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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